goofy girl

Watching Fall TV Shows Without Cable

2011-09-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

Since we ditched our cable TV over the summer, we avoided what I call the "Watercooler Issue".
Some TV shows have gained a definite social aspect and are likely to be discussed amongst friends and co-workers soon after they air. You know the ones - "Survivor", "American Idol", those "Real Housewives of Timbuktu" shows.

But if you haven't watched the show that night or at least the next night, you either hear all the spoilers or you just can't join the conversation.

This is a Big Deal for some people. I am one of them.

So with the fall TV season quickly approaching, I began to strategize. Since we have no DVR, I cannot simply record the shows I want to watch later, so I'm left with two choices:

Watch the show live. Gasp! So 1950's!

Leave it to the show's network to record the show, then watch it online later (via laptop hooked to TV with HDMI cable)

I will TRY to use option #1 when possible, but I know for a fact that I already have plans during the premiere of one of my favorite shows, "Dancing with the Stars". This is a show that will be talked about the next day. So I checked ABC's website for when the show will be available for watching online. Turns out ABC is a pretty responsive network, and has the show available online the next day. Score!

But, if you snooze, you lose. ABC takes the shows down after 4 weeks.

I wondered whether other networks had a similar timeframe for making shows available. As it turns out, they do not, and it's not always very easy to find this "timing" on their website. So, lucky you, I'm providing it to you in one place. Enjoy!

ABC
Where: http://abc.go.com/watch
When: Shows are available the day after broadcast.
How Long: Shows are available for 4 weeks after broadcast.

CBS
Where: http://www.cbs.com/video
When: Shows are available the day after broadcast.
How Long: Unknown (after the fall season starts, I'll figure this out).
Exceptions: There are some shows that are owned by other studios that have requested that they not be available online. So alas, you will not find "Two and a Half Men," "The Mentalist," "Cold Case," or "Without a Trace" online.

NBC
Where: http://www.nbc.com/video
When: The majority of our primetime shows become available for viewing online at 4 AM Central time the night of the broadcast. Wow!
How Long: Unknown - but looks like the past 3-9 episodes are available for most shows.

CW
Where: http://www.cwtv.com/cw-video
When: Shows are available 3 days after broadcast.
How Long: Unknown - but looks like the past 5-6 episodes are available for most shows.

Fox
Where: http://www.fox.com/full-episodes
When: Fox has decided to get in bed with DISH Network (and "more TV Providers coming soon"!). For DISH Network subscribers ONLY, shows are available the day after broadcast. For the rest of us schmucks, they are available a whopping 8 days after broadcast! Epic FAIL, Fox. Give us non-cable folks another option, even if it's fee-based.
How Long: Unknown - but looks like the past 3-8 episodes are available, depending on the shows.

So, other than Fox, the networks have made it fairly easy to keep up with your favorite shows without cable and without DVR.

Now bring on the fall shows!

Look Ma - No Cable!

2011-09-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure where the initial idea came from. I must have seen our recent cable bill and thought about how little TV we actually watch and realized “Holy Shit! We are spending $84 a month for stuff we could watch on network TV for free!”

Then I came to my senses and realized that in order to do this, we would need to be home at a specific time, in order to sit in front of a TV and watch something LIVE…and this is something that we are just not programmed to do anymore. Damn you DVR! You’ve spoiled us all!

But the idea persisted. And I did some research. And the rest, as they say, is history.

The Original Vision
I originally had this vision of a computer hooked to our TV in the living room, serving up streaming audio and video from the Internet. Two problems with this strategy:
1. Audio
2. Video

Audio - When you plug your computer into your TV, the sound still comes out of the computer. Computers are not known for their spectacular sound quality. Some nice speakers could be bought to help out, but then the living room is filling up with all sorts of equipment clutter.

Video - When you plug your computer into your TV, the TV acts like a great big monitor. Monitors don’t do HDMI quality video. We have an HDMI TV - we want to see an HDMI picture.

Luckily, connecting the TV with the computer with an HDMI cable solves both these problems. If (and it’s a big “if”) your computer has a spot to plug in an HDMI cable. If your computer is older than a few years old, it probably does not.

Tangent note: Do NOT buy an expensive HDMI cable...please! This one (HDMI Cable 2M (6 Feet))is just dandy and it's two bucks. DO be mindful of the length of the cord - make sure it's long enough.

Fortunately, we DO have a laptop that has an HDMI cable jack. Unfortunately, my protective husband did not want his precious laptop in the jungle-that-is-our-living-room, alone and unprotected. Sigh.

So more research was required.

What about "live" TV?
I knew we could get "re-runs" of our favorite shows online, but I was also curious about live TV. We do live in Kansas, known for its springtime Tornado Fest. It might be nice to get some up-to-date weather information, as needed, from local TV. My good friend Google told me that a digital antenna ($15) would allow us to watch digital channels "over the air" without any cable requirements. Since the investment was low, I decided this would be a good first step.

We got the digital antenna from Amazon for $15 (the fancily named Axis DVB-T9001 Omni-Directional Digital Indoor Antenna), plugged it into the TV and clicked around until we found the ‘search for over the air channels’ (or something like that). It found 22 channels. We don’t watch these a lot, but they will come in handy for Chiefs games and for weather advisory stuff. Or if you’re one of those folks that still watches the news on TV.

What we discovered out of this experiment is that we pretty much hate live TV. The commercials every 5 minutes, waiting for shows to be on, the lack of “anything on right now”. Ugh. We needed a streaming service to give us more content.

Yet more research was required.

Streaming Services
The Big Daddy is Netflix. We’ve all heard of Netflix. I was skeptical about it though, having heard that the streaming content did not keep up with the disc-in-the-mail content. I also heard rumblings about HuluPlus, which is more TV-show oriented than Netflix.
But wait! I was getting ahead of myself. How to get the Netflix goodness to my TV?

I knew that our Nintendo Wii console had the capability to deliver streaming content to a TV, especially if that content is Netflix. But our Wii lives in the kid’s playroom and we just didn’t want to bring that romping, stomping good time frenzy up to our living room.

After more research, I uncovered some alternatives to connecting a full-blown computer to the TV to get these streaming services. There are several devices that can do this: Roku, Boxee, AppleTV, and the previously-mentioned Wii, as well as the Playstation console.

Roku and Boxee have very similar features, but very different prices. Roku ranges from $59 - $99 and Boxee is $199. After reading the raving reviews of Roku and its other features, I decided to buy it. We got the middle version – XD for $79 - that provides 1080p HD quality video.

So how does it work? Well, you plug the Roku device (which is about as big as a ham sandwich) into your TV directly, with an HDMI cable. It finds your Internet connection, via the wireless network in your house, and connects your TV to the Internet.

To wrap your mind around how this works, think about it this way. Basically, the Internet is your DVR. And it's recording EVERYTHING, not just what you tell it to. The Roku is your cable box, allowing you to access all the pre-recorded goodness. One difference: the Roku does not actually perform stereotypical DVR functions – it has no memory for saving shows. You don't have to tell it to record anything. So we’ve had to adjust our thinking somewhat, from: What do we want to set the DVR to watch? to: What do we want to watch? (then check whether any of the Internet services have the show we are wanting).

Definitely a change in thinking, but I have to confess we’ve watched more TV than we have in a long time. We‘ve found several new shows that we really like ("Billy the Exterminator" - Who knew about this show?). We never would have found some of these shows in the chaos that is the cable channel guide! It’s actually a fun process…”What about xyz show? Where can we find that?”, “Hey, look at this show – I've never heard of it before!”, etc.

The Internet streaming services that we are testing out (1st month is free for both) are Netflix and HuluPlus. Netflix is more movie-centric, with some cable shows; HuluPlus has more TV shows. HuluPlus has whole seasons of shows available. Both are $7.99/month each if we decide to keep them.

Oh and the “other features” I mentioned above regarding the Roku box. The Roku is not limited to Netflix and HuluPlus. It has a Channel Store – that frankly, we haven’t scratched the surface of – that has dozens of other channels with different content. Some examples are:

Pandora (this replaces all those lame cable music stations)

FoxNews

CHOW (all the cooking shows you ever wanted)

Crackle (older movies - "Lethal Weapon", anyone?)

Oh and all the channels I listed above are FREE. Cool, huh?

Now let’s stop and do some quick math:
Roku box $79 + Netflix $7.99 + HuluPlus $7.99 = about $96. One month of our cable-TV bill was $84. Big savings…especially since the only ongoing monthly expense is the 2 services, which total $16/month.

What about DVR capability?
The strangest thing so far is the lack of the DVR. We were big set-the-DVR-at-watch-it-later folks. But if you get the right set of other services, they do all that for you, you just need to remember to go watch. You have to ditch the DVR Mindset. Damn near everything is out there “in the cloud”, you just have to find it.

What if I can't find it?
Yes, there are shows that you just won't find on any streaming service. If you can’t find it – I’m talking to you “True Blood”! – your other choices are:
1. Wait for the season to be over and buy the whole damn season on DVD
2. Watch it on a computer (with or without HDMI capability)

Okay, now you’re saying “Hold on! Our point here is to save money! If I’m out buying seasons of all my favorite shows on DVD, that will break the bank.” And it might, if you aren’t careful. Check your streaming services first, then check online, then check the library. Yes, I said the LIBRARY...don't be a caveman. We have rented whole seasons of “Dexter” and “Weeds” from the library. For free. Nothing. Nada. You can’t lollygag around, though, you have to watch the entire season in the 3 weeks you have the DVDs checked out, but trust me, it’s doable.

If you do need to buy a season, buy it, watch it, then re-sell it on http://www.half.com/. I resold a season of Dexter for several dollars MORE than what I bought it for. Score!

What next?
Our next challenge will be the Fall TV shows premiering. If we want to watch one or more of these, how will we? There's the live option, but I'm guessing with the nicer weather, we won't want to rush inside to watch a possibly-lame TV show. So stay tuned on how we cope!

And post comments with any questions or experiences you have. I'd love to hear them both!

Adventures in Body Fat Measurement

2011-03-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Tim Ferriss has spurred me into action yet again with his new book, "The Four Hour Body". It's a quite interesting read, with chapters on a "slow carb" diet, how to sleep better, how to gain muscle mass, etc.

His first advice was to get an accurate measurement of your body fat, so you will know what's working (and what's not) in the future. Scales and body weight are pretty meaningless, as most of us have figured out by now. But body fat does not lie - specifically your body fat percentage, as in "how much of my body is wiggly and jiggly" versus "how much is rock hard muscle goodness". The trick is accurately measuring this.

One device that can give you an accurate measure of your jiggly-ness is the BodPod.

Despite the unfortunate name, the BodPod is a rather cool device. The device knows how much mass its chamber consists of. Then it measures the air displacement that occurs when your body is put into the chamber of the device. The difference is how much mass you take up. Calculations are made from this to determine your body composition. This photo shows you the idea (and goodness no, this is not me in the photo! I wouldn't be caught dead in a yellow swimsuit!)

And yes, after seeing how much fun this lady was having in the photo, I had to try this! Notice her sporty swimcap?

It was easy to find a place to do this, and for $35, not financially taxing either.

I was told not to eat nor exercise for 2 hours before my Pod appointment. "Coffee?" I asked. "Um, no, better not" was the response. Ugh.

So this morning, with empty belly and swimsuit in hand, I ventured to the BodPod.

Not surprisingly, when I mentioned "The Four Hour Body", the technician laughed. She said that their traffic had increased at least 10 extra people per month because of the book.

The first step was to change into swimsuit, swimcap, and get my weight. Yes, weight is important here because it's the denominator in the body fat percentage equation. FAT / TOTAL-WEIGHT = body fat percentage (for those of you science geeks reading).

I jumped into the $26,000 Pod. The door closed. There were to be three 40-second measurements. If for whatever reason I was uncomforable, there was a large "Cancel Test" button right in front that would ~~eject me into space~~ open the Pod bay door, Hal.

It was a fast, comfortable experience (aside from the initially cold plastic seat - Brrr).

There were whirring and clicking noises. I'm somewhat claustrophic, but the giant window made that a non-issue.

In no time, we were done, and the results were in. I had a report of my wiggly, jiggly and my rock hard muscley-ness. I had a legend to compare myself with "normal".

For those of you curious, I ended up "Moderately Lean" - just missing "Lean" by a pan of brownies.

Ridiculous Things

2010-03-06T19:44:00.001-08:00

Every once in a while, I come across a situation where, when you stop and think about it, you realize just how ridiculous it is.

Case in point:
I called to order a pizza to pick up tonight. Mr. Goofy is out of town and pizza presented itself to be the dinner of choice for discriminating appetites.

When I called, the friendly pizza lady asked me what kind of pizza I wanted (of course) and asked my name. So far, so good. Then they asked for my phone number. I willingly gave it, but after hanging up, could not help but wonder WHY. WHY do you need my phone number? Are you going to call back and confirm my order? (I've never had anyplace every do this...EVER.) Is it in case I'm just playing a trick and don't really plan on picking up the pizza? Or I would forgot my delicious hot-out-of-the-oven pizza pie? If so, are you REALLY going to call me back? What would you say?! Hey come pick up your pizza that we made two hours ago that you obviously forgot about...DUMBASS?

REALLY?

I've worked at a pizza place (two, in fact). I've NEVER called anyone back that didn't pick up their pizza. You actually HOPE that someone doesn't pick up a pizza. You just keep for a while, then one of the employees takes it home, reheats it and has a yummy midnight snack.

And really, in this day and age of Caller ID - do you REALLY even need to ask my phone number? Can't you see it on your phone display and jot it down? Wouldn't this be a better use of everyone's time?

Goofy Runs (Really!)

2009-08-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd type that. That. Up there in the title. "Goofy Runs". THAT!!!

You see, I'm NOT a runner. Running to me has always been BORING. Well, okay, if you are running from first base to second base, or across the soccer field to shoot and SCORE, yah, that's kinda cool. You have a purpose. But running down the street, just 'cause...well. Bo-ring. Yawn. Not for me.

But...opinions have this nasty way of changing sometimes.

Especially when you have friends that talk you into doing a 5K. Well, not just ANY 5K. The Komen Race for the Cure. The Rock Concert of 5Ks (IMHO).

There was MUSIC every half-mile...live bands, fer crying out loud! And snacks after.

Hell, no one ever told me about the SNACKS. I like snacks, especially delicious, sugary ones. :-)

And...

I thought I would walk most the way....I didn't.
I thought I would be sore and tired after...I wasn't.
I thought I would do this and not want to ever do it again...I was wrong!

In fact, I did another damn 5K the following weekend. And I had to stop myself from signing up for one the weekend after that! I'm signed up for one next weekend.

I am officially addicted. Not really addicted to running. I'm not dying to get into the gym to run the treadmill, and I'm not dying to pound the pavement around my block.

It's the RACES that get me. The MASSES of people, all running to the same finish line. All in a HURRY. All sweating, but SMILING. The COMPETITION and SPIRIT of it all. THIS is what gets me up at the buttcrack of dawn to go do something that I viciously hated just a few short weeks ago.

Well, okay and the SNACKS don't hurt either.

RA Sushi - Unsolicited Website Critique

2009-08-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

No, you didn't ask, but here's a website review I felt compelled to write about "RA Sushi", a sushi restaurant chain that appears to be located out of Scottsdale, AZ. that is opening up a new location in Kansas City.

I tripped across this website when I read that RA Sushi was opening up a location in Kansas City. I have just returned from a vacation in Lake Tahoe, where the sushi is served up like McDonald's cheeseburgers. I had eaten my share of delish sushi from Tahoe, so I was ready to commit to sushi more in my wonderful home town of Kansas City.

Problem is: Not too many sushi places here do a Happy Hour. We absolutely LIVED on sushi happy hours in Tahoe. Same delish sushi. Half-price. What's not to love?

Anyway...I found the website for "RA Sushi" - http://www.rasushi.com/ and pulled it up to take a look. And I looked. And I looked...and I couldn't find anything to click except for "Get a RA Gift Certificate".

Really, it's obvious what they want you to do on the site...buy gift certificates. That, or join their email list.

I wanted neither.

I wanted restaurant locations! Menu! What about a happy hour? I couldn't find this anywhere. Even when the cursor turned to a pointy-finger, I clicked and nothing came up.

The background music is very soothing, but where's the beef?! Er...sushi?!

I was cursing the web designer under my breath when....I saw it. Wrapped subtlely around the RA Sushi logo, THERE were the links I was looking for.

Yes! They had an happy hour. Yes! The menu was online.

But...

When I clicked on the menu, there was no option to PRINT. What?!

Memo to restaurants: PEOPLE WANT TO PRINT YOUR MENUS! It's awfully cute and visually-appealing to put your menu in a scrolling Flash area, but I CAN'T PRINT THIS!

Nor can I copy and paste this in an email to my sushi-loving friends.

Nor can I post this on my food blog.

Nor can I tweet about this on Twitter.

Really, RA, you are shooting yourself in the foot. It's all very pretty and cute, but inevitably UNUSABLE.

I really hope your sushi is better than your website.

Canine Assault and Battery

2009-07-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

Once you have kids in your home, pets take backseat. It's unfortunate, but it just happens. But I had an experience yesterday that brought our beloved dog Murphy firmly back to the front seat.

We were taking our evening walk, and were almost back home, when we saw that two neighborhood dogs had gotten out (again) and were running free. They ran up to us to say "Hi". The Rottweiler came up to nicely and I remember thinking, "I'll just grab his collar and walk him back home."

Then looked over and saw my dog on the ground with the other dog's jaws wrapped around the scruff of her neck, shaking her back and forth. Murphy started yelping. My Mama Bear instinct kicked in and I dropped to my knees and started trying to pry them apart. I remember thinking, "Okay, this is exactly what you are NOT supposed to do when two dogs are fighting," especially because I was literally grabbing this dog's mouth and trying to pry it off Murphy!*

But Murph was in trouble and this lab was unrelenting. I popped the lab on the snout a few times. I grabbed his collar and tried to pull him off Murphy. His collar came over his head and in the process, made him release his hold. Then he decided he was done, because he popped up and ran away. Murphy got up slowly and gingerly walked down the sidewalk, giving a few yelps as she walked. I didn't want to run her home, for fear she was really hurt and running would make it worse, so I tried to calmly walk down the street.

I had this neighbor dog's collar still in my hand and didn't want it there, so we walked towards our neighbor's house. At that point, I realized then that my hand was bleeding. Somewhere in the middle of the tussle, I had gotten bitten. Wonderful. My neighbor was out in front of his house and I bluntly told him that one of his dogs had attacked my dog and bitten me. He reacted like it had happened before but was apologetic.

I brought Murphy in and checked her up and down. She had a lot of dog spit on her left shoulder, but no blood that I could see. I called the vet at and a kind staffer told me to keep an eye on her for strange behavior, lethargy or vomiting, but unless we saw that, just pamper her.

Later that evening, I decided to go wipe her face and mouth down, because it had gotten dirty during the tussle. I hadn't done this immediately because she was very freaked out and didn't want to be touched. Um yeah, I was too. I used my hands to put some pressure on her shoulders and neck to see if she was sore. Then I saw it....a red blossom of blood on her neck, closer to her chest than where I had seen the dog chomped down on her. Damn! She had gotten bitten. I investigated further and actually found a puncture hole. I grabbed my hubbie and we simultaneously soothed, disinfected and antibiotic'ed the wound. We had to cut quite a bit of fur away to see what we were doing.

I think she got about four biscuits during the course of the night. We all felt sorry for her and for dogs, food = comfort. She took them willingly, which (per the vet staffer) was a good sign.

I'm leaning towards taking her the vet today, just to get some reassurance that she doesn't need a stitch or two.

It's unfortunate that it takes a traumatic event like this for us to re-focus our attention on our family pet of 10+ years. If you have a family pet, give them a special hug and some attention today, and be glad that they had a boring day.

* Later that night, my husband reminded me what you are supposed to do: Get behind one of the dogs and pull them away by the tail. This was the last thing that would have come to my mind.

UPDATE 7/12/09: We ended up taking Murph to the Emergency Clinic on Saturday. Not because we thought she had an emergency, but because our vet and the two other vets close by were booked solid! $200 later, Murph has a shaved neck (very odd-looking on a husky), a disinfected bite wound, and 3 prescriptions (antibiotics, anti-inflammatories and pain killers). She has to have food with each of her prescriptions, so she is very happy about having all the snacks. And we are sure that she's okay, and that's well worth the cost.

Goofy Visits the Cable Store

2009-01-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

So I call up my buddies at Time Warner Cable to figure out how much blood I will need to shed in order for my new HDTV to actually get an HD signal. Surprise of surprises...it's FREE! I didn't think anything from the cable company was free! Not even their silly version of the TV Guide is free ($2.75 a month...ouch!)

All I need to do is disconnect my cable converter box, take it into the Time Warner store and exchange it for an HDTV converter box.

So I did. And this is what happened...

As I walk in the door, I notice a large gathering of customers, each clutching a different species of cable box in their hot little hands. I also notice a very-large-print sign on the door declaring that they are out of HD converter boxes and they won't have more until next week.

I ignore the sign. I take a number. I wait. I realize how heavy a cable converter box is.

Finally, my number is called.

Me: Hi! (smile and pause) I'm HOPING that you all have an HD converter box for me. (smile again, sweetly)

Time Warner Cable Girl: Um...that IS an HD converter box you have there. (points to the metal box in my hands)

Me: Um...NO! It's not.

TWCG: Yep. It is.

Me: No, it's not!! (what are you...stupid?) We've had this box for a year and a half! (No, I'm not sure what my logic was here, either)

TWCG: See the HDTV logo on the front. (points) You've already got one! (now she smiles sweetly)

Me: (stammering now) Well...why aren't we getting HDTV then!?!? (Huh? HUH??)

Me (answering my own question): Wait...Oh...yeah...we didn't get an HDMI cable yet...that's probably why. (starting to eat a nice-sized portion of crow now)

TWCG: Yes, you will need an HDMI cable. Just plug that in and....blah, blah, blah......

Me: (nodding, not listening to instructions because I'm feeling stupid now that I unplugged my HDTV box to go exchange it for another HDTV box...duh)

TWCG: Well, that was easy! Have a good day!

As I turn to leave, I notice that other folks in the cable waiting room are eyeing my HDTV box hungrily and realize that I have something that they cannot get until next week. I hug my HDTV box (!!) tightly, run to my car and speed off.

Ready for Christmas?

2008-12-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas trees decorated and lit...

Presents wrapped and under tree...

Santa Treasure Hunt gifts hidden and clues scattered throughout house...

Gobs of cookies baked (ginger snaps, spritz, nut butter balls and good ole chocolate chips)...

Stereo loaded with a wide mix of Christmas tunes...

Fridge packed with groceries procured from a noon-hour-fight-the-hungry-crowds grocery store trip...

Chinese menu at the ready (for dinner, of course)...

Bottle of Chardonnay chilling in the fridge...

Christmas may now begin...

Lil Goofy's Literature Hour

2008-11-17T10:12:00.001-08:00

Lil Goofy reads some selected passages from his favorite novel "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?"

(can you tell we read him this book EVERY night?)

Mmmmm....Banana Cake

2008-11-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

This weekend was filled with sugar. Filled! I had some bananas getting that lovely brown color that usually means I will be making Average Jane's Banana Bread soon, but instead I discovered a Banana Cake recipe. My sugar tooth was calling, so I tried it. Wowee! It's fabulous. And fairly easy, for a cake. Okay, you cheat and use a cake mix, but I'm not holding that against this delicious cake. Also, I'm a big cream cheese icing fan. I believe you could put cream cheese icing on a shoe and it would taste great. But it's much better on this great cake!

Banana Sour Cream Cake

1 pkg. (2-layer size) yellow cake mix
3 eggs
1 cup mashed ripe bananas (about 3)
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup oil
1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1 pkg. (16 oz.) powered sugar (about 4 cups)
1 cup walnut pieces, finely chopped

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Beat cake mix, eggs, bananas, sour cream and oil with mixer on low until moistened. Beat on medium 2 minutes. Pour into greased and floured 13x9 pan. Bake for 35 minutes or until toothpick in cake centered comes out clean. Cool cake completely in pan.

Beat cream cheese and butter with mixer on medium until blended. Gradually add sugar, beating well after each addition.

Remove cake from pan. Carefully cut cake crosswise in half using serrated knife.

Place 1 cake half, top-side down, on plate; spread top with frosting. Top with remaining cake half, top-side up. Frost top and sides.

Press nuts onto sides. Sprinkle a few on top if you're feeling sassy. Refrigerate leftovers.

Oh yeah...After making this on Friday, Goofy Junior and I went to a Cinnamon Roll class on Sunday and brought home two pans of cinnamon rolls.

We had to take turns peeling each other off the ceiling. Yowza!

Goofy Goes to "Fork & Screen"

2008-10-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a 'sneak peek' of AMC Theatres' new in-theatre dining concept, Fork & Screen, last night, and it is SPECTACULAR.

I'm also giving away coupons for free admission and more!

Read all about it here:
KC Word of Mouth

Brotherly Love

2008-10-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Awwwww...it warms my heart to see both of my boyz together - happily sharing the computer.

NOT!

The Great Escape

2008-10-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

Lil Goofy shows us how he gets out of his room after naptime.

Notice the "Aw, shucks" attitude after the escape.

NOTE: No toddlers were harmed during the filming of this video.

New Presidential Candidate!

2008-10-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

Check this out. She will certainly get my vote!

http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=357563&altf=Hppgz&altl=Hjsm

Lil G is a Boogie Machine

2008-09-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Not only does he dance in the car....

he also dances on the coffee table*...

but he's not so crazy about Pink...

*seriously, if a song comes on that he thinks is "danceable", he climbs up onto the coffee table and starts dancing. Yes, we have our own little Coyote Ugly dancer in training. I think I saw a tip jar there yesterday!

Woobie!

2008-08-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

So Lil G needed a "woobie"...otherwise known as a "lovie" or an "attachment object". Right about the time our pediatrician mentioned it, he latched onto one.

A small white stuffed dog. (Yes, that's Baby Tad mocking the stuffed dog!)

Great, right?

Er...not so fast there, Dr. Spock.

Problem was...this was Goofy Junior's little white stuffed dog. And not just ANY little white stuffed dogs..this was Mischa. The little white stuffed dog that we gave him right before we traveled to Russia for the first of three trips. The dog that I told him to hug when he missed us. The dog that I told him we could TELL when he hugged and would send him hugs back...yes, all the way across the world. Yes, I have a pretty wild imagination.

So when Lil G latched onto Mischa, Goofy Junior was pretty horrified. He tried to switch Mischa with the Big White Chicken (sitting in Baby Tad's lap in the pic above).

Lil G was not fooled. He wanted Mischa.

We tried to reason with Goofy Junior. He has 8,342 other stuffed creatures...couldn't he let Lil G "borrow" Mischa...just for a while?

Finally he relented. Whew!

What's ironic about this whole story is that of all the stuffed creatures we have, this one we got for FREE. From our bank, for crying out loud!

In the end, it all worked out well...and there was peace in the Goofy household. Aaaaaaaaaah.

Olympic Beach Volleyball Swimsuit too Small?

2008-08-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

No!

I am sick of hearing complaints about the Olympic beach volleyball women's "tiny" swimsuits.

Anyone who has ever actually, oh I dunno, PLAYED beach volleyball understands the reason.

The details...
- Loose swimsuit = chaffing + jiggling of the sisters upstairs
- More-coverage swimsuit = hot (it's fricking hard to MOVE in sand...hello?)
- One-piece swimsuit = restricted movement

In short, anything other than a skin-tight, small, two-piece suit will result in a distraction to the athlete. I'm sure some athletes would play naked if there wasn't a risk of sand in their girlie-bits. Been there. Owie!

Olympics!

2008-08-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

I really like the Olympics. They are so inspirational. The fact that someone has a dream and is so completely FOCUSED to spend so much time training for that dream just gets me.

I never cry at movies (nor a lot in real life), but when Michael Phelps took the podium to get his gold medal, I had a tear in my eye. He's 23 and this is his THIRD Olympics - he's been swimming since he was 11. His mom got him into swimming to "burn off his extra energy".

It's just so cool.

Dara Torres is racing right now. She is one year younger than me (she's 41) - the oldest swimmer to compete in the Olympics, ever. Have you seen her? Goodness...she's got the body of a 25 year old! It's all about focus and training. Oh, and she has a two-year-old little girl, did I mention that? She FINDS the time for her dreams. How cool is that?!?!

US just took silver, with Torres swimming the last leg - possibly breaking a record with her leg of the race.

What an inspiration!

What's For Dinner?

2008-08-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

First off, let me just say that the Goofy family eats out. A lot. We don't always eat OUT, but we bring carry-out home pretty often, so I suppose I should say that we don't really cook at home a lot.

However, since neither of us is gainfully employed at present, we figured we should probably eat in a bit more.

Sigh.

This has lead to a War of Wills between Number One Son (Goofy Junior) and I about what consitutes a "good meal".

Goofy Junior is not a big eater. One day he ate an English muffin for breakfast, a hot dog bun (sans dog) for lunch, and then wanted to get away with only eating a roll for dinner. And getting ice cream for dessert.

VIOLATION!!!! Call the Nutrition Police. In other words, he didn't get dessert.

Eating is one of those Parent Topics that is frustrating. You don't want to give your kids food hangups, but you can not MAKE a kid eat. You just can't. You also can't make them sleep or poop, but those things eventually happen, like it or not.

So we struggle with selecting foods for dinner that Goofy Junior (aka Picky McPicky) will eat. He is very much into the "look" of food. We had a Mushroom Lasagna the other night and he was freaked out about the "black things" (um, they are mushrooms!) in the lasagna. Arg! And I REFUSE to make two meals. Mr. Goofy chides me for this. But no, I will not make one meal for one picky kid and another for the rest of us. Life is too short for this.*

But in a moment of clarity and brillance, Mr. Goofy came up with an idea: We will let Goofy Junior select the dinner menu every so often.

I have to admit...I was a little scared about this. Our only constraint was that it had to be a nutritious meal (no ice cream and cake for dinner!).

He chose pretty well: Macaroni & Cheese, Carrots** & Dip, and Garlic Bread.

A little high on the carb scale, but not too shabby. GJ's dinner menu is served tonight.

Bon Appetit!

*Can I just confess right here that I (yes, me) was a super-duper picky eater when I was little? And my parents supported my habit. I didn't eat a salad until I was 25 years old. Never ate peanut butter - still to this day. And I still order my cheeseburgers plain...no ketchup, mustard, pickle, onion, etc. If it's on there, I can't eat it. I really don't want to raise another Me!

**from our garden!! Yippee!!

Goofy Gets Sirius

2008-07-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've been spending more time in my car, now that we have our new son home. (I know it doesn't make sense...more on this later*) What's driving me crazy is the state of terrestrial radio nowadays. If it's not some lame-ass DJ yammering about how guys are this horny and girls are always frigid, it's a commercial, or it's some whiny John Mayer song that I could care less about.

Ugh. It's simply painful.

For a Christmas gift, I bought Mr. Goofy a Sirius radio subscription and have benefited from the use of it while riding in his vehicle. I typically listen to audio books most the time I'm in my car, but with New Kid, I figure I better at least pretend to pay some attention to him (it's called "sarcasm" by the way, folks...)

Anyway, I finally had the last straw late last week and started looking for Sirius radios. Since Mr. Goofy has a subscription, it's a mere $6.99 per month for me to sign up. I scored last season's Sirius tuner on eBay for $56 (not too shabby - Sirius' price for the same model was $109).

...and I am waiting impatiently to get it. Yippee!!!! Good music! Jim Kramer on demand! Whee!

Yes, I am a Late Adopter. Late, but I get there eventually.

* Lil G LOVES to go! Anywhere. Price Chopper. Target. Garden Store. Post Office. It's all New! and Fun! for him. The Russian word for "Bye" is "Paka". After breakfast dishes are cleared, he starts pointing to the door and/or putting his shoes on, and saying "Paka!" "Paka!", as in "Let's go!"

He's definitely not a homebody! He's living it up now that he has two chauffeurs!

A Goofy Complaint

2008-07-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

A brief timeout from motherhood topics to lodge a complaint...

I love blogging. I love Twitter. I am able to keep tabs on friends that I don't see for months at a time with these tools. I also have made new friends. I'm also reading about people that don't even have a clue that I exist, yet they inspire and motivate me in one way or another, typically on a daily basis.

All these social media tools are wonderful additions to my life.

Yet....

I really miss the fine art of face-to-face conversation. Sitting down over a coffee, a beer, a glass of wine, dinner, a slice of pie (or preferably...all of the above!), and talking. Live. Chatting about the meaningless. Gabbing about the obscure. Deep discussion about the meaning of life.

Preferably without little kidlings interupting to tell me that they've recently farted.

Does anyone else miss this? Will there be a resurgence of the dinner party in response to all the "faceless" conversations we have on a daily basis? Or are they gone for good?

Is it just me or are we all missing out on something good?

Fun with Nicknames

2008-07-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

Over the past week-and-a-half (has it been that long already?!), we have come up with some nicknames for Lil G, based on his behaviors.

Here they are, in no particular order:

"The Closer" - If there is an open door in the house, Lil G will find it and close it. No, let me correct that...SLAM it. Closets, pantries, cabinets, refrigerators...they are all fair game. I go to take the milk out of the fridge. I turn around to put it back...and the door is closed and I hear little feet padding away. And giggling. You'd think this skill would be a good one. But I'm just waiting until we get locked out of our house by The Closer.

"The Flopper" - Lil G has got a will of iron. When his will is not served, he throws a tantrum. The tantrum consists of a full-out DIVE to the floor, where he lands on his belly and puts his hands over his eyes. The Flop is hilarious because it is usually silent. And no kicking. Just The Flop. We found out quickly that The Flop can easily be broken down with some strategic tickling....

"The Beast" - This was the first nickname he got. This kid eats like there is no tomorrow! He seriously eats TWICE as much as Goofy Junior, who is FIVE! And we have yet to find something he won't eat. Mexican, Indian, Chinese, American...he happily gobbles it all down. Spicy? No problemo. He chows it.

First thing in the morning, when The Beast awakens, he wants to go IMMEDIATELY downstairs and EAT. No stopping for a diaper change, a hug, or even to get dressed. This kid is HUNGRY! Is he skinny? Heck, no. He's a little chunk. But he is always eating. He yells and points excitedly when he sees food. He absolutely must have a snack between breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, and sometime before bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night. Why? The Beast needs something to eat! Milk usually does the trick quickly, thankfully.

"LL Cool G" - When we get in the car to drive, if there is music out that can be danced to, Lil G will start swaying, swinging his foot in circles, nodding his head, and raising his eyebrows. This combination is guaranteed to make even the most serious person bust a gut.

Check out the hilarity for yourself (make sure to watch the eyebrows!):

The Papparazzi Strikes!

2008-07-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Surf's up, Dude!

When's Dinner?

Me, cute? Nah...

Big Brother Alex loves his new "Toy"...

...but decides he needs some "ink" to be taken seriously. (no, that's not a pretty pink butterfly, it's a, um...dangerous stingray, yeah, that's what it is.)

But Going Well So Far....

2008-07-21T19:53:00.001-07:00

Okay, time to follow up my last "Trip from Hell" post with the "Things are Actually Going Well" post. Things ARE going well. With a few surprises!

First, we EXPECTED that Goofy Junior (now 5) would have some jealousy issues when we brought home Lil G (2 years old). Of course, Lil G will require a bit more supervision than Goofy Junior, and thus, more attention. Knowing this, we both decided to set aside some "One on One" time with Goofy Junior and us. But... as it turned out, Goofy Junior has turned into a Lil G "Stalker". The first morning, Goofy Junior really, really wanted to wake up Lil G. "NO!" we declared. He ended up doing it by repeatedly going into Lil G's room.

Then he proceeded to grab Lil G's hand and take him for the house tour. Then the playroom for some play time (first time Goofy Junior's feet have entered the playroom in like 6 months!). He was very controlling of Lil G...up to the point of wanting to do EVERYTHING for him.

This was not the issue we thought we would have, so we had to change gears quickly. We reminded Goofy Junior that WE were the Mommy and Daddy. WE would take care of telling Lil G what to do, etc. This did not go over well, but eventually sunk in. I think we are at a happy medium now...

On the flipside, Lil G IDOLIZES Goofy Junior. Watches his every move. Follows him. Goofy Junior goes up the steps, Lil G goes up the steps. Did I mention that Lil G has never seen steps before? EEK! We were sure we would be making a trip to the local emergency room this weekend, but low and behold, as it turns out, Goofy Junior is a fairly good role model!

Regarding our dog Murphy, we decided that we would make this introduction informal. We would go get Murphy, let her do her thing around the house (which is mainly sleep nowadays) and if Lil G encountered her, he would figure she was just one more acoutrament in our household. Um, yeah, this didn't go the way we expected either. The first time Lil G saw Murphy, he audibly GASPED. He said, "ABAKA-DOH!!" repeatedly, then muttered some more Russian that we don't know, while backing up in the opposite direction.

Then he stepped forward and petted her.

Then backed up, muttered another "ABAKA-DOH!" and more disgruntled Russian mutterings.

Once we stopped our uncontrollable laughter with this weird behavior, we realized that we had a Love/Hate relationship brewing. He was scared, yet he was curious. And quite frankly, Murphy could care less. She doesn't antagonize him, but she doesn't avoid him either. And it still makes us laugh when he rounds the corner and comes face-to-face with her, and gasps. She's not a threat to him...he just doesn't realize it yet.

So it's gone well so far. He is sleeping through the night, although he wakes up about 6:30am, which is damn early. He eats like a beast. He does have little two-year-old temper tantrums, but we are pretty practiced at ignoring those that he is realizing that he is getting nowhere with those.

Yeah, things are going well....so far.

Trip From Hell...But We Have our Angel Now

2008-07-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

We are home now with the newest member of the Goofy family - Lil' Goofy. We traveled last week to Russia to pick him up, get his passport and visa, get him a physical, and bring him home.

The trip started badly. Our flight to Russia went well, but when we arrived in Moscow, expecting to have the day in a hotel for a shower, nap and some relaxation, we were told that, no, we were being taken directly to the train station. For a 10-hour wait (!!!) for our 12:30am train the next morning. WTF? We protested a bit, but decided the travel arrangers must know what they are doing. In hindsight, hell NO, the travel arrangers most definitely did NOT know what they were doing. Ugh. Those are 10 hours that I want back! We were bored silly after the first hour. I still don't know how we did it.

Anyway, fast forward to picking up Lil G. He was happy to see us, and we had a great visit. When it came time to leave, we carried him outside to the car. Our driver was putting some items into the trunk. Lil G saw this and started crying. Once we assured him (with gestures and our very bad Russia) that he was NOT riding in the trunk, he settled down and did great on the drive.

After we boarded the train back to Moscow, we quickly found out that our train car did NOT have air conditioning. It was around 86 degrees. All we had was a window that we could open about 6 inches. Lil G was a happy camper in just diaper and shorts, but we were miserable, since we did not think to pack any shorts. It was a long night, but Lil G slept through and woke up happy.

We got to our Moscow hotel, checked in, and rushed off to get Lil G his physical. (NOTE: At this point, we had still not had a shower since leaving home...going on 3 days!) He giggled through the whole thing, as Dr. Boris declared, "this one will be breaking hearts soon." We headed back to the hotel and Lil G took a 4-hour nap.

Little did we know it was all a set-up for the hell we were about to enter.

The trip ended worse than it started. Fast-forward to our flight back to the states. Lil G got a little crabby on the way to the airport. It was a long drive, being a Friday, during morning rush hour in Moscow. He whined a bit, but when we got out of the van, he was happy and curious again.

We boarded the plane, thinking that surely he would nap. It was naptime, he had been on-schedule the entire trip so far. There was no reason to think he wouldn't.

You see it coming, doing you? We sure didn't.

The flight was pure, unadulterated HELL. Yes, in ALL CAPITALS. If there was ever a time I wanted to open my brain up and erase a 17-hour block of time, this would win, hands-down.

One hour into the flight, the diarrhea started. In total, we went through 4 diapers and one entire set of clothes on a 10-hour flight. Yeah..."ew" just doesn't really do it justice. And the clothes-splattering blowout occurred right during a "stay in your seat, there is turbulance" announcement. I explained the situation and the flight attendant let me into the bathroom, where we bumped and bounced around, trying to control damage from the diaper explosion and get some new clothes on.

He did NOT end up falling asleep until the final hour of the flight, after basically screaming for the preceding hour. The screaming resulted in a nose-bleed, complete with blowing blood out his nose onto everything, as he tried to catch his breath.

We didn't know what to expect as we carried our screaming, crying child off the plane. Thankfully the other passengers parted the way to let us through.

How did it end? Well, after we went through Passport Control and got our bags, we again had a smiling, happy perfect angel-child.

What did we do? We got our hopes up again for the final 2-hour flight back home. And yes, half-way through the flight the crazy-child, complete with yet another poopy diaper (how much poop can one child produce?!) appeared again.

We are home now and all this is starting to become a distant memory. After documenting this here, I plan on promptly forgetting this 17-hour block of time and replacing it with some of the many giggling, happy-child memories that I now have.

Case Closed.

Quick Status of Russia Trip

2008-07-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

We picked up Christopher on Tuesday! He has been such a good traveler. He didn't like the car at first (I suspect because the trunk was open and he might have thought that was where he would be riding), but quickly calmed down and started looking at everything out the window, once we got moving. Of course, he did not sleep the entire 3-hour drive back to our region. On the overnight train back to Moscow, he was so much fun. He started talking (although we couldn't understand him) and pointing to the other trains. We all slept very well on the train. All night long even. Very cool!

He had his physical today. Dr. Boris pronounced him healthy, and said that he would be breaking little girls' hearts very soon. I do believe he is right. In the mother of all coincidences, there was a boy from Christopher's orphanage at the medical center for his physical on the same day! They acted like they recognized each other - wonder if they were pals?

We have our Embassy interview tomorrow and then come back to KC on Friday.

So it's all going well so far. Will post more stories and pics when we get home and settled.

We are Back!

2008-07-07T14:11:00.001-07:00

Well, hopefully you've been following our progress in Russia on Adventure Bound. If not, get over there and read up! I'll wait....

Okay, so we got back into KC last night around 10:30pm. Because of storms in Atlanta, flights were backed up, so the Atlanta passport control, customs, and the terminal in general were packed! We couldn't even find two empty seats in ANY of the gates to sit in - we ended up sitting on the floor by the wall of the main corridor. Which made for great people-watching! Anyway...when we finally got a seat in our gate, we found out our flight was one hour late. I should emphasize ONLY one hour - lots of folks had it worse.

We went and did what good red-blooded Americans do after returning from overseas - we had some hot dogs & fries. Yum.

Our family and our son Alex were waiting for us when we deplaned in KC. Yippee! We came home and went to bed. Alex & I actually fell asleep on the car ride home.

Our internal clocks are still wrong (the clock says 4:00pm, but to us it's 1:00am Moscow time). So I'm going off to nap now. Will post more gory details later!

Greetings from Russia!

2008-07-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

Since Mr. Goofy did such an excellent job of posting already, I'll let him speak for the both of us today.

Check it out here: Adventure Bound

Quick note: Up to this point, I have been feeling a bit nervous about this trip. But I woke up early this morning and had some time to think. I realized that I should be feeling excited and happy. We are bringing our new son home soon, for crying out loud!

Yes, it's intimidating to be in a foreign country, where you need to think before you speak, in order to be understood. But by focusing on the wrong stuff, I was bringing myself down.

Anyway, I needed to kick myself in the pants a bit. I think it worked. More on Friday or Saturday, after court.

Back in the (Country Formerly Known as) the USSR

2008-06-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

We are leaving Monday to begin the process of adopting our new son and bringing him home. The pace will be fast and furious. Once we reach Moscow (Tuesday) we will be poked and prodded by Russian doctors to make sure we are fit to be parents. We have heard that we will be seeing about 10 doctors for about 2 minutes each. Most Russian docs have a speciality, so we will be seeing not only a General Practitioner, but also an Infectionist, a Neurologist, a Pulmonologist, a Narcologist, and (believe it or not) a Dermatologist. Obviously the medical system is very different in Russian than in the US.

If we are pronounced "fit", we will travel overnight by train to our region. There we will have just one visit with our almost-son (a fun 6-hour round trip by car), then it's off to court on July 4th.

Court is what I am most anxious about. I remember court from four years ago, when we adopted Alex. Court is intimidating. Our judge was a large, stern lady, who didn't crack a smile - even when she granted us custody of Alex. She did not speak English - we worked through an interpreter. At one point, there was some discussion about a document that was not filed correctly. Not our fault at all, but we got the impression that the court clerk was getting her ass chewed, in Russian of course. We laughed about it later, but didn't dare even grin at the time.

We are told court in this new region lasts about 3 hours. What will they ask us? Hopefully nothing too hard!

We are bringing along a letter from our pediatrician to ask to get the 10-day waiting period* waived. We did this with Alex and it was waived quickly. But that was a different region and a different time. This region typically does not waive the 10 days. But...what if they do? Then we will be bringing home our son about two weeks earlier than planned. Eeek! We will have to think on our feet if this happens, but it would be a good problem to have.

What we expect is that they will not waive the 10 days, and we will have to head back home after court. Then a week later, we will repeat the 11+ hour journey to go pick up our then-official son.

That trip is cake. No intimidating judges, no poking and prodding, just paperwork and bonding time. We get him a passport (Russian), get him a visa, visit the Embassy to emigrate him, and we are off. Then our main job is keeping him comfortable on all the legs of the journey back: car, train and plane. All of which will be brand new to him and probably overstimulating for someone whose world has been a large room with 15 other kids his age and two female adult caregivers.

Then, when we all get home, the real adventure begins...

* A period of time in which the judgement can be appealed. Sometimes waived if the child has medicial issues that require doctor's care.

Anxiety Update!

2008-06-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well, about two hours after my last post, I not only got a call from our adoption agency with a court date (July 4th), but I also got a call from Mr. Goofy that he had passed his kidney stone.

So no more wondering about when we are going to travel, and no more worrying about a kidney stone removal procedure and recovery time.

Sometime things work out well, even when you just know they won't.

Anxiety can be Fun!

2008-06-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

It has now been two months since our first trip to Russia to meet our new son. We still have not gotten a call back with a court date. It should be any day now. Do I feel ready? NO. Am I eager to get this now two-years-and-counting process done? YES. These are weirdly conflicting feelings.

Also, in this time between first trip to Russia and second trip to Russia, Mr. Goofy decided to find a new job. Since starting a new job, then saying, "Seeya, I gotta run off to Russia for about 3 weeks" would be pretty rude, he won't be starting new job until after we are back. But his last day at old job is tomorrow. Think about that. As of this Friday, no member of the Goofy household will be reliably income-producing. Am I scared about this? Actually no. My little stock trading hobby is helping quite nicely along those lines.

And, just in case I was starting to feel comfortable with the chaos mentioned above, Mr. Goofy's kidney has decided to produce another stone. A big one. One that is stubbornly stuck just before falling into his bladder - kinda like a little kid too scared to dive into the pool. If the stone doesn't take the plunge by Friday morning, Mr. Goofy's urologist plans to go in and get it. You really don't want to know how this is done.*

Oh yeah, and I'm working on our 2007 taxes today. We had to get an extension because we busy getting ready for our Russia trip and couldn't get them in on time.

Calgon? Please get me outta here!

*If you really, really do want to know, check this out: http://www.dentonurology.com/urs.html

Tuesday Randomness

2008-06-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday and I declare it Random Thought Day. Here's mine:

1. Finally...after four years and about eleven chiropractic interns (seriously), I think something is working! Chiro Intern #10 broke his wrist, so I saw the on-call this Monday. He did something called the Thompson Technique. I heard no pops. It felt pretty lame, really. But then I got up from the table and things felt different. I actually felt out of balance. Probably because I was in balance after being out for so long. Later in the day I was walking Murphy and I realized "my back doesn't hurt AT ALL!" This was huge, as I haven't had a minute of relief for four years. Of course, the pain came back that night, but I can't help but be optimistic.

2. I've never seen the benefit of having a food processor, until tonight. I bought a great one on sale at Target like last month. I've been too intimidated to use it. The whole "gotta read the instruction manual" really irks me. But I used it tonight to make some Spinach Lasagna*. This thing rocks! I actually screamed for joy! Now I can make my own Salsa! And Hummus! And Bean Dip! Look out!!

3. Our neighbors across the street have been taken to court by their next-door neighbors for 'harrassment'. What could they possibly achieve by going to court!?!? It's not like either one of them are going to move. Are they looking for money? A judgement to prove that one of them is "right" and the other "wrong"? I don't understand. Seems like our court system should be used for more important stuff.

4. I am so NOT looking forward to being in Russia for 20+ days. The region we are going to always requires that the adopting family stay for a 10-day 'waiting period' after court, supposedly in case a wayward relative decides to come forward and challenge the adoption. We know for a fact that the child we are adopting has no living relatives. Why are we stuck in Russia so long? If it was just Mr. Goofy and I, it would be great. A mini-adventure. However, leaving Goofy Junior for that long makes my heart hurt. Ouch.

5. Mr. Goofy quit his job today. He was going to wait until Friday, but the events of the day simply required the "Take this Job and Shove it" approach. He has another job waiting for him, but he is going to wait until we are back from Russia to start. So we will be eating Beans & Rice and Rice & Beans for a while. But I can make Bean Dip now! (see Item #2)

6. Just finished "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer. Awesome read! I made the mistake of starting her "Twilight" series, so three more books are in my future. I started "Odd Hours" last night, book four of Dean Koontz's "Odd Thomas" series about a guy that sees dead people. Really!

*with spinach from our home garden! Squee!!!

Thing That Drives Me Crazy #732

2008-05-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

Companies that use cute phrases instead of numbers for their phone number in marketing materials:

Like...
1-800-EAT-CAKE
1-866-BUY-GUNK
1-888-HOO-TERS

This strategy used to be helpful. If I forgot my favorite bakery's phone number, I could remember "EAT CAKE", convert the letters to numbers and bingo! I'm ordering my brownies.

However, recently two problems have popped up that put a big wrench in this marketing strategy:
1) multiple toll-free prefixes
2) mobile phones

Item 1) simply confuses the issue. Even if I remember "EAT CAKE", I have to remember whether the prefix is "800" or "866" or "888". Or maybe just try them all. Kinda defeats the purpose of the cute name. And starts the crazy-driving process.

Item 2) has two sub-problems:
a) Why would I need to remember a phone number? If this is indeed my favorite bakery, I'm damn-well going to have the number on speed-dial, or in my Contacts (if I have a cool PDA phone). Who actually memorizes a phone number anymore?
b) All the mobile phones I've owned do not have the corresponding letters on the phone-dialing number keys! Can you tell this is the problem I've had recently? You saw it coming, didn't you? When this happens, I am dead in the water. I cannot dial the number until I look on a land-line phone or surf the Internet for "phone keypad letters" (Thank the gods for Wikipedia, yet again!)

Give me numbers, not cute phrases!

The Goofy Vegetable Garden: An Epic Adventure

2008-05-26T18:55:00.001-07:00

It started out as a simple plan....teach Goofy Junior how seeds grow into plants.

The mission: Grow some easy vegetables in our backyard.

The victims: Broccoli, Spinach, Bush Beans, Peppers, Carrots

(I found out later that these aren't the usual "beginner" vegetables - oops!)

NOTE: We took a tip from Jerry Baker's "Fast, Easy Vegetable Garden" and soaked our seeds overnight in a mixture of weak tea, liquid dish soap, Listerine (non-mint).

Next, we very carefully planted the seeds into small peat pots. We quickly filled the two 72-pot trays that we had purchased and had to run out and buy two more 72-pot trays.

This should have been my first clue that the project had already gotten out of control. But Goofy Junior was digging it, so we continued...

Already, the squirrels were gathering and chuckling their evil laughs, "Ha-ha! Soon the vegetables will be ours! Bah-ha-ha! I call dibs on the spinach!"

Soon the seeds in the little peat pots were sprouting. The question arose, "Where in the hell are we going to plant these things?!"

So a site was quickly identified:

(Child included for scale only. He looks like he would be helpful, but he just wanted to play with the "cute" grubs. Ew!)

NOTE: Man, sod is hard to get up when it's attached to the ground! Much Advil was required for aching back after this stage was complete.

Raised beds were requested by Mr. Goofy. This required a trip to the Big Box Hardware Store for the purchase of large quantities of wood. But wait!!!! Lowe's did not carry the suggested cedar in 2' x 16' planks. Of course not. So we had to buy fir. Fir?!?! BTW, fir must be water-proofed if used outside. Of course.

Also, because of the length we had to buy, this increased our beds from 5' x 5' to 6' x 6'. ARG! More digging. More Advil.

Then ensued much cutting and staining/waterproofing of the wood....

Are we done yet???

Whee....that smell makes me feel all goofy inside...

...meanwhile, the seeds (now plants!) were waiting patiently indoors:

"Boy, it sure looks nice outside. Why are we still stuck inside this freaking basement?"

"I don't know, but quit pushing me!"

"Step off! You pushed me first!! Have some manners!"

Then I did my best impression of Ty Pennington and constructed the boxes that would be sunk into the ground to surround the raised vegetable beds.

I love power tools!

Four cubic yards of soil/compost mix and a half-bottle of Advil later, we were ready to plant our little darlings....

But hold that spade!!!! We then had 3 days of crazy-freaky storms, with 70 mph winds. I didn't want to plant our precious veggies and have them end up down the block. So we waited....

...and waited....

Finally, we were able to plant our veggies.

Done.

What?!?!? You have to water these things!?!? Groan.

The Lemon Pie Incident

2008-05-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

Mr. Goofy & I know another couple that is as crazy about food as we are. If we hear about a new restaurant, we grab them and go. Recently, all of us have been a little tired of eating out. I think the strain on our pocketbooks was showing. Also, with Goofy Junior, there would have to be a sitter involved and that requires planning ahead. Something we are not great at.

So...we started a dinner club of sorts. Mr. Goofy cooked first. The other couple (let's call them Mr. C & Ms.C) brought wine & dessert. It went smashingly! We all had a great time, Goofy Junior went to bed, and we continued to have a great time. There was talk of doing it again and even talk about playing bridge at some point (Mr. C knows bridge, and Mr. Goofy & I are card fanatics).

This past Saturday was Ms. C's turn to cook. She made a yummy walnut-fig-kalamata olive spread with pita for appetizer. Then a delish shrimp with creamy sauce over pasta dish for dinner. I was in charge of wine & dessert. I chose two Chardonnays (one $16 and one $6, just to be goofy - we all liked the $16 and not so much the $6).

The dessert was to be Average Jane's Lemon Chiffon Pie. I've made it before and it's super easy and super delicious. Plus, a perfect, lighter dessert would go well with the creamy shrimp.

I started making it during Spectacular Spider-Man on Saturday morning. I got to the filling part, which is eggs, various lemon parts, sugar and cornstarch. The cornstarch thickens the filling, eventually to the consistency of gravy. That's how you know you are ready to put it into the pie shell.

Well, two Spider-Men (Mans?) later, plus a Mrs. Spider's Sunnypatch something-or-other later, still no gravy! I remembered this part taking about 10 minutes the previous time. I was looking at 30 minutes already! I added some more cornstarch. No dice. I removed the filling from the heat, thinking maybe it would thicken upon cooling. No love.

I finally gave up looking for gravy after about 40 minutes and just put the filling in the shell and cooked the pie. I blame the whole thing on old cornstarch, although the true cause will remain a mystery.

Well, when it came out of the oven, it was jiggly. Very jiggly. Pamela Anderson-jiggly.

I figured it would settled once it cooled. Nope.

I put it in the fridge for an hour. Did it thicken? Nope.

So what did I do? I FROZE it.

And guess what? It was delicious! Ms. C & I had two slices each. And it made for an interesting dinner story, to boot.

Who says I can't be creative?

Multi-Level Madness

2008-05-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

If you ever have a friend or co-worker invite you to lunch because they want to talk to you about "a new exciting project that they are working on that they want to tell you about" or "that you might be interested in", just run. Run. Fast.

Jeez. You would think I would see the signs. But no, this happened again last night.

Another MLM (multi-level marketing) pitch.

I got a free dinner, yes. But I also got an hour-and-a-half long pitch about becoming a representive for a company that would 'build my financial independence'. *

Of course it all sounds good. They learn scripts for these sorts of things.

Then I got home an did the obligatory Internet search for the company name + 'scam'. Oh, lookey there, 8 links! All from previous "representatives". And all scathing.

At least I got a free dinner.

* I won't mention the company here, because I really don't want to attract THAT sort of linky love. No thanks.

OMG...the weirdest dream EVER.

2008-05-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I had this dream last night. It was bizarre and weird to the extreme.

I was going to a new doctor for some reason. A physical, maybe? I mentioned the weird back/hip pain that I've been having for like the past four years or so.

The doctor looked at my right knee and found...screws behind my right knee. (why did I never see these before!?) He unscrewed the two screws behind my each side of right knee (and two more he found by my right ankle) and took off the outside of my right leg. There was room for storage in there. What was there? Well, electronics. Obviously, I'm bionic. LOL. But on top of the bionic stuff was....a tray of Mrs. Fields cookies. WTF?

Of course, they were stale, but the doctor ate one anyway.

Like I said, this was one weird dream.

Then, of course, he found the same screws on my left leg, and removed a similar panel from this side, revealing a similar storage area. What was there? Well, to start with, a "Who Sunk My Battleship?" game, already in progress, with all the accompanying pieces, and about a dozen small ball-peen hammers (???).

I can't remember all the stuff that was stored in my legs, but I remember thinking, "This stuff is all from the late 80's. I can't remember putting it there, but I must have. I've been walking around with all this baggage from way back THEN???!!!"

I remember thinking, "Wow! I've been walking around with all this BAGGAGE all this time. It will be so nice to get rid of all this stuff and be lighter". Significance? I dunno. Am I ditching some emotional baggage now that I've been carrying for some time? Dream interpreters, please let me know!

On a related note: I realized when I woke up from this bizarro dream that the right side of my head was facing upwards. (I was laying with my left side on the pillow) Usually, when I dream really creative/bizarre dreams, the right side of my head is upwards, like this. When I have more practical, day-to-day dreams, the left side of my head (brain?) is facing upwards.

Does anyone ever have this same thing occur? Pay attention next time you have a weird (or not weird) dream and let me know. Maybe I'm just imagining this...

p.s. I should mention that right before I went to bed, I watched "Battlestar Galactica", you know...the show where Cylons (robots) look just like humans? And also that I'm reading Stephanie Meyer's newest book "The Host", which is about alien life-forms inhabiting human bodies, while the souls within them are still present. Might explain some of the weirdness.

Goofy + 31,000 Other People...

2008-05-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

went to visit Warren Buffet and his Merry Berkshire Hathaway Festival of Capialism. Yes, I scored the tickets on eBay and they actually let me in to the Shareholder Meeting. Me and 31,000 of my closest friends. Buffet's fan(atics) filled the Qwest Center, and then some.

Having gotten some last minute intel from GA, I showed up at 7:10am for the 8:30am meeting. Being just me, myself and I, I scored a pretty good seat about 5 rows from the floor, on the aisle. Again, on intel from GA (thanks buddy!), I had my binoculars, so I did some intensive people watching until the show started.

I had a great conversation with very smartly dressed lady who has been coming to Warren's annual party for the past FIFTEEN YEARS. Dude! We discussed how this was probably the only event in the Qwest Center where you could "save" your seat by simply draping a newspaper over the seat and leaving. People did this! They showed up, draped the newspaper, then went and got breakfast or visited the exhibition hall. Then about 8:00am, they came back...and their seats were still there!! She also mentioned that people bring their purchases from the exhibition hall back to their seats and leave those too, when they take a potty break.

This kinda restored my faith in the human race. A tiny bit.

All in all, the BRK shareholders are pretty fine peeps. Generally older than me, there were a lot of grey-haired couples, in sweater vests and trousers, looking very dapper and buying lots of peanut brittle.

WTF? Yes, peanut brittle! See's Candies is one of BRK companies. At the exhibition hall, I circled their (giant!) booth like 3 times, looking for an opening to buy some candy. But I was DENIED. 8 rows deep was the line to check out! For candy!

I kinda like these folks....

As far as racial diversity, there was some, but not really representative of the general population, IMHO. I saw many Asians, lots of Germans, some Hispanics and Indians, but I was hard pressed to find any Black folks. ??? I pondered this way too long before deciding that, well, the companies that BRK owns maybe just don't really market towards that population. I guess. Once I noticed this lack of diversity, it was hard to overlook.

As far as male/female ratio, I was pleasantly surprised. There was pretty many women there. Probably because of the aforementioned 'couple' thing.

At the exhibition hall, I got my picture taken at the GEICO booth on a way-cool motorcycle, and flirted with the Fruit of the Loom fruit guys (the purple grape guy was especially cute).

And, the highlight of my day...I saw my personal hero, Tim Ferriss, author of "The 4-Hour Workweek". He was sitting in my section! I did one of those, "is that HIM? Is it? Nah. Hmmm... Yes! It's him! Oh shit. Do I go say something? What?!?!" I was chicken and didn't approach him. Then read on his blog the next day how he was nervous about the possibility of meeting Warren Buffet and how he prepared his elevator speech, just in case.

Lesson learned. Next year I will prepare for the impossible.

Saturday night was the big Beach Party. Food, music and lots of Buffet fans, in the Nebraska Furniture Mart parking lot. As it turned out, this was the longest line of the day! These folks wanted a damn $5 taco, and were willing to wait in line for it. Quite a long line...

We passed and ended up in the hotel room with pizza and wine and "Chronicles of Narnia". All in all, and fine ending to the weekend.

So, did I learn anything that will make me piles of cash in the next year? Well, sadly no. Did I experience something that lots of people don't and that I may not again my in lifetime. Yes!

And that, my friends...is priceless.

In Which I Score Big on eBay

2008-04-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

I love eBay. I have bought a LOT of stuff on eBay. I have sold a LOT of stuff on eBay. I love the 'thrill of the hunt' and sniping something away from another poor schmuck in the last 7 seconds of an auction. I've gotten quite good at it.

But I was denied today. DENIED. But it all turned out well. I love when that happens!

I was bidding on a set of Berkshire Hathaway 2008 Shareholder Meeting tickets this afternoon... What's that? You're wondering why in the world would I want these? Well, my friend... Mr. Buffet (as in Warren, not Jimmy) throws quite the party bash for his shareholders. We are talking a weekend of pure capitalist fun in Omaha, including a cocktail reception Friday, a Baja Beach Bash on Saturday night (2007's bash included the other Mr. Buffet - Jimmy!), and exclusive shareholder shopping day on Sunday and a DAY-LONG Q&A period with Mr. B and his crew. I heard from someone who's been there that it's better than an MBA.

...which sounds like a blast to me. I know, I'm a weirdo.

So, if you own at least one share of BRK stock, you get two tickets for free. The problem? The stock is currently trading at $4387 per share. No, I didn't forget a decimal point. Four GRAND and change = Too rich for me.

Luckily, Mr. B is generous and gives away some tickets each year at a nominal fee.

Which leads us back to this afternoon. I had found the tickets on eBay and was bidding. There was not too much action on the auction, so I wasn't worried (first bad sign). I waited until about 30 seconds were left in the auction and jumped in at $20 for two tickets. I was the high bidder for about 3 seconds, then I wasn't. ARG! I showed my hand too early! I tried to quickly re-bid at $26, was denied, and the auction ended. The tickets sold for $30.

Damn! I had really counted on winning the tickets. So I looked at my "Sorry you're a big fat loser" email auto-generated by eBay, and looked for 'similiar auctions'.

Lo and behold, there it was! A link to tickets offered directly from BH. No auction required, just "Buy it Now" for $3. SCORE!

So I lost, but then I won and saved $27 in the process. I love a happy ending! Squee!

The Name Game - Part Two

2008-04-08T14:58:00.000-07:00

Before we traveled to meet New Kid, I wrote about potential issues with names. Since New Kid comes "complete with name" we needed to decide if that name would "work" in the US.

As it turns out, his given name is Sergei. Not a bad name. It would work in the US with no problems. However, here's the rub: the kid does NOT look like a "Sergei".

I imagine a "Sergei" as a dark, swarthy, handsome and mysterious dude. New Kid is not that, even accounting for the fact that it's hard to be dark and mysterious when you're only two years old.

He is blonde. He has blue eyes. I just can't channel "Sergei" from that.

So the Name Chase has begun. We have a few potentials, but not many. Most the names we like are now attached to one of Alex's schoolmates. And typically not in a good way, if you get my drift.

Before we knew his name, we discussed coming up with something that sounds similar, since he knows his name currently. This would confuse him less. Hopefully.

Two problems with this:
(1) What in the hell sounds like "Sergei"?
Fergie? Surrey? Suri?!

(2) Russians don't typically use their kids' given names in everyday conversations. They are very big on nicknames.
I didn't hear anyone in the baby home ever call him "Sergei". That's too formal for kids. Sergei's nickname is "Seregozha". Huh? It took us two days to get the proununciation right. I'm not even trying to match that with another name.

I'm thinking "Bob" sounds about right at this point...

Cookies Make the World Go 'Round

2008-04-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

We met with New Kid three times last week: Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

On Wednesday (our first meeting), New Kid did not want to have anything to do with Mr. G. Typically all the staff in the Russian baby homes are female, so this was to be expected. Mr. G belonged to a new and unusual species, of which New Kid had never seen before. He kept a close eye on Mr. G and wouldn't let him get too close. At one point he actually pushed Mr. G away!

On Thursday, we were determined to have New Kid do a little more interaction with Mr. G. New Kid was playing with some blocks, so Mr. G moved up slowly and sat behind him. You could tell that New Kid was still not digging this. We decided a little movement was in order.

I took one of New Kid's hands, Mr. G took the other and we started walking around the room. After a few steps, New Kid pulled his hand away from Mr. G....Darn!

Then New Kid walked over to the table in the room, that just so happened to have a tin of butter cookies in it, from lunch. He stopped in front and stared at the cookies. I smelled opportunity...

Mr. G got a cookie, showed it to New Kid, then sat down and pulled New Kid onto his lap. And started feeding him bits of cookie. There was no whining! And no crying! New Kid happily munched his cookie, possibly thinking, "Hmm....I kinda like this new species. Yum!"

A little while later, we saw New Kid's first smile (of many to come!). And after this, New Kid's fear of Mr. G simply disappeared.

Looks like we will be stocking some butter cookies in the Goofy pantry from now on...

We are Home!

2008-04-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh...it's so nice to be home. We were able to adjust our flights so that instead of getting home Sunday at 6:00pm, we actually flew to Chicago last night and got in this morning around 10:00am. This gives us an almost-whole day at home before the real week starts.

In the process of changing flights, we got bumped up to Business Class on Lufthansa. Let me tell this, this was kick-ass! More leg room than my living room and the seats have their own remote control that allows you to adjust almost everything. This includes a feature to make the seat lay all the way down into a bed. Flat! Which is pretty cool for a > 9 hour flight. Oh yeah, and there were about 20 movies to choose from. I had to keep my eyelids propped open to finish the two movies I wanted to watch ("National Secrets - Book Two" and "Golden Compass", if you're curious). And the food? Let's just say between us we had smoked trout, veal, lamb and tillapia. And tiramisu for dessert. On an airplane. Whoda thunk it? Oh, and the free wine (6 choices!) wasn't bad either.

I'll post more later - it's about midnight for me body-clock-wise, and we still have a dog to pick up and laundry to do.

Our Own Amazing Race!

2008-04-04T00:15:00.001-07:00

Well, we finally made it to Russia. We have not had much spare time at all since we arrived.

Right out of the gates, things went wrong. Our flight from KC to Chicago was delayed FOUR HOURS because of thunderstorms in Chicago. And this is after getting to KCI TWO HOURS early (suggested for an international flight). Of course it took us only 15 minutes to check in.

I love sitting in airports waiting, don't you? GAH!!!!

Okay, so we finally got to Chicago. We thought MAYBE our flight to Munich would be delayed in leaving because of the weather. Nope. It left without us. RATS!

So another THREE HOURS waiting in Chicago for the next flight to Munich.

On the Munich flight they played two movies that you wouldn't want to watch before going to adopt: "Martian Child" (single guy adopts really weird child) and "August Rush" (mom thinks her son was born dead, but in reality he is alive and homeless). Both great movies, but I really wanted to get my mind OFF adoption. "Golden Compass" would have been about my speed.

So we get to Munich, wait only ONE HOUR this time, and jump onto our plane to Moscow.

Because of all the delays, when we reached Moscow, our poor driver had to drive really, really fast to get us to the train station for our overnight train to our region. No nap. No snack. No change of clothes in Moscow.

We finally got some down-time on the train. The train was cool. We had a sleeper cabin with two bunks (Ah....we got to actually lie down to sleep. Yeah!) and a small table. We had dinner in our cabin - yummy.

We slept well and in the morning we were in our region. Instead of going directly to a hotel to, I don't know...SHOWER, we headed straight for the Ministry of Education to get details about our referral child.

Only after this did we get to our hotel. For an hour. We showered, then jumped into our driver's car for a THREE HOUR trip to the baby home.

Yeah...and that was just the first two days.

More later....

Delayed!

2008-03-31T09:20:00.000-07:00

Chicago has thunderstorms…we boarded the plane, then got back off. Probably an hour’s delay. Just enough to make us worried about connections. Our travel agent says "no worries" but who knows?

I already have a headache and there’s 15 hours to go. Ugh.

And We're Off...

2008-03-30T18:50:00.001-07:00

The visas are here. The airplane tickets are in hand. The bags are packed. The grandparents have arrived. We are about as ready as we will ever be.

We don't know anything about potential new son. We don't know if our laptop will work in the region. We don't know if the train is heated or not. We don't know if we will have an extra day in Moscow or not. We don't know much.

I think ignorance is bliss in this situation.

Luckily, we love adventure. Whee!

The Name Game

2008-03-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot about this fun bit...when you adopt, your child already comes with a name. If he is younger (< 1 year or so), you can probably change this name without too much trouble. However, in our case, we are adopting a two-year-old. He's going to know what his name is.

In Alex's case, he came with a pretty easy name - Alexander. It "works" over here in the states. Before we went to meet Alex and found out his name (they don't tell you in advance), we jokingly called him "Boris". When folks would ask about naming, we would say, "Well, if his name is something like Vladamir, we will probably consider changing it. However, if it's something like Alexander, we will keep it."

You can imagine our shock when his name was actually Alexander!

In hindsight, we spent a LOT of time worrying about naming, when we didn't need too.

But...we have to consider this again for New Kid. At two, we will probably know and identify with his name. If we change it, we will need to change it to something similar. This makes it darn near impossible to prepare ahead of time!

Do we look up most common Russian boy names and find alternatives that 'work' in America? (ouch...too much work)

Do we just keep his existing name, even if it's Vlad or Dmitry? (easiest solution, but he might get beat up in the future)

Do we just come up with a new name and figure he will learn the new one? (not very nice, IMHO)

ARG.

I dug out our old 'name list' hoping for some help there. Yuk. Names that we liked four years ago do NOT sound good now.

Oh yeah, and there's one more situation that could occur. He could be named "Alexander". What do we do then? We will have two kids with the same name. Hmmm...

The Talk

2008-03-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

When you already have a child, and another is on the way, there comes a time when you have to sit down and talk to them about how things are going to change.

When one is pregnant, you have some sort of idea about the time frame (typically 9 months, from what I hear). You can also plan on spending some extra time with your child, so that when New Kid comes, they feel all lovey-dovey and not jealous of Parental-Time-Sucking New Kid.

However....

When you are adopting second child, things work a bit differently.

For example, we had The Talk with Alex about New Kid about a year and a half ago. We really thought it would happen quickly. Of course, he immediately went to school and started talking about his baby brother.

I had to slap the folks that started gazing at my belly. Sidenote: I don't know how you pregnant moms deal with people staring, fondling and commenting on your belly. How rude is this!

One time last fall, Alex & I were grocery shopping. He picked up a 4-pack of yogurt and said, "Look Mommy! One for me, one for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for my baby brother."

Better check that expiration date on the yogurt...I don't think Baby Brother will be here in time to eat it!

So now that we have gotten The Call, we have to have The Talk with Alex again. New Kid is not like Elmo - just a make-believe furry creature that never comes to your house for real - just through that box in the living room. New Kid is really coming...look out!

Another difference is that, instead of being able to spend quality time with Alex, we get to leave him for 7 days, then come back for a few months (without New Kid - how confusing will that be?), then leave him for about 20 days, then come back with New Kid and rock his world.

We have to do things like leave him notes, photos, etc. so he doesn't forget who we are when we are traveling.

And - are kids like dogs?....should we introduce them on 'neutral ground' so no one feels dominate/submissive on the 'home turf'?

We are treading new ground here. The Talk should be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes!

Holy Mackerel!

2008-03-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

As some of you already know, Mr. Goofy and I have had paperwork in almost two years to adopt a little boy from Russia. Our current son, Goofy Junior, is also adopted from Russia. Typically, the second adoption is supposed to go faster (you've already done most the paperwork - it's mainly just renewing it all...and more money, of course). This didn't happen, since a few months before we got our paperwork done, Russia decided to revamp their adoption system and re-accredit all the adoption agencies they worked with.

Well, this took a while. They work with a lot of agencies. And we've been in a holding pattern for almost two years now. Our agency was re-accredited at the end of December, but we hadn't heard anything so far.

Until Monday.

Our agency rep called. They have a little boy they would like us to come and meet. And, oh, by the way, could we leave next Monday?

Huh? HUH?!?! That's like, not even 7 days to get visas, get international flights, pack (not a small matter!), get grandparent on the phone for sitting duty and prepare to meet our potential new son.

Yeah, that last one is pretty important. When we adopted Alex, we brought over TONS of Russian medical terminology printouts, growth charts, maps, language guides, etc. We knew we were traveling a month ahead of time, and I still remember getting frantic at the last moment.

So, this time we have 6 days to prepare for this very important trip. GAH!

Breathe...breathe...breathe... SCREAM!

We were able to get our visa paperwork going first thing Tuesday morning. Literally as I am typing, I just got an email that my visa was approved. Yeah! BUT...I still have to get it in the mail before we fly our Monday morning. And no word on Mr. Goofy's...yet.

We struggled with flight reservations. No 7 day advance purchase = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Luckily, Mr. Goofy remembered reading about an adoption-friendly* travel agency that was mentioned on one of our adoption e-groups. We found them, called and this Travel Agent Angel was able to secure two tickets on Lufthansa (we be stylin', no?) for the price of one ticket on Delta. It's still pricey, but acceptable.

NOTE: On our trips to meet Alex, we flew Aeroflot from the US to Russia. There's a whole other post about flying on a Russian airline, but let's just say I'm thinking we will be living la vida posh on Lufthansa.

Right now I'm struggling with SHOES! You really walk almost everywhere in Russia and my favorite walking shoes are TOAST. Yes, I know, this is like the lamest thing to be worried about, but if my feet hurt, I'm cranky. No time to be cranky on this trip.

Oh, and here's the schedule:
Leave KC
Arrive Moscow
Jump on overnight train to middle o' Russia
Arrive middle o' Russia
Nap (we hope!)
Go to orphanage for visit
After 3 days in region, reverse the process

We left ourselves an extra day in Moscow before our flight home, just in case something is delayed our they want us to stay longer. Your middle name has to be "Flexible" when doing international adoption. Nothing is for sure until it actually happens.

So, if everything works out, maybe we will have a day in Moscow to visit Red Square again, maybe see the Kremlin this time (it was closed our last trip, as Putin was "in the house") and (if I can stomach it) go see Lenin's tomb.

So, dear readers, please send some on-time-flights--on-time-trains--healthy-child--no-problems-while-overseas thoughts our way next week.

If I can find a Russian Internet Cafe, I will post next week with the gory details. Dasvidanya for now!

* meaning flights can be booked last-minute, as well as changed, refunded, spindeled and mutilated without extraordinary fees! A decidedly good thing for us!

Adventures in Camping - Part Three

2008-03-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

Part 3 - The Accidental Great Hike

Saturday morning we set off to hike in the Charon's Garden Wilderness Area. We had our sights set on finding the rock climbing areas in the Refuge. Several folks had told us that these were beautiful areas and Mr. Goofy definitely wanted to scope them out for future climbing trips.

We had to drive to the trailhead. We packed up our climbing shoes and harness and looked for the marker for the trailhead. We found a picnic area with some parking and lots of activity. "This must be it!" we thought.

We estimated that we would be at the climbing areas in about 30 minutes. Easy peasy, right?

From the map, it looked like we could head down the Elk Mountain trail and at some point there would be a branch to the right that would take us to the other trail and the climbing areas.

Stupid map. If Dora had this map, she would never make it to Tallest Mountain, that's for sure.

We hiked and hiked, gradually gaining elevation. At some point, we forgot to keep looking for a rightward branching trail. In hindsight, the hike was pretty great - lots of interesting terrain and enough rocks to keep you on your toes.

About 45 minutes later, we realized that we were NOT on the right trail, we were NOT headed to climbing areas, but rather the top of Elk Mountain. Gah!

Since we were already committed, we went ahead and summited Elk Mountain (probably about an hour's hike total). It was beautiful!

You see, most mountain tops are small. You summit, look around, take the obligatory "I made it to the top...see?" photos, then you head down.

But this summit was HUGE...spatious and beautiful. Lots of gigantic, round rocks, that we joked looked like whales, hippos and giant eggs. We probably spent another hour on top of the mountain, just exploring, taking pictures and climbing on rocks.

And we accidentally snuck up on this bison. He must have taken the wrong trail too!

NOTE: For WAY better pictures, taken by someone who actually knows what he is doing, check out Mr. Goofy's pics at Adventure Bound.

Adventures in Camping - Number Two

2008-03-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

Part 2 - Trail Runs

Trail running is a sport where you put on running shoes with beefy soles, usually in some "outdoor" color (green, brown, tan) and you run on hiking trails in the woods.

Trail runs are when you get to your campsite and right in the middle of setting up camp, your son announces that some poop has "sneaked out of his butt". EEK.

Daddy to the rescue...one pair of underwear down for the count (Thank heavens for Ziplocs!).

Ten minutes later, more Sneaky Poop. Gah!

Again Daddy to the rescue. Thank heavens for Daddy! Who, in a brilliant moment of foresight, washed the underwears (I was ready to pitch them...cause you know...EW!) and hung them between two trees to dry. Yeah, we looked pretty white trash, yes we did.

Sneaky Poop: 2 Underwear: 0

No, er, movement happened for about twenty minutes, so we decided it was safe to go for a hike. Yep, we were wrong. Ten minutes into the hike....more Sneaky Poop!

Back to the car. Much cleaning of the butt region. Installment of Underwear #3 (of only 4 packed!).

Smart Daddy came up with another brilliant idea - a big wad of Kleenex in the underwear. Alex was very put off by this, and actually walked like a duck for a while, but gradually forgot about it.

This was a brilliant idea, because it saved Underwear #3. You guessed it...Sneaky P. again.

We gave up on the plan of a longer hike and headed back to camp. Once at camp, Alex & Daddy headed to the rustic campsite outhouse. I can proudly say that my son pooped in the campground potty (they are pretty yukky and kinda creepy, especially if you watched that one X-Files episode about the monster that lives in the outhou....oh nevermind).

The point of this icky story? Camping really makes you appreciate the pleasures of indoor plumbing.

Adventures in Camping (a multi-part series)

2008-03-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Part 1 - Forgotten Things

This past weekend, the Goofy Family packed up the Family Roadster and headed south for some camping in the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge. Located in southern Oklahoma, the WMWR is home to Bison, Elk, Longhorn Cattle and (much to Goofy Junior's delight) cute little Prairie Dogs.

Since my camera is currently located in the Family Roadster, which is currently located at Mr. Goofy's work garage, you'll have to wait for photos.

This trip was packed with fun, melodrama (present anytime a 4-year-old is involved) and danger. (insert Mutual of Omaha "Wild Kingdom" theme music here - if anyone remembers it)

We didn't decide to make this trip until the last minute. Actually the wrench-in-the-works was trying to sweet-talk the kennel into making room for our beloved dog, Murphy. It's spring break, you know. Thanks to a last minute cancellation, Murphy got a spot at the kennel (or the "spa" as we like to call it). So we were off...

At this point, I must confess that I am an anal-retentive planner/organizer when it comes to traveling. Whether it's a weekend camping trip or a week-long trip via airplane, I get pretty focused on the packing process.

You see, I have this personality flaw: I HATE taking something on a trip that I DON'T use.

It drives me nuts. This includes, but is not limited to, clothes, food, toiletries, shoes, and books (although I always bring too much reading material....always.).

I'm constantly asking myself "Am I really going to need this?" when I pack. I also usually pack, then just for principle, take 2-3 things out and leave them at home. This usually leads to a lot of washing of undies in hotel sinks. But I digress...

My husband, dear Mr. Goofy, is the complete opposite. He would take the kitchen sink with us if he thought there might be a hookup near the campsite for it. I think it's that whole Boy Scout "Be Prepared" philosophy.

Okay, so now that I've established our respective freakishness when it comes to packing, here's what happened on this trip. Since we did not have a lot of time to plan/pack (about 24 hours total), we ended up bringing the wrong things and leaving some essential things.

Like...

I remembered my styling brush, but forgot a hair dryer and even more importantly towels. No towels = no showers for us until we got home! Pee-yew!

We remembered all the makings for S'mores (yum) for our campsite dessert, but forgot to bring jugs of water from home. We ended gagging down well water from the campsite. Even adding powdered Powerade to it didn't mask the metalic taste. Gag.

We remembered Uno cards for campsite entertainment (which we didn't end up doing - too windy), but didn't remember to get much traveling cash. We went through 4 toll stations on the way down (and on the way back too) and the campsite office and the local restaurant only took cash. We were borrowing money from Goofy Junior for the last toll!

We remembered our full-on medical kit (complete with splints, roll of bandages, stethoscope, first aid book, etc.) but forgot to replenish our kit with either alcohol wipes or antibiotic cream. We had to doctor our many scrapes with only water and a Band-aid until we got home. Ow.

But even with the forgotten things, and the extra things, we had a great time. We had so much fun that for the next week, I'll be posting more about our trip. There are so many stories to tell...

Goofy Cooks...Kinda

2008-03-11T20:05:00.000-07:00

I hosted our neighborhood book club tonight. Our book was "Second Glance" by Jodi Picoult. We all enjoyed the book, although it was long (400+ pages) and had a plethora of characters. As usual, Picoult did a great job neatly tying all the characters and plotlines into a nice, hearty package at the end, as well as incorporating some controversial topics (ghosts, eugenics and American Indian land rights specifically). Great author!

Our menu was Quiche Lorraine and Tomato Bisque. This would have been the perfect cold winter night menu; however it was about 65 degrees outside. It was still good. And I'm not complaining.

If you need to entertain a small group and need something fast and easy, but want to look like you spent a lot of time preparing, try this...

Tomato Bisque
1 can (28 oz.) crushed tomatoes w/ juice
1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste
1 cup water
2 cups heavy cream
2 tbsp. dried dill
1 tbsp. garlic powder
2 Tbsp. sugar

Put all ingredients in a pot and whisk together. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Serves 6.

Quiche Lorraine - buy a frozen Quelle Quiche from your local grocery store. Cheating? Hell, yes, but really, unless they see the box, only you will know!

I also provided a Mirassou Chardonnay.

My guests kept complaining that I went to too much trouble and I set the bar too high, blah, blah, blah. They don't know that this entire meal took me about 10 minutes total to prepare.

Shhhh....don't tell.

Goofy Dusts Off Her Green Thumb

2008-03-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

As in gardening. As in vegetable gardening.

I recently heard about an organization called Food Not Lawns, and have been reading a lot about urban gardening, CSAs (Community Supported Agriculture) and the like.

If you think about it, it is a bit odd that we Americans spend so much time and money growing a plant (grass) that has no value other than looking pretty and keeping soil in place. Think of all the businesses built around seeding, aerating, fertilizing, weeding, to make that lawn green, green, GREEN.

Why not take a bit of your lawn and grow something that you can actually use (i.e., eat)?

Nothing like a bit of logic to get me fired up.

Also in the Goofy household, we have been trying to eat food that is fairly close to its source (consider the Twinkie...what is the real source of a Twinkle? Hmm.....). In order to make this more fun, I suggest to Goofy Junior that we grow some vegetables in our backyard. He loved the idea so much that he would not shut up about it. For example, yesterday (Sunday) he came up to me and want to plant the vegetables in our backyard. Right. Now. Mommy.

I had to explain that there was a bit of preparation that was needed first. Like um, buying some seeds. And starting the seeds. And digging a bed in the backyard.

These are times when I love the Internet. I fired up the computer, typed in "starting a vegetable garden" and got a few great instructional sites, plus a site with gallery pictures of lots of vegetables. Goofy Junior & I took a look through the veggie pictures and we had our own little Vegetable Voting Primary.

Broccoli got thumbs-up (yeah, I was surprised too). Carrots got thumbs-down (strange). Eggplant got thumbs-up (I think because it was purple and shiny).

So, I went to my local Lowe's and got some seeds and some starter containers. The winners: Spinach, Broccoli, Carrots, Sweet Peppers and Green Beans.

I'm hoping to start the Great Goofy Vegetable Endeavor next week. I'll do some periodic posts (maybe even with (gasp!) photos!) to document our progress.

Alex Meets Harry

2008-03-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

While flipping around channels last week, my son became enthralled with a Harry Potter movie. He wanted to watch it. Anal Retentive Mom said, "No, this is the third movie, and it's in the middle of the movie. We will rent the first movie and watch it, if you want to."

I thought that was the end of it.

It wasn't.

For the next several days, all Alex wanted was to "watch the Harry Potter movie". Memory like an elephant, I'm telling you.

Keep in mind that I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Read all the books. Watched all the movies. Some multiple times. I wanted to make this a good experience. I look forward to reading all the books together, at some point. I just didn't think it would be so soon!

I also didn't want to scare the shit out of my 4-year-old son. The most recent movie was pretty darn scary/violent, but I couldn't remember too much scariness from the very first movie.

Yeah. Whoops. There are some scary parts. (CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR LAME FOLKS THAT HAVEN'T SEEN/READ THE FIRST HARRY POTTER BOOK/MOVIE) Like at the end when Quirrell turns around and Voldemort's face is on the back of his head. And the three-headed dog (Fluffy) guarding the Sorcerer's Stone. And when Voldemort is drinking the dead unicorn's blood and attacks Harry.

Alex took it all in stride. In fact, when Mr. Goofy got home, he got an excited earful....

"Daddy! Vomomort* gave Harry Potter a scarf* and killed his mom and dad. And do you know what he was drinking? The unicorn's blood. Because he was DEAD."

Yep. I've scarred him for life. Now onto "Eragon"!

* not typos. Just 4-year-old speak.

Endangered Species: Combs?

2008-02-27T19:59:00.000-08:00

What has happened to combs?!?! Combs are disappearing from the face of the earth. We must act fast to save this endangered species!

I don't typically think about combs much. Okay, really not at all. I use one in the morning to detangle my hair. Well, my comb broke last week. I went to buy a new one.

I must admit that my comb is kind of specialized. But how specialized can it really be? It's a comb, for crying out loud!

Anyway, here's my beloved (and now fatally injured) comb:

It's a Scunci Soft Comfort Grip™ Lift-and-Tease Comb. Call me high-maintanance, but this comb rocks!

And I not only found it impossible to find a replacement for my rockin' comb, I had a really difficult time finding any combs at all!

I looked at CVS and Walgreen's. No luck. They had mainly the gigantic, big-toothed combs. I don't have that much hair! Then I tried Beauty Express and Beauty Brands. These places were pathetic! They only had the barber-shop black bare-bones combs.

Everyone I asked seemed very apologetic that they didn't have more combs. Where have all the combs gone!?!? Is there some sort of comb boycott going on? Is someone stockpiling combs for some sort of comb revolution? Am I just old school for even using a comb?

I'm perplexed.

If someone can find this near-extinct comb somewhere, I'm offering a reward!

Laugh of the Day

2008-02-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

Time Warner Cable...always good for a laugh.

This page on their website helps you understand your bill. Supposedly. It really doesn't explain why I was charged $3.99 for renting "Callejon De Los Mila". *

But that's not the funny part.

Take a look at the second graphic - "Back of Bill". Take a close look at what our friend Jane Customer has been renting, under "Movies and Events"....

"The Nasty Professor"!?!??! (not The Nutty Professor, which would be the G-rated movie with our pal Eddie Murphy). I'm thinking porno.

Jane, you need a date, girl!

*I think this means "Alley of the somethingorothers" - kudos to anyone who can help translate. Callejon is 'alley', but "mila" is not in my Spanish dictionary at all.

Are Kids and Good Food Mutually Exclusive!?!

2008-01-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

Hey! Look what I started...

There was a recent article in KC Magazine called "Family Dining With Kids" (January 2008 - p. 57 of the link). Their suggestions for eating out well with your kids in Kansas City? Crayola Cafe, Rain Forest Cafe, T-Rex Cafe, Fritz's, Papa Keno's and Avelluto's Italian Delight.

This pissed me off.

I don't buy into the belief that your dining-out life ends when you have kids. I believe that you can still go out and eat some pretty darn good food, with kids in tow. We do it often.

Anyway, my full rant is here: Chowhound

And I think I've hit a nerve - I have quite a few comments to the post. Take a look and chime in with your thoughts!

A Day of Water Horses and Wills

2008-01-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Wills:
Since we will be traveling to Russia again, someday, we have been needing to get our wills into place. Just in case.

I say "wills" (plural) because, yes, we BOTH need to do our own will. Seems strange, because I believe if one of us kicks the proverbial bucket and the other one is still around, all assets go to the surviving spouse. No questions asked. But maybe that's just a Kansas thing.

I signed up with Prepaid Legal about a year ago, with one of the main reasons being that they do your will for free. And your spouse's for $20, I found out later. Not a bad deal, I think.

Except....

Who wants to think about dying? Not me, buddy. We have procrastinated and procrastined. Then, when we got to the actual paperwork (a fairly easy 5 page form), there were Decisions.

Big Decisions.

Like who would take custody of Alex if we both go down in a fiery plane crash? Who would manage distributing the assets from our mondo estate (1 mortgaged house, 2 cars, and 3 iPods)? How about who makes the decision to continue life-supporting services, should one of us be unable to make that decision? Who gets Murphy (our dog)?

Gulp. Like I said, you just don't think (or WANT to think) about this stuff on a daily basis.

Anyway, I finally got the paperwork done today and in the mail. Now I'm prepared to die. EEK!

Water Horses:
Alex & I went to see Water Horse: Legend of the Deep tonight. What a great movie! And not just a kid movie either. It's about the legend of the Loch Ness Monster, and rated PG, so I was a bit concerned that Alex might have nightmares for the next 10 years if I took him. But the only other option was Enchanted, and, with or without Patrick Dempsey, I would have needed at least a bottle of wine before venturing to that piece of cinematic excellence.

Anyway, to test my Scaredy Cat theory, I went to the movie's website and showed him the movie trailer. He was not scared and wanted to see all the trailers. Dude, there were about 10 snippets of the movie available to watch! I felt like I saw the whole thing before even leaving the house. But there was more to the movie after all.

It was very well done, the scenery was amazingly beautiful - made me want to visit Scotland. And the effects related to the "monster" were superb. There were some perilous scenes and some gunfire, but Alex was pretty un-fazed by that. He enjoyed the cute monster parts (when the monster is small) and there's plenty of comedic parts in the movie.

I've always been intrigued by the legend of the Loch Ness Monster, and this movie attempts to put some explanation behind the legend. I thought it was very well done.

Although from the minute we sat down and someone rattled a popcorn bag, all Alex could say was "Mommy, I need a snack." (looking pointedly at the bag-rattler). I managed to put him off until we got home (I'm not buying a $10 bag of popcorn when we have popcorn in the fridge!), then he had two crackers and crashed.

Let's hope the monster stays out of his dreams. And mine too.

My Quarterly Mommy Post

2008-01-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hold onto your hats, Dear Readers, it's a Mommy* Post!**

What kid-related and kid-created paperwork do you keep for posterity?

I'm talking about all the Daily Poop sheets from daycare. All the Good/Bad Kid Notes from preschool. The painted hand-prints on blue sheets of construction paper. And the footprints too.

I'm also talking about the kid-created stuff. The Picassoesque drawing of the family (giant stick kid, tiny stick parents, stick dog that looks like a tree). The coloring book sheets that are never colored "within the lines". *** The stickered, stamped, colored Masterpieces.

Do you keep it all? How do you decide what to keep and what to ditch?

Here's my thoughts to get things going:

I keep:
- Significant kid-related documents. Examples: Bad Notes from Preschool (these could be good for a laugh later), Good Notes from Preschool (stuff you feel proud about), and Milestone-related documents (first name-writing attempt)
- Size-related stuff: handprints, footprints (these will be fun to dig out in a few years and compare)
- Drawings that I like. I just don't think you can keep them all. And some are just doodling. That said, I still have a BUNCH. Goofy Junior is using a scissors like a fiend now and I showed him how to cut up pix in magazines and use glue to make a collage last weekend. And he knows how to use tape. Let's just say our entry hall looks like an art gallery installation right now. Or a daycare.
- Handmade cards. I'm a sucker for these. Hand-made Mother's Day cards, birthday cards, Just Because cards. I keep all of these.

I ditch:
- Most colored coloring book sheets.
- Stickered and stamped Masterpieces.
- Sheets that told me what GJ ate for lunch at daycare. Or when he pooped. Old news.

And....I totally get busted all the time for throwing these things away. You see, it seems that GJ does not approve of me throwing ANYTHING of his away. Here's how this conversation usually goes:

GJ (throwing something away in the trash can): Hey!!!
Me: What?
GJ (pulling the paper with the letter "e" stamped all over it): Who threw this away?
Me (totally acting dumb): Um, what? What is it?
GJ (gingerly pulling the e-stamped thing from the trash): This! My piece of paper. (makes sad face)
Me: Oh, that. Hmmm.... Wow. It must have gotten thrown away with some mail. Did you leave it lying around? Maybe Daddy threw it away. (note me shifting blame here to everyone but me. Ha!) Hey, what letter is that on there? (always teaching, I am...)

This usually results in having to keep the dreaded Masterpiece around for another day, until he's not looking, then putting it deeper in the trash can.

*This is really a Parent Post, since it applies to Mommies and Daddies. Always full disclosure here at Goofy Girl.

**Yes, I'm a Mommy. And no, I don't post a ton about being a Mommy. It's just one facet of who I am, so if it comes up, it comes up. Usually it is the LEAST goofy part of my world, so I just don't post a lot about it. You might think this is goofy. Well, did you notice the name of this blog? Okay then.

***Another side note (I'm into asterisks today): Does it bug you when you kid colors OUTSIDE the lines? This seems to drive some people crazy. I actually encourage it. There will be SO much time for conforming later, why pressure them with this now? Why stifle creative thinking at such a young age?

Goofy's Report on the State of Capitalism in America's Heartland

2008-01-15T20:21:00.001-08:00

It's in trouble, folks.

I "walked the Maul" today. And it was downright BORING. Where are all the shoppers? It was like a frickin' ghost town!

FYI for fellow Kansas Citians - I went to the Oak Park Mall - once a booming mecca of all things shiny and new. Now...not so much.

It should have been an exciting time...most stores had 50-75% off sales! Of good stuff! But in many of the stores I visited, I was the sole shopper in the store. The clerks looked downright bored. I felt a little bad for not really "shopping".

A couple of snippets from my notes (yes, I took notes! I told you I would!):

- Dell had a kiosk in the Maul. Good idea. It was one of the few kiosks with more than one person lurking around it. I did a little laptop fondling while I was there. I had to give mine back to The Man.
- Sushi in the food court! Is this really necessary?
- Where are all the shoppers? Did the Rapture occur? Oops.
- If you need a job, check out the Maul. Almost every store was hiring. Hopefully that's not my destiny. Gulp. Maybe the sushi store is hiring....
- No Auntie Anne's Pretzel store anymore!? That was going to be my reward for making it out alive. Where is the pretzel store, dammit?!?!

Yeah...I didn't get a lot of good takeaways from the Maul. Not even a damn pretzel.

Tomorrow: Goofy visits the Temple of the Anti-Christ (aka Starbucks)

Odd Observation of the Day: The Borders store at 119th & Blackbob has a sign in the bathroom stating, "Staff Must Wash Hands." Underneath the text is a line of brail.
I wondered:
a) why would a bookstore hire a blind person? wouldn't all the books feel the same to them (no books I've ever seen at Borders have brail coded on them)
and
b) how would this blind employee know that the sign was in that spot, on that wall, in the bathroom, and that they should feel for it?
and further
c) does bookstore staff really NEED to wash their hands? it's not like they are serving food or anything. and it's not like all the other schmoes fondling the books have to wash their hands. Kinda makes me want to wash my hands after going there...

Forcing Creativity (aka Herding Cats)

2008-01-15T00:19:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I am working on My Next Big Thing. Most entrepreneurs discover a great idea, hone it, then run off to make it real. Not me. In typical Goofy fashion, I've quit my full-time, PAYING job first, to go work on the idea discovery phase. Backwards. As usual.

And I've been approaching this Idea Creation like work. Which is so wrong. And so not working.

I sit at my computer most days, surfing trend website, making notes, surfing business websites, making notes, surfing eBay, taking notes, etc.....looking for ideas that strike my fancy. Some days I rinse and repeat this process at the local library.

I have a notebook full of ideas that I don't love nor believe in.

I realized yesterday that I am going about entrepreneurship as if it was a corporate job. And (duh!) that won't work. Coming up with creative ideas is just like herding cats. You can't go about it in a systematic, organized way. The cats (or the ideas if you're following the analogy) simply look at you and yawn. "We are not playing that game," they say.

So how to get my brain to poop out a Creative Idea?

I think creatively in the shower. I could shower all day. But this makes it hard to take notes (they'd be all smudgey and stuff) and I'd be all pruney and I hate that. Bad idea.

I decided just now (yes, 2:00am Tuesday morning...what of it?) that I would take my husband's advice. He is of the Creative persuasion. He said, "Go walk the mall. You'll get a good idea of what's hot, what people are buying, etc."

While this is primo advice...I hate the Maul. I hate the pushy crowds, I hate the overpriced stores, I hate the People That Can't Park Right, I hate the whiny, spoiled kids, the indifferent store clerks, the stinky food court. Ugh. But I suppose it is just the bastion of capitalism that might steer me in the right direction, creativity wise.

Those cats better watch their asses. I'm comin' for 'em...

But I'm totally bringing a notebook and taking notes. Some habits die hard.

After the Maul, I will go haunt a local coffee house and do some people-watching. What are people frustrated by? What do they seem to want? World peace? A triple-mocha latte? A nap? Guess I will find out.

Those cats won't know what hit 'em. They will not only be herded, but in line in alphabetical order, before they even know what's going on.

I'll post about how this process goes for me.

In the meantime, do any right-brain-endowed readers have any ideas for me about creative-thinking strategies? Where do you get your best ideas? What else can I try?

I think I hear feline yawning!

Global Commerce, Traffic Court and Lemon Cake

2008-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

What do these things have in common? Me. Today.

1. Global Commerce - My most recent eBay auction netted me a winner from Switzerland! Even though I specifically stated "US buyers" only (I had a feeling the item would have international interest), this Swiss Mister decided he would bid and win. Doh!

So I learned how to ship to Switzerland. Several visits to the local post office, a sextuple-copy customs form and $40 later...the final verdict is: This global commerce stuff is easy! Well...I suppose I should wait 6 - 10 days to decide. That's when the package should arrive. Should.

2. Traffic Courts - Remember the huge afternoon snowstorm we had back on December 15th? The one in the middle of the day, that came from nowhere? Yeah, that one. That day, as I was creeping back home through the snow-covered streets from a kidling birthday party, a friendly policelady pulled me over. There was no way I was speeding (remember the snowy streets?) and I hadn't done anything funky or illegal that I knew of (unless eating three pieces of birthday cake is a crime), but here she was, pulling me over.

My tags were expired! Eek! By two weeks. Yep, they had expired November 30th. On December 15th, in a snowstorm, she gives me a ticket for this. The ultimate irony? I had just bought the damn car off lease the DAY BEFORE (yes, Friday) and paid the damn sales tax, the damn personal property tax and the damn NEW TAGS. Yes, I told her this. The problem. I DIDN'T HAVE THE NEW PLATES ON THE CAR. Double dog DOH! She gave me the "yeah, right" look and wrote me up.

So, I went to traffic court today. I showed all my receipts to the kind judge. I gave her a wry smile. And had to pay $10 instead of $70. I call that a 'win'. And now I can add "traffic court" to my list of Life Experiences. Whee!

3. Lemon Cake. Never eat lemon cake then go do yoga. Never. Results are not pretty. Bleck.

Okay....so....

2008-01-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

What the hell do I do now?!

My last day at Corporate America (aka "Working for The Man") was Monday.* Today was a holiday. Whee. I feel like I should get up early and join the ranks of the living zombies...er, working class tomorrow. One thing wrong with that idea.

I quit that shit.

So....now what?! I am in total control of my future. Total Control. Total. How freeing! How liberating! How fucking scared to death am I?

Very.

And .....not.

I vary between not being able to quit smiling and being very worried about not being a income-producing member of the Goofy family.

Due to my industry of choice (tech), I've always been the higher-income producing member of the Goofy household. Willingly. No worries. I've always accepted this role proudly.

So now, I'm feeling a little weird about my new Zero Income status.

Hoping it's temporary. Hoping The Million Dollar Idea comes soon. Help me, Donny Deutsche!

I've been in this situation before. During the "Dot-Com Boom", I found myself working for a Dot-Com Dog, realized it, and decided to get out while the gettin' was good. I did so and quickly jumped into the Next Thing Available, which would have been excellent, but for the Dot-Com baloon bust during the first six months of my new found freedom.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? RIGHT?!?!?

So....this is a rambling, conflicted, post-holiday, pre-freedom post. Stay tuned for when I actually get some focus and start doing some wonderful (yet, inevitably Goofy) things.

...should make for some good reading! :-)

*I absolutely could NOT resist the symmetry and closure of my last day being 12/31. Anal. Retentive.

Goofy Drinks...Justin Vineyards "The Orphan" 2005

2007-12-18T20:26:00.000-08:00

This wine first grabbed my eye with its strange name ("The Orphan"). Then I realized that this wine was made by Justin Vineyards, a Paso Robles establishment known for their higher-priced (for me, anyway) Bordeaux-style red blends like Isosceles (about $60 retail for the 2004 release).

The tag line on the bottle explained the odd name...

"When we blend wines from our various lots each year we find there are always some who don't fit in. Rather than abandon them and deprive them of a home, we united these mostly Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah 'Orphans' and offer them for your adoption."

You have to appreciate the Marketing folks at Justin, who probably had a conversation like this:

Marketer #1:
"Hey, we've got all this juice left that's not good enough for our primo wines, what should we do?"

Marketer #2:

"Hmmmm....I've got it! Let's mix it all together, bottle it, put a cute label on it and sell it for twelve bucks a bottle! We're geniuses. Let's go have a two-hour lunch now. Whee!"

But the price tag and the name sealed the deal for me. I get to try a high-end vineyard's wine for $12? Oh, okay...twist my arm.

I opened the bottle and poured the wine. It was a deep, dark inky color, indicative of the wines in the blend (Cab Sav and Shiraz). So far, so good.

When I swirled and smelled the wine, I knew I was in for something good. It smelled like a big, bold, standoffish Cab. I could say "berries" or "pepper", but that just wouldn't give you the full nose. If you've even been in Napa Valley during harvest-time, imagine that smell. Or if you've ever been up-close-and-personal in a winery when they have a Cabernet vat open and are working the wine, imagine that smell. It was the smell I associate with big red wines - that are yes, maybe still a little young - but that I tend to love anyway.

I did a little Happy Dance, then tasted the wine.

YUM. It did not disappoint. It tasted like the big, bold Cab that its smell alluded to. Think blackberries and plum, fruity but not sweet. It was maybe a bit TOO big. And a bit too young. But my palate still liked it. The tannins hit the back of my tongue and got it tingling at just the right speed.

Ah yes...Food! I paired this wine with:

-V's Toasted Chicken Ravioli

-Bertolli Olive Oil & Garlic Pasta Sauce

This pairing ended up quite nicely. The food stood up to the wine, the wine stood up to the food. It was a very even match. I was a little perplexed about whether to do a white or red wine with this menu, but the red won, mainly because I think white wine and red pasta sauce is just wrong.

Final Bottle Status: Not empty...but only because I was eating solo! 9 out of 10 taste buds. This was a very nice wine that I will definitely buy again.

I would definitely get this wine again. I might grab a bottle and cellar it for a year, just to see what happens when the youngness wears off. If the bottle lasts that long!

Goofy Calls It Quits

2007-12-18T20:06:00.001-08:00

So Monday I quit my job. Just like that. Well, not really "just like that". I think I've been considering a change for about 3 years now, only seriously for about 1 year.

All this madness started last week. I worked from home three of the four days for various reasons. And got SO much done. And it was SO stress-free. Then I went into work on Thursday and realized that I just don't fit in the corporate environment.* I got nothing done and was stressed the entire time.

So I drafted my resignation letter, to make me feel better. I thought it would be 'cleansing'. I got to the 'last day is...' part and had to enter some dates. I realized that if I put Monday's date in, two weeks would end on 12/31. The last day of the year. I'm a sucker for closure, so that clinched it...the letter would be sent on Monday.

Do I have another job? No. It's been a lifelong goal of mine to start my own business. I've actually started (and killed) about three so far...with one still limping along. It's time to get serious about this and make it happen. I'm consider this my retirement from Corporate America. I don't intend to look back.

What kind of business? No idea. And not for lack of ideas. No sirree...I've got tons of ideas. Great ones...goofy ones.... But with that annoying full-time job thing, there's just no time for focusing on market viability, sales forecasting and branding strategies, so part of my first steps will be whittling down the many ideas into the chosen few. Kinda like American Idol for business ideas.

Want a look into Goofy's mind? Okay, you asked for it! Here's an excerpt from The Notebook of Goofy Ideas. In no particular order...

Pet Bling (who says Fifi can only have one dog tag? give her several, made of sterling silver, with sayings like "Sexy Bitch" or "Hot Dog")
Glow in the dark keyboard (for those late-night surfing sessions)
Customized band-aids (put Mommy's loving face on that ouchie!)
Vitamin attachment for the kitchen sink (why not get some good vitamins with every glass of water you drink?)

So there's four of the many goofy ideas that pour through my brain on a daily basis. Will I actually make one of these ideas profitable? Will I come up with something else? Or will I tweak something already around to make it mine?

Stay tuned for Goofy's Next Big Thing...

*Mr. Goofy is laughing his ass off at this. He's known this for years. But I'm slow sometimes.

Goofy Drinks...Petite Sirah

2007-12-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

I've accepted the challenge from Wannabe Wino to drink and review a Petite Sirah.

The wine I chose was a 2005 "39 Degrees" Petite Sirah (Sonoma County, CA). This wine is made by Cecchetti Wine Company, who also makes the Red Tree label.

I bought it based on the clever name (39 degrees is the latitude of the vineyard), the visually-appealing label and the region the wine was from (Sonoma County, CA). I bought this wine from a neighborhood liquor store, not a specialty wine store, so that I would be reviewing something that my readers might actually be able to find themselves.

Sight: a beautiful, deep ruby color – very opaque.

Nose: jammy fruit, blackberry and strawberry

Taste: a smooth burst of strawberry with the first sip! The second sip was again very strawberry; sweet but dry

Since I was starving and had fixed Goofy Junior a grilled cheese, the first pairing was with Grilled Cheese (this blog is just OOZING with culture, yes?). The wine went well with the cheese, although some berrylicious flavor was drowned out because of the fried-ness of the sandwich. Probably not the best pairing! India Pale Ale would be a better choice.

For the OFFICIAL pairing, I matched this wine with:
-A Big-Ass Steak*
-Wild Mushroom Risotto**
-Garlic Naan**

This wine stood up nicely to the steak. I typically pair a Cabernet Sauvignon or a Zinfandel with steak, but this Petite Sirah definitely held its own against a lot of strong bovine goodness.

Overall this wine was super-duper drinkable, with or without food. It got dryer the more I drank - which was two glasses before dinner was served. Ahem.

Mr. Goofy's 2 Cents…
Mr. G. didn’t get much of a nose from the wine, but thought the taste was “smoky” and he tasted “anise” (that black licorice flavor). He guessed a price point of $12 – 14. (actual retail price was….$11.99, so he was spot on). He liked the slight “tannicity” (a word that he created to reflect the tannin content of the wine).

Close Your Eyes and Imagine: Having a bite of strawberry shortcake while smelling a fine cigar being smoked nearby.

Final Bottle Status: Empty! 9 out of 10 taste buds. This was a very nice wine that I will definitely buy again.

*For picture purposes we put the whole steak, in all its big-assedness on one plate, but in reality, we split it.

**Archer Farms brand (from Target). I must confess... They make great store brand stuff and we had just visited Target that afternoon.

Adoption Update!

2007-12-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know (some not), we have our paperwork in for a second adoption from Russia . We have been waiting for quite some time now, as Russia is reaccrediting all the adoption agencies that facilitate Russian adoptions (about 150 agencies). Recently, there has been some progress on this and a few agencies have been given the accreditation. Unfortunately, our agency has not yet been given the green light.

Our agency knows we have been waiting and approached us with another option. We could pursue an "independent adoption". We would work with our agency here, but when we get to the region in Russia , we would work with a contractor. Since independent adoptions are still okay in Russia , we could make both trips and be back with our son, possibly even before our agency gets accredited.

Our agency approached us with this "independent adoption" option for a particular region that is new to them. We had originally requested to travel to the same region as we did with Alex ( Kaliningrad ). The new region actually has a child awaiting adoption, although we have very few facts about this child. We do know that they have asked us to be open to an older child (up to 3 years old). We had originally requested a younger child (18 months or less), so this was something we really had to stop and consider. The challenge with an older child is that if they've been in the orphanage for a long time, they are more likely to have developmental and psychological delays. Also, a 3-year-old will have some Russian language, so we would have to dust off our Russian language books and get cracking!

In the end, we agreed to this new approach. Alex will be 5 in April (they really do grow up so fast!), so a 3-year-old will still be a little brother for him. The new region looks interesting and is really quite bustling, compared to Kaliningrad .

Travel to this region will be a true adventure. From talking to a family that recently went there, it went like this: Fly to Moscow (11 hours); Rest in hotel (4 hours); Travel by overnight train to new region (13 hours); Freshen-up time (20 minutes); Travel by car to orphanage (3 hours). Talk about planes, trains and automobiles! In the 6 days that this family was in Russia , they only stayed hotels for 2 nights.

We have submitted our paperwork for this region. There is a strong possibility that we could end up traveling in December. And (silly us!) we thought we might get to experience spring or summer in Russia this time, instead of winter again.

We will update everyone when we get the call to travel. Until then, send some good thoughts our way as we embark on our journey into a new part of the world, for a new adventure, for the newest addition to our family.

A Little Perspective - Just in Time for the Holidays

2007-12-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

My department at work volunteered yesterday at the Johnson County Christmas Bureau. The JCCB is a very cool place where low-income folks can go to get food, clothing and gifts for the holiday season. It's surprisingly well-stocked (although they could use more coats) and very well-attended.

My job was to walk around with a shopper to inform them about each department and how many items they could have from each. This was based on family size.

My first shopper was pretty uneventful. She went through each section and made her choices, taking about 45 minutes, then thanked me at the end.

My second shopper was a nice, middle-aged, heavy-set lady in a wheelchair. As we started shopping, she informed me that it was so great that they had allowed her to shop for her adult children, since this was her last Christmas. When I looked confused about what she meant, her face (and tear-filled eyes) said it all. Her LAST Christmas. As in, she will NOT BE AROUND next year.

Gulp.

I quickly recovered and told her, "Well then we are going to make this a great shopping trip for you!". We took our time perusing can labels and boxes of food. She told me that she was diabetic and has had many, many surgeries, so diet was pretty critical. We took our time picking clothes - checking sizes and colors. She spent a long time selecting shampoo and soap. When we got to the adult gifts, she found a tray table and got very excited. She said that she eats a lot of her meals in bed and this was just what she needed. I think she actually clapped with joy...over a tray table.

After two hours of shopping (she really did have a great time), she gave me a big hug (again with the tear-filled eyes) and told me what a blessing it was to have been invited to come shopping - that this had made her holidays special.

I walked away with a new perspective on things. I know I SHOULD be thankful for all that I have. I know that I SHOULD be thankful for my health and well-being. I know that I SHOULD be thankful for a support system of family and friends that I could turn to if needed.

And now I AM thankful. And this, dear readers, is what I think the holidays are really about.

'Tis the Season...

2007-12-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

for shopping frustration.

Every year my nieces plot to stump me in my Christmas buying plans for them.

Well, okay, they probably don't actually PLOT to stump me, but it's typically challenging to find the items on their list. But..it's a fun challenge. And I usually succeed. *

Ahem. Except for this year. Not one, but BOTH nieces have "must have"s on their list that must be on every friggin' teenager's list, because they are either NOWHERE TO BE FOUND or WAY TOO EXPENSIVE.

Exhibit A: Cute horse tote. It's cute, no? But ah-ha! It's pink. She does not want pink. ARG..PINK! NO PINK! NO. BAD. PINK, BAD!!! Must have BLUE. There is one place where I find BLUE. eBay. Which should be good, but it's not, because the blue is RARE (read: EXPENSIVE). This little cotton tote in BLUE is 61 bucks. Love ya sweetie, but suck it up, yer gettin' PINK.

Exhibit B: Scene It? Pirates of the Caribbean Game. I like the "Pirates" movies, but really don't see the need to memorize enough to play a trivia game with that knowlege. But, silly me..I'm in the minority on this because THIS GAME IS SOLD OUT EVERYWHERE! I should have known when I found it right away, for a reasonable $29.99, with free shipping. Just WTF does "Temporarily Not Available Online" mean? Should I check the stores? Of course, I cannot check store inventory online.** My good ole faithful (EBAY) has the game, for a mere $54 + $9 shipping. Gah! I'm stalking eBay like a fiend for this game, but niece #2 might have to settle for the Jack Sparrow action figure. No wait...I want that.

Whatever happened to Barbies? Oh yeah, this happened.

*eBay usually saves my ass every year. Love ya eBay, my sweet!

** When will stores figure out that we DO NOT want to set foot in them from 11/23 - 1/1?! We want to sit at home with our hot cocoa and shop at midnight from our laptop. Duh. First one to figure this out WINS.

Quit Talking 'Bout Yourself!

2007-11-30T19:56:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe just one more time. Thanks to Cagey, here's more about my fav subject: ME!

8 passions in my life:

Mr. Goofy

Goofy Junior

Reading

Dancing

Experiencing New Things

Helping Others experience/learn new things

Competition

Food

8 things to do before I die:

Drive a Nascar

Hang-glide

Travel to New Zealand

Get a pedicure

Travel to Mount Everest Basecamp (Cagey- let's go!)

Visit the Pyramids

Own a motorcycle (or at least a 50-mph scooter)

Drink wine in Tuscany

8 things I often say:

Okey-doke

You've got to be kidding!

Holy Moley!

Darn it! (Have had to tame down my potty mouth)

Wine?

Dessert?

Hey!

8 books I read recently:

The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans

Blaze by Stephen King

The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss

Microtrends by Mark J. Penn

Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity: GET OUT THE SHOVEL -- WHY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG by John Stossel

Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen (for a book club)

The five dysfunctions of a team: [a leadership fable] by Lencioni, Patrick

The Hummer and the Mini: Navigating the Contradictions of the New Trend Landscape by Robyn Waters

8 songs that mean something to me:

"Rosanna" by Toto (song that was playing when I met Mr. Goofy 25 years ago - yikes!)
"Release Me" by Pearl Jam (makes me shiver)
"Every Step of the Way" by Steve Walsh
"Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog
"4 out of 5" by Soul Coughing
"She's a Rebel" by Green Day
"Dancing by Myself" by Bill Idol
"Jaded" by Green Day

Lazy or Smart? You Decide.

2007-11-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Option 1 - Homemade Thanksgiving dinner for the Goofy household (plus in-laws):

$20 Turkey
$ 5 Ingredients for Cornbread Stuffing
$ 6 Potatoes for Mashing
$ 5 Ingredients for Green Bean Casserole
$ 5 Dinner Rolls
$ 7 Ingredients for Pumpkin Pie
$ 7 Ingredients for Apple Pie
$ 10 Miscellaneous: Butter, Cranberry, Cool Whip, Gravy, etc.

NOTE: This does NOT include the TIME spent thawing, preparing, mixing, stuffing, buttering, cooking, baking, slicing, whipping and....cleaning up. Groan.

Option 2 - Go out for Thanksgiving dinner to a Restaurant that:
- won the Best Overall Restaurant in KC in 2006
- is located on the Country Club Plaza, which is famous for turning on their obscenely huge array of Christmas Lights on Thanksgiving night
- serves the full-blown traditional turkey dinner (including dessert), all-you-can-eat, for $20 per person
- did I mention that kids eat free?
- or that Goofy Junior LOVES Christmas Lights?

This year we are choosing Option 2*. We have reservations at 6:30pm. The Plaza Lights go on at 6:45pm.

No cooking, no cleaning - just eating, drinking and getting in the merry spirit of the holidays.

So...Lazy or Smart?

I say BOTH.

*My mom-in-law's quote was "Boy, we are getting smarter in our old age, aren't we?" so I think she's down with it.

One Laptop Per Child

2007-11-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

Goofy is taking a moment from her regularly-scheduled goofiness for this public-service announcement.

Heard of the One Laptop Per Child initiative? (if not, check out the link in that last sentence, 'cause I can't do it justice) Coming up this Monday, November 12th, there is a special promotion called "Give One Get One". This is pure marketing genius, IMHO.

Donate $399 to give the gift of education (via a laptop sent to a child in a developing country) and also get a laptop for your child. Two laptops for 400 bucks!?!? That's a good deal in my book.

AND...
You get to feel good that you did something for a child you don't know AND you get to feel good that you did something for a child you do know. That's pure double-delicious coolness in my book.

And the laptops are space-age super-cool looking. They are mostly bright green with two antennae poking up from the monitor like ears. They even have a handle. Why doesn't my laptop have a handle? Oh yeah, then the laptop bag makers wouldn't have anything to sell me.

More Needles, Please

2007-10-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

I'm shocked. I'm not normally shocked by much. But I'm shocked.

I came home last night from working all day, playing Craps at the casino, and sitting down to a nice dinner (it was Mr. Goofy's bday). I grabbed our dog Murphy to take her for a short walk before going to bed.

I was about 3 minutes down the street when I realized...I don't feel any pain. This is HUGE. As most of you know (from all my bitchin' in this here blog), I have been having chronic lower back pain (left side if you're keeping score at home), ever since we adopted our son*...going on 2 1/2 years now.

I almost stopped and sat down, just to keep from ruining the feeling. But I kept walking. Down the street. No pain. No back pain. No hip pain. No groin pain. (yep the whole kit n' kaboodle on the left side hurts normally). All the way down the block and back. I almost screamed for joy.

The only thing I've been doing differently is the acupuncture. And I've only been twice. And I haven't been since last Saturday.

So, dear readers, it seems that my meridian was INDEED blocked. Damn meridian. And the needles are INDEED un-blocking them. Love those needles! Rather quickly, I might add.

It's early to get too excited. I did have some pain and stiffness this morning. But much less than normal. But I'm optimistic. Crazy as it might sound, eastern medicine might just be onto something. At least for me.

Stay tuned. I might be leaping tall buildings again soon. Whee!

*He's not a chubby child, it's just that I didn't have the normal 9-month 'ramp-up' time to get my body used to carrying that weight in front of me. No training whatsoever, then deadlifting 17+ pounds of wiggly child twelve+ times a day will do a number on your back, my friends.

Need Help with Veggies!

2007-10-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

I need some good Halloween food ideas. Alex's class is having a party next week and we signed up to bring veggies. Well, veggies are BORING.

How can I Halloween-ize some veggies to make them fun for a 4-year-old party?

I thought about carving baby carrots into tiny pumpkins and well, that's just ridiculous. I thought about modifying Cagey's Ghosts in the Graveyard dessert for veggies, but what would the 'dirt' be? You don't really dip veggies into anything brown, typically. EW.

Who's got a good creative idea that I can try? With limited time commitment please!

A Gift to You!

2007-10-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I've been brainstorming to determine what my Next Big Thing should be. This will probably, but not necessarily, be a startup business.

I've got a notebook that I keep with me 24/7 and when I think of something promising ("just feed the tuna fish mayonaise"*) I write it down. I've gotten quite a few wacky ideas, but nothing really promising yet.

However, I recently came up with a pretty interesting idea that I think could actually work. But it's just not an idea that I would like to do. You know how you're supposed to have that passion for your business? Well, this idea gives me no passion. But it might work for someone else, so I'm sharing it.

Here it is: (please forgive the long-windedness as I describe how I got to the idea)
You know those Build-a-Bear stores in the mall, where you go in and pick the bear body, pick the stuffing, pick add-ons like collars and nametags, pick a name, and then they put the damn thing together for you? And pay an average of $32 for the privilege? This company makes a cool $318.1 million in revenue** for providing the materials for customers to come in and basically make their own stuffed animals.

There's also Papa Murphy's Pizza, which follows the same general idea, but they provide all the fresh ingredients for you to create your own pizza, which you then take home and "finish" (by baking). Hey, I just made my family a home-made pizza. Yeah, sure you did. But I'll bet you felt better bringing that home than a cold-by-the-time-it-hits-the-dinner-table Pizza Hut pizza!

Part of the attraction of these two businesses is that, when you go there, you are "doing it yourself" - it's "homemade", so it must be better, right? You can also personalize the products, so you walk away with the exact thing you are looking for, and don't have to settle for whatever was in stock.

Then there is the trend towards Old Fashioned Hobbies. I've noticed this trend over the past few years. I've never known so many women who sew and knit! ***

So how about a store where you could go to make your own, custom-made, high-quality kids' clothes? There would be some pre-made parts (think Build-a-Bear here), like sleeves, collars and bodices. And you could combine colors, fabrics, etc. to make your own creation. Want a blue dress with a lace collar, gold trim and puffy sleeves? Done. How about a green shirt with long sleeves, cute buttons and a satin collar? Done.

This would be different than going to a fabric store, just like buying a Papa Murphy's Pizza is different than making a pizza from scratch - the product is already "half-made" rather than requiring "totally from scratch" work (and time).

I think this idea would work best for baby/toddler/kindergartener clothes, just to limit the sizes that you'd have to carry in inventory.

Stealing from the Bear stores and the Social Suppers-type stores, you could hold parties with friends to make clothes for your kids.

I'll bet you could charge $30-40 for a custom-made dress that the customer "made themselves". This wouldn't be a discount play, this would be a customized product play, and I think folks would dig it.

Disclaimer: I have totally not checked to see if anyone is doing this business already. Not that this would stop someone else from doing...I'm just sayin'...

So, there you go. Someone go do this idea and make a bunch of money. Then buy me lunch. I love lunch. :-)

* quote totally stolen from the movie, Night Shift, 1982

** I'd totally be happy with the .1 by itself!

*** This trend totally missed me...I'm lucky to get a button back on when they fall off!

A Sticky Situation

2007-10-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

How would you like a needle in your blocked meridian?

Yes, please!

After almost three years of lower back pain, I've decided to give up on western medicine and turn to eastern medicine. Acupuncture in particular.

I have avoided this until now because I'm a little freaked out by it. Overall, I'm very open-minded. I'll try anything once. But when it came to long needles being shoved into my bod, my mind closed. Just a bit. But just for a little while.

I finally got to the breaking point since my latest (and best) chiropractor is leaving for Colorado to start a practice with his wife. Bastard for leaving. Bastard for leaving for Colorado. I met his replacement this week and I'm just not sure how long I'll be seeing him.

Anyway, I went for acupuncture last Friday. I got two good referrals and chose the one that was obviously a Chinese woman (from her name and accent on the phone) and the fact that she had been a doctor in China. I figured she's probably smarter than the average bear, so I gave her a try.

Our consultation began with the typical forms. Where does it hurt? What else is wrong with you? How long? Family history? Mark on the stick man where your pain is. Blah, blah, blah.

Then it diverged. We talked about my pain history and somehow got on the topic of bowel movements. Lots of details were required. Lots of questions: size, shape, frequency, consistency. TMI for this post, thankfully. Then she got out a little blue satin pillow and had me rest my wrists on it, one at a time, underside-up. She made motions like she was taking my pulse, but she poked and prodded a bit more than was was needed for a simple pulse.

After this, she told me she understood my "health condition". It seems that I have a blocked meridian right where the pain is. I also have a weak spleen and a weak liver. (oops, too many margaritas!) Acupuncture could help me. I am to go through 5 treatments and take Chinese herbs. Was I up for this? Er, sure. Why not?

I changed into the obligatory Velcro-in-back hospital gown and rested face-down on a padded table. She rubbed alcohol on seemingly random spots from my mid-back to my ankle, about seven in total. Then the needles. EEK! The needles. Yoga breath...yoga breath...WHERE IS MY YOGA BREATH? Ah...there it is. But, I really didn't need it. I only felt ONE needle. Of course, it was the one that went into where my pain is located - left-side, lower back.

Then she gave me a walkie-talkie (in case I decided to freak out) and left for 20 minutes.

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows what I did next. What did I do? Do you know?

Of course. I looked. Which is not easy to do when you are face-down and the needles on in your backside. I looked and I saw....

TINY! They were TINY! Maybe 2 inches long! For some reason, I was expecting sharp, foot-long, metal needles, waving in the breeze from my poor, tender leg-flesh. But these looked, well, just silly. They weren't even metal, they were white plastic. They looked like those plastic toothpicks that you can buy at Walgreen's. Hell, maybe they were.

Assured that I wasn't too much of a shish-kabob, I settled in a fell fast asleep. Hey, you put me face-down, I fall sleep.

I woke up when she came back. She took them out, pop, pop, pop, and helped me up. I got my herbs* and headed out.

So how do I feel? I feel the same. But I'll try a few more times before I give up. I'm goofy that way.

*Obviously, the mix of herbs was an "ancient Chinese secret". I asked her several times and all she would say is that it was special mix, made especially for me, of 12 different herbs. All legal, darn it.

Mattress Shopping - A Decision is Made!

2007-10-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

After going through Mattress Hell, it took us a while to venture back into anything remotely resembling a mattress store. Well, all of three days.

We went to that mecca of all things homely, er, I mean, home-y: Nebraska Furniture Mart (imagine a booming echo while saying those 3 words)

We had done some research on the Tempur-Pedic beds, and wanted to check one of those out. FYI - it's really, really hard to determine the differences between mattresses on the web. They are just one of those things you have to go SEE. And I wasn't sure if I would like the memory foam stuff - that seemed kind of hot and weird to me.

Anyway, I had a few of the "lower" priced Tempur-Pedic (TP) beds marked to check out. Please notice the quotes around "lower"...these beds range from $1500 - $7000. Yowsa!

We first practice-slept on some 'regular' beds, in order to get a baseline. Control freak much? Yeah, I know. Shut up.

Then we got onto a lower-end TP bed. Hmmm....not so bad. They actually feel like a waterbed filled with gel.

The salesdude walked over to check on us. We shooed him away. Not ready yet.

Then we tried the middle-range bed (the "Rhapsody" if you're keeping score at home). Wow. Yes, I think we actually said, "Wow". It felt good. Firm, but not rigid. Soft but not smooshy.

Again, I'm channelling that Goldilocks vibe here...

Salesdude was back. Said lots of great things about the bed. We asked some questions. He gave some answers.

We actually liked the TP pillows too. Uh-oh...my mind started tallying up the prices. The pillows are a hefty $100+ each! But my back told my mind to shut the f&*#% up.

It could be delivered the next day. The next day was Friday. I was off and would be at home. There was no excuse not to, so we bought the bed.

Ka-ching! Let's just say we could have bought about 3 'regular' beds with the money we spent.
Yeah, Dave Ramsey would be horrified. Whatever.

A couple notes about these types of beds:
1. When you get them home, the memory foam stuff gives off a chemical odor for about 3 days. Opening the windows and turning on a fan helps. It's not super bad, but it was a very weird smell. The salesdude warned us, luckily, or we might have freaked.

2. You have to "break-in" the mattress. Minds out of the gutter, please! Ahem. We had to get on the bed and walk around on it. Both of us. To music. Okay, that last part we improvised. And we had Alex walk on our pillows to break them in. That was Big Fun and he slept like a babe after all that exercise.

2a. If you get the pillows, you need to break them in to. We totally spaced this and had sore necks the first morning, because the pillows were like rocks. After break-in, they are much better.

3. You have to "break-in" your body to the mattress. I am used to tossing and turning all night long. With this mattress, you don't really need to do that. It's actually HARDER to toss and turn, since it's like the gel water bed. This took us about a week to get used to - and I'll be honest, we had some hard nights.

4. If you sleep "hot", you won't need a comforter anymore. I never thought I "slept hot", but after waking up feeling like I had a heating pad under me, I realized that I was cooking myself. The memory foam is denser than typical fabric, and you lay in place longer. Thus...burnt ends.

5. You will absolutely NOT KNOW if your sleeping partner gets up out of bed. This bed doesn't even flince when someone moves on it. I believe this is a good thing.

6. I AM a bit horrified at how much we spent, but you sleep 6-8 hours a day. About a third or fourth of your day is spent in bed, so why not be comfortable?

Sweet Dreams! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Goofy's Must-See TV

2007-10-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Look out, she's got a DVR! She's got the remote and she's willing to use it. No one move!

I've been happily recording and watching some of the fall premieres for the past two weeks. Here's what I like (and don't like so much):

Reaper - LOVE it. The dry, goofy humor DOES remind me of Buffy, as some critics have noted (a moment of silence for the Slayer, please). The main character is a perfect mix of goofy cuteness mixed with just outright dork. And his sidekick is Jack Black's twin. And the scary versus silly mix is just right.
DVR Status: DVR-Worthy!

Bionic Woman - Liked the first ep a LOT. I'm a closet Battlestar Galactica fan, so the fact that Starbuck is in this series was a pleasant surprise. I like the way they've 'spun' the story a little bit differently than the original. And I really like the actress that plays Jamie - she's very good.
DVR Status: DVR Worthy for now...will decide after next ep.

Chuck - I really WANTED to like Chuck, but I didn't so much. It wasn't nearly as funny as Reaper, and quite frankly I keep confusing the two. Both main characters work in a 'big box' store (a Best Buy-type store versus a Home Depot-type store), they both have sidekicks and they both have love interests way cuter than they would have in real life. Plus they both have new "roles" that they don't want (Reaper - working for the devil; Chuck - working for the CIA).
DVR Status: It's touch and go. This one may go bye-bye after this week.

Moonlight - ERROR! I recorded this last Friday and fired it up over the weekend to watch. I ended up with the end of a college football game instead. RATS!
DVR Status: Error. Will try again.

Journeyman - Caught this show tonight. Really, really liked it. I read that you have to have more than an 8th grade education to understand the show. This is true. And it's well worth having to pay close attention. Lots of potential for this show, if they don't get Quantum-Leap-goofy on us.
DVR status: This wasn't on my original list of shows to DVR, but it's been added!

Kitchen Nightmares - I saw the BBC version of this show and really liked it. But I haven't had the excitement to watch the American version. I might not have time. The BBC version was good, but I ended up feeling sorry for the restaurant owners as Gil cussed and berated them. He's definitely got the 'tough love' thing going on.
DVR Status: In danger of being deleted.

Dancing with the Stars - Okay, so it's not technically a premiere, since it's been on a few times before, but it's a guilty pleasure and I'm watching it. The must-see dancers are: The Cheetah Girl (sorry, don't know her name, nor what a 'cheetah girl' is, but she's damn fun to watch), and Helio, the racecard driver (goofy, but hot in a goofy way - excellent dancer!). Wayne Newton was a BIG disappointment - it's like watching your grandfather dance. Badly.
DVR status: This is a keeper.

Survivor: China - Again, not technically a premiere, but I've been a Survivor fan from the beginning and this season (two eps now) has got me hooked. Mark Burnett continues to change this show up each season so that it's still exciting and interesting to watch. This season has a host of very unique personalities.
DVR Status: It's there until the finale.

Is there anything I'm missing that I must see? Please don't recommend sitcoms or any show with a laugh-track. I just can't stomach those anymore.

Mattress Shopping = Visit to Hell

2007-09-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

We need a new mattress. Our first clue to this was the two, large, body-sized divots that are worn in our mattress where Mr. Goofy and I sleep. We don't quite roll into each other in the middle when we get into bed, but that day is coming soon.

Add to this the need to greet sleepover guest with more than an air mattress and pump and the need for an upgrade is obvious.

First I did some Internet research. I was curious about the Sleep Number bed, mainly because I would prefer to sleep on a rock, while Mr. Goofy would prefer a featherbed. They don't advertise the PRICE of these crazy beds, which averages around $3000. Yow! Also, they are basically air matresses. And the reviews are really quite mixed. So we quickly nixec the SN bed.

Where to shop for a mattress? If it hadn't been Race Weekend, I would have headed to Nebraska Furniture Mart.* But I looked at the NFM ad anyway, to get some ideas of what options I had.

There was 'Deluxe Queen Pillowtop' for $399. And 'Deluxe Pillowtop' (Queen sized) for $649. The only diff appeared to be 'Deep Sleep' versus 'Beautyrest'. I'll take 'Deep Sleep' over 'Beautyrest' anytime, but that was the cheaper option. Too cheap?

Then there was Firm/Plush versus Plush/Firm. Excuse me, but isn't "Plush" the EXACT OPPOSITE of "Firm"?! And does order matter? Obviously so, because the "Plush first" was $200 more.

My head was spinning now. Visco foam? Visco/latex foam? These mattress marketing folks really like slashes, don't they? Pillowtop? Super pillowtop? Euro pillowtop (do I get an espresso with it?)? How much pillowtop does one need for a 'deep sleep'? How about for a 'beautyrest'?

I should have known better, but Mr. Goofy wanted to go visit a store. We chose Mattress Firm (get the clever pun? Groan.). An eager salesdude asked immediately greeted us and asked us about firmness. (This HAS to be an embarrassing job to have). We unaminously said "Firm". He proceeded to have us practice-sleep on a "firm" bed. Which was WAY softer than our existing bed.

"Firmer," we said, with visions of Goldilocks in our heads. We wanted Papa Bear's bed, not Mama Bear's!

He pointed the way to the back of the store. Do normal people sleep on beds with the consistency of Marshmallow Fluff? Were we freaks for wanting something firmer than pudding?

There were three beds that fit our Firmness demands: Simmons, Stearns & Foster, and Tempurpedic. The first bed was too poofy. The second bed was too giggly. The third bed was like laying on a wonderfully supportive cloud...but too f-ing expensive. I'm talking $6000. For that price it should do my laundry, walk the dog and make me breakfast, too.

So we practice-sleeped and practice-sleeped. And Goofy Junior jumped from bed to bed to bed to bed to bed...ad nauseum. It seemed that he was the only one having fun in Hell, er, I mean the Mattress Store.

We eventually escaped and I came home and layed on our current bed. And no, it's not a super pillowtop, visco/latex/plush/firm/euro/espresso-serving cloud. But it works. So it looks like the air mattress might be around for a little while longer. Until we get the energy to return to Hell and go mattress shopping again.

*Note to non-Kansas Citians: The NE Furn. Mart is in close vicinity to our NASCAR track. On race weekend, you can't get within a 10 minute radius without running into race-crazed crowds. Um, no thanks.

Blah!

2007-09-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those days where you feel like the world has pooped on you? I'm having one of those.

I feel furious, hopeless and tired, all at the same time.

Blah.

p.s. Maybe things will improve tomorrow. I'll write more then. Be happy that your day has to be going better than mine.

Would you like some Brains with that?

2007-08-19T18:28:00.001-07:00

Check out the video, then think about what you would do.
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/17/care-for-a-brain-chip/

p.s. You'll have to read the comments on the Freakonomics blog to see my decision.

When Less is More

2007-08-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to ask for something, and I took it.

The client manager where I am currently working as a contractor asked for me to reduce my hours slightly, so she can adjust to a recent budget cut. I'm thrilled to death that there is still a place for me here, so I agreed. Her request was that I work 14 less days between Sept 1st and the end of the year. Now I love vacation as much as the next person does, but I don't have that much! Nor do I have the money to travel, nor do I have anyplace to go. What to do? What to do?

Then the Devil That Sits on My Left Shoulder (DTSoMLS) whispered in my ear, "Here's your chance...take Fridays off through the end of the year."

The Angel That Sits on My Right Shoulder (ATSoMRS) was horrified. "How will that look? They will think you are not taking your work seriously! And anyway, they would never let you do that!"

But, Me, being in the middle of this debate, thought it was an interesting idea. The client couldn't disagree - she had ASKED me to do this. The problem was lack of vacation days. Then the Devil spoke again.

"Ask to take the time off UNPAID."

Unpaid?!?! What the...!?!?!? Hmmmm... Wait a second. That's not a bad idea.

So...I gathered the data, prepared my case and ASKED.

And...be careful what you ask for. I got a "Yes"! I didn't even have to push much. Just a little.

And, as it turns out, I have quite a few vacation days left. How it's going to play out is that I'm going to use vacay days until they are gone, then the rest of the Fridays will be unpaid. This will add up to a whopping 2-3 days unpaid for the year. Big Whoop. 2-3 days multiplied by my daily pittance..er, income, in exchange for Fridays off for the rest of the year? Hey, sign me up!

So I signed up.

Now the Angel wouldn't let me get off easy. She insisted that, "you must accomplish one big thing each Friday that you are off." And I agreed that it was a good idea.

Then the Devil chimed in, "Oh yeah! Well she also needs to do one fun thing each Friday that she is off."

Then we all had a group hug and a big smile at what we had accomplished.

A Goofy Experiment

2007-08-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

The Goofy household was becoming the Chubby household, so I took matters into hand and decided that we would go bread/pizza/rice/pasta-free for one week. An experiment of sorts. This was decided on Sunday night. We had some chicken and a vegetable for dinner. Easy enough.

Then Monday came.

Lunch was hard. No sandwiches....eek! No slice of pizza from Whole Foods (my favorite 'no brainer' lunch). And no Pei Wei (most dishes come with rice or noodles). I ended up going to Pei Wei anyway and getting Lettuce Wraps. Score!

Dinner was hard too. We ended up each having something different. I had a salad with some of the leftover chicken on top. Goofy Junior (who had a free pass from the experiment) had a PB&J sandwich. Mr. Goofy had soup.

Rinse and repeat.

Roundabout Thursday, as Mr. Goofy was falling asleep on the couch at 6:00pm and I was getting ready to yell at him for doing it, we realized...we live on Carbs. Very few items in our pantry are NOT carbs. In fact, we have a full shelf dedicated to pasta of every shape and size and pasta sauces. We have several types of bread. We typically have pizza once or twice a week, and Mexican at least once. We eat sandwiches quite a bit. And toast. And grilled cheese. We rarely eat just 'meat n' potatoes'. And veggies are an afterthought.

So the lack of our beloved carbs was:
(A) Making Mr. Goofy sleepy, and thus, crabby
(B) Making me bitchy
(C) Confusing the hell out of Goofy Junior
(D) Making my back feel better (something about glutens causing inflammation - my doc confirmed that this was a good experiment for me)

So, alas, Mr. Goofy withdrew from the experiment. I persisted, as I was not as tired and was actually starting to see some good results in the form of a weight I haven't seen in about 4 years. Since he wasn't crabby, I wasn't as bitchy (funny how that works). And we are both more aware now of how what you eat effects your mood.

Goofy Thinks

2007-07-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

With all the craziness going on with work lately (WAY too many stories to vomit back up here), I came up with a goofy thought today:

What would happen if I quit my job?

Hmmm....well, first of all FEAR. Yikes! No money coming in. But...I DID just get a bonus. And we still have some money left from the sale of our old house. I could survive on jelly sandwiches for a while (I don't like peanut butter). And if I couldn't get a business started on my own quickly, I could always get a part-time job somewhere and make some sort of money.

Second, there's also our second adoption that's in process. What about that? I don't think it would be a big deal...we qualify without my income. I checked this last time our social worker visited. I was just curious, and now I'm glad I asked. To adopt, you have to have household income of 125% of poverty line for your state. We are in Kansas and our poverty line is $17,170. Yeah, I was pretty shocked at how low that was too! We might have to re-do paperwork. Or we could just keep quiet and follow the 'if no one asks, we won't tell' philosophy.

The third issue is Burnt Bridges. I work for a company (A) that has placed me at another company (B) to do contract work. Company A can kiss my ass. I don't care about burnt bridges there. At all. However, Company B could be a potential future employer or future client, and/or folks that I work with may be those that I would want to reach out to in the future for business, mentoring or a free lunch (see jelly sandwiches, above). So I'm a bit concerned about that. But just a bit. A teensy-tiny bit.

I read an article recently that likened starting a business to learning how to swim. Sure, you can go the pool, dip your toe in, dry off, go home. Then come back the next day, dip a foot in, dry off, go home. Or you can overcome your fear and jump in. Provided, of course, you have an idea of how to swim and have some good help there, if you need it (a life preserver of sorts). I've been dipping my toe in for about 10 years now. It's freaking soggy! But...I just might be in the market for a swimsuit soon!

Done with Harry? Now what?!

2007-07-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

Me personally...I'm not done with Harry. I'm taking my darn, sweet time. I just watched HP4 last night. I plan on going to see HP5 in the theatres sometime this week. Then I will (hopefully) receive HP6 and HP7 in the mail from Amazon.com. I've already read HP6, but I want to re-read it again. Then, and only then, will I pick up and lovingly read HP7. I can't wait!

I want to wallow in all things wizardly. Yep, I'm OCD like that. And I rarely eat my dessert first.

So, I'm petrified that someone will spoil HP7 for me. I'm afraid to go to the theatre to see HP5, for fear that some blabbermouth fan will bust out with "Hey did you know how it all ends? Well, let me tell you? ...blah, blah, blah". SHUDDER.

Anyway, even though I'm not 1/2 way through my Harry Plan, I've already started looking for the next big thing. I've found a few books that are similar in theme and tone as the HP books. If you're interested, they are:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - think Harry Potter with Greek Gods instead of wizards
The Bartimaeus Trilogy - a young magician and a smart-assed demon; very well-written

I read the Percy Jackson series in about two weeks. There are three books out now, and more to come. The Bart Trilogy I am listening to on audio. I would highly recommend the audio - there are lots of characters and the narrator does a good job of keeping them all straight and sounding different.

Happy reading, whatever you are reading!

Goofy Takes a Class

2007-07-19T12:32:00.000-07:00

Is it Goofy to take a 'Soup & Stew" class in the middle of summer? Why of course it is. And that's exactly what I did last night.

I went to a place called the KC Culinary Center (http://www.kcculinary.com/) in downtown Overland Park. It was not a hands-on class, so basically we just watched the chef create wonderful, delicious stuff, while we sipped wine and had some breadsticks, cornbread and foccacia.

We learned how to make Beef Stew, 5-Onion French Onion Soup (complete with garlic crouton and Gruyere cheese on top), New England Clam Chowder (surprisingly easy!), and Chicken Noodle Soup (with homemade noodles).

On that last one, there was a bit of pasta-making. Pasta dough is easy: flour and eggs. Stir a bit, roll out, cut with pizza cutter. So far so good. But then you have to let the noodles "dry" for 2 hours. Goofy has no patient for slow food. The chef asked, "Is this too hard for anyone?" Of course, I raised my hand. I asked, "What is you just want dumplings instead?" The answer? No drying! Just make the dough, spoon and drop into the boiling soup. So Goofy will be making Chicken DUMPLING soup, thankyouverymuch.

He also threw in a recipe for quick Drop Biscuits that I definitely will be using. Bisquik? YUK.

All the soups were yummy. I met some interesting folks, had a glass of wine and had a blast! I can't decide which soup to make first. They were all yummy and fairly simply. I might go for the Stew recipe - that one was hearty enough to be a meal alone.

So, Dear Readers...What have YOU learned to do lately?

I am a Dork

2007-07-17T19:18:00.001-07:00

Such plans I had! They were perfect. Until they weren't.

I read Harry Potter before Harry Potter was cool. Bet you haven't heard of Percy Jackson. He's the next cool Potteresque dude. Check him out here. But I digress...

So, anyway, I am obviously looking forward to the seventh and last Harry Potter book (insert teary eyes here). In preparation, I had a plan:

1. Rent movie - Harry Potter #5
2. Go to theatre to see Harry Potter #6
3. Read book - Harry Potter #7

...all within the same week, thus making for a Harry Potter Extravaganza of the highest order. I had my butter beer and chocolate frogs at the ready, but alas...

Does anyone see the giant FLAW in my plan? See it? SEE IT?

There is no Harry Potter #6 movie! Yet. #6 is Half-Blood Prince and it's not due out until November 2008. The movie available for rental would be #4 (Goblet of Fire) and the movie in the theatres is #5 - Order of the Phoenix. Then INSERT BIG GAPING HOLE HERE ...then #7 book (Deathly Hallows).

I have to READ #6! Which is totally okay, but it will add an few days to my plan. But there's no way I can do all that by Saturday night. If you've been living in the Chamber of Secrets, midnight Saturday night is when book #7 arrives.

And, just to add a Dark Mark on my perfect plan, the Goofy family reunion is this weekend. We will be driving to Azkaban, Iowa on Friday. There will be no midnight madness at Border's on Saturday night (Cagey, you gotta represent for me, yo!).

If my perfect plan had been, er..perfect, I would be surfing the 'net for a Borders in Iowa. But alas, I will be reading #6 on Saturday instead of #7.

At least I have some good driving time in which to read. I promise only to read while I'm not driving, okay? I'm just not ready to join Moaning Myrtle yet.

Cheers!

Goofy is Furious

2007-07-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am furious. I am not furious often. I am usually goofy. But I am now furious. Half of my blood is Irish, so furious is not a small thing. It is a big thing. I am FURIOUS.

Why?

Let me tell you.

I was talking to my manager this afternoon. He mentioned that someone in our department had mentioned that it was odd that I was out of the office "so much recently". I suppose "so much recently" means being an hour or so late on Monday, then having a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and busting my butt to get there by 10:30am. Neither of which I will post as billable time.

The "someone" is yet un-named, although I have my suspects. I'm furious because, c'mon, if I wanted to punch a timeclock, I would work for McDonald's. I'm a professional. I'm in my forties. Do I really need to put in "face time" to be productive? Does this "someone" see how much I work in my home office? Do I really need to be "seen" to be productive? How 80's is this entire topic?

I left the office with a smirk on my face. Whatever. They can kiss my ass. Then, as I started thinking about this more on the drive home, the Furious came out.

Jeez. There's been some shit coming down for the past year regarding my current work situation and I'm thinking this is the straw that broke Goofy's back. Normally I would just blow this off, but I can't. It's stuck under my skin and won't go away.

What's SO ironic about this is...I'm a contractor. All the regular employees get a once a week "work from home" day. I don't. I haven't minded. So some idiot decides to mention that I'm "not in the office" much this week. Why in the world do they care?

I'm thinking...life is too short for shit like this...

NOTE: I posted this last night, then deleted it today, then decided WTF and re-posted it. I'm not as peeved today.

Busy Goofy Catches Up. Kinda.

2007-07-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been way too busy to blog. Since May. Or maybe I just haven't had anything blog-worthy. Or maybe a bit of both. Either way...I am BACK! Please hold your applause until the end.

I'll try to catch you up on all the Goofy Goings-On, but it might take a few posts. So my plan is to post shorter, more frequent posts. So here goes...

The latest fun in the Goofy household is the arrival yesterday of Alex's NEW TWIN BED! And HEADBOARD! With SIX-DRAWER DRESSER! And matching MIRROR!

...all in five flat boxes which appeared on our driveway. Gulp. Annie get yer screwdriver.

No boxes were damaged in shipping. This is good. But each one weighs about 70 pounds. So they will inevitably be damaged by one of us trying to move them. We will have to tear the boxes apart in the garage (their current location, after Mr. Goofy dragged them in from the driveway), and carry the contents upstairs to Alex's room.

I foresee a few walls being dinged.

And of course, our pride as parents is on the line. I'm sure at some point Alex will ask, "Do you guys know how to put this together?" He's in that annoying "question your parents' knowledge" stage, so everywhere we go its, "Do you know where you're going?" "You don't know how to get there." "You don't know how to do that", "You're lost", etc. It's funny, at first, then it starts to get under your skin.

So, the Goofy weekend will be filled with much unpacking of parts and pieces, much swearing, probably an injury or two, and hopefully, in the end, a new bed for Alex.

...which he will promptly roll out of in the middle of the night. And then blame us for putting it together wrong. Sigh.

The Family Fun Jar

2007-05-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I decided that, in the interests of financial education for my then three-year-old son, we would start a Family Fun Jar.

First off, three year olds have NO IDEA about money. I had to sit him down and teach him what a penny was. And I caught him throwing away a dollar bill, because, "it wasn't money." (he thought only coins were money)

So I figured he should learn early. Robert Kiyosaki would be proud.*

I found a blue plastic container that had a small, round hole in the lid. I taped the lid shut, and marked a line about 3/4 from the top of the container. Then I herded up Alex and Mr. Goofy for a family meeting.

I christined it the "Family Fund Jar". Okay it wasn't a Jar, but "Family Fund Blue Plastic Container with Scotch-Taped Lid So No One Cheats" just didn't roll off the tongue. All our spare change would go into the FFJ. When we reached the line, we would all get together and decide how to spend our fun money! Big Fun at the Goofy household!

We went through drawers, pockets, car ashtrays, wallets, the laundry room and just about every place that spare change hides. Alex carefully put all the change into the Family Fun Jar.

...and it reached about 1/12 of the way from the bottom of the FFJ. Mommy had picked too gigantic of a container for the FFJ. Or over-estimated how much loose change we had lying around.

Anyway, we've been donating to the FFJ for about 6 months now. I fear that the lesson will be lost if I wait too long for the reward of spending the FFFJ.

So....I need your ideas! Dinner and a movie is what comes to my mind, but Alex nixes it. He wants to use it to "go to the zoo and a park". Er, that stuff is free, dude. He's still got a lot to learn.

Anyway, ideas! Ideas! Something that will be memorable. That Alex can look back on and think, "Wow! We saved our money and got to do XYZ. That was so cool!"

Oh, and I have no idea how much money is actually in the FFJ. I found a whole bunch of dollar bills that went through the laundry and those got added recently, which helped. If I had to take a wild guess, we probably have $50 in there. So don't suggest a trip to Disneyworld, cause that won't even get us in the parking lot.

*If you haven't read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" go do it. Now! A very important book for anyone alive.

Sweet!

2007-04-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

I got this comment from lorib in regard to my "What would you ask for, if you knew you would get it?" post:

Follow-up: I forwarded this to D because he had a former, much-loved intern going through her first job search and getting low-ball offers. D encouraged her to ask for more money and also sent her this post. I have no idea if she read it, but she did ask for more money and got it. You may have helped put one young woman on the right track at the start of her career.

This just made my day. No, scratch that. This just made MY WEEK!

I love it!

Keep it up! If nothing else, we will all make more money. That can't be bad!

...and just so you know I "walk the walk"...here's my tale:

Friday night we went to our favorite Italian restaurant. It was around 7:30pm and, of course, the place was crowded. We were told we had a 20 minute wait. After about 5 minutes, Alex starts getting restless. Since we are standing there looking at 2 empty tables in the bar, and a foursome eating at the third, I said, "let's ask if we can sit in the bar". Two minutes later, we walked past all the other poor (silent) suckers waiting for their table and sat in a nice, roomy table in the bar. And, no, no one was smoking...they were all just waiting for other tables! It was sweet!

Keep it up! I want MORE stories!

A Friday the 13th Story

2007-04-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

I said something to a co-worker today about it being Friday the 13th, and they asked me, "Oh, are you superstition?". Hmmm... I didn't know how to answer!

I happily stand under ladders, I socialize with black cats (if they are nice), and I just plain try to stay out of graveyards, so there's no risk of me walking over someone's grave.

However...

I do listen to the universe.

Okay you new age goofy freak, what does that mean?

I think there are signs around us that give us guidance about whether we are going in the right direction or not. You might call it "God", "karma", "Gaia" or even "shit happens".

Mr. Goofy and I grew up in the same city. But we did not meet until we were in high school. But after comparing notes over the years, we have come to realize that our paths intersected many, many times over the years. YMCA camp, field trips, common friends...we found a scary amount of examples that prove to me that we were meant to meet. [insert Twlight Zone theme here]

The best example of this was when we adopted our son. Regardless of what you might read, when you meet your adopted child for the first time, angels do not come down from the heavens and you do not hear trumpets, violins, nor kazoos playing. You just stare at each other and think, "Jeez, is this the one?"

So when we traveled to Russia for the first time to meet our new son, we were listening. For a sign. Anything. So we would know if were on the right track. There's a lot of of scaryness related to adopting internationally. You have no real medical history. It can be lied about. If the parents are not married, the dad is not put on the birth certificate, so you have no idea of his medical history. There is a big risk of fetal alcohol syndrome, especially with all the readily-accessible vodka. And sexually-transmitted diseases are pretty common and can be transferred to the child of a pregnant mom.

Unlike China, when you travel to Russia, you do not get many details regarding the child they have selected for you. The "expecting parents" for China get pictures, names, ages, and details. We got a hearty, "C'mon over, we have a boy selected for you". How old? Name? "Just c'mon over and meet him." Um...okay.

So, of course, one of the first question friends and family asked was, "Well, what are you going to name him?" We were very open to keeping his given name, provided it "worked" in America. Our comment was typically, "Well, if it's something like Vladamir, we will probably change it. But if it's something like Alexander, then that would work here and we will keep it."

The first details you get about your "referral" are in Russia. We met with the Director of the Ministry of Education. He had a file in his hand. He pulled out a picture of a bouncing baby boy. Obviously a boy, as the child was buck naked, all his boy parts showing, with a goofy grin on his face.

"His name is Alexander," the Director said. And that was all we needed to know.

The universe spoke.

We heard.

What would you ask for, if you knew you would get it?

2007-04-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

Since moving to our new house, I have realized how much I missed our house cleaner. We fired her when we started doing open houses every Sunday at the old house, since we would scrub the place top-to-bottom Sunday morning, then she would come on Monday. We wondered what we were paying her for, so we fired her (nicely, and she refused to come clean on Friday, else we would have had her do that).

Anyway, I decided to reward the small business that left a nice, pleasing house cleaning flyer on our door. I'm becoming very jaded against large, franchised companies and starting to prefer working with small, locally-owned joints.

I called, we met at the house and walked through the house-cleaning procedure. She seemed nice and seemed willing to have her crew do WAY more than Previous Housecleaner. Change our sheets? Sweet! Dust our blinds? Rock n' Roll!

At the end, she said, "And I will call you the following day to find out how we did and see if you would like to get on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule." Wow! I was impressed. That seemed very professional and easy. I didn't have to call her back, and when she called, I could easily mention any tasks that we had forgotten to ask her to do (something that was always very ackward with Previous Housecleaner).

Then came. They cleaned. They did a great job. The house smelled good. It looked good. Mr. Goofy noticed.*

I took a few notes (very few) on some things that we forgot to tell them (we hide our bathroom trash cans under the sinks - something we got doing during the open house process and learned to love...who wants to SEE their bathroom trash all the time? Ugh. And they didn't know that and didn't empty those cans.).

And....she didn't call the next day.

Nor the next day.

The weekend came. Then went.

Monday came and I was started to get a bit peeved. All she had to do was call. And we were ready to sign up! We were even considering the weekly option, although with every minute ticking past, this option was going away. Also, over the weekend, we decided that, since they did such a good job, we would pay them to do a move-out cleaning on our old house. So whenever she called, I was ready to give her TWO PAYING JOBS!

[This is where I transition to a life lesson. Wait for it...wait for it....]

Then, last night I tripped across an interesting book called "Women Don't Ask". The premise of the book is that, by their nature, women don't like to negotiate. And it hurts them in the long term.

I could relate. I have a hard time asking for things sometime. Last time I bought a car, I negotiated the price, and I don't think I slept the night before. It was kinda painful....until you actually GET something that you are asking for, then it's wonderful!

Here's some interesting stats from the book: more here

-Men initiate negotiations about four times as often as women.

-When asked to pick metaphors for the process of negotiating, men picked "winning a ballgame" and a "wrestling match," while women picked "going to the dentist."

-Women will pay as much as $1,353 to avoid negotiating the price of a car, which may help explain why 63 percent of Saturn car buyers are women.

-20 percent of adult women (22 million people) say they never negotiate at all, even though they often recognize negotiation as appropriate and even necessary.

And I had a real-life example! All the housecleaner gal had to do was call me. A call that I was expecting. And she would have two cleaning jobs. This week!

Postscript: I finally relented and left her a message late Monday afternoon. She called me back mid-morning Tuesday, didn't ask at all about how the cleaning went (I volunteered). After the whole conversation, I think she still seemed pretty ambivalent about getting my business. Sigh.

So, Dear Readers, whether you are female or other, here is your Homework Assignment for this week: ASK SOMEONE FOR SOMETHING THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO GIVE YOU.

This could be as simple as asking for a better table at a restaurant. Or as large as asking for a raise. Look for opportunities!

The worst you can do is get denied. Keep asking. If the first person says "No", try another person.

And....let me know how it went!

*NOTE: Mr. Goofy has a mom from Germany. They grew up in a spotlessly clean house. He is anal to the max about clean. This is why I don't even TRY to clean. I ain't never winning THAT game.

Letter to Daycare-Where-Goofy-Junior-Goes

2007-04-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Idiots -
Why, oh why do you insist of selling Easter baskets ($10) and bunny ears ($5) in the main lobby of your daycare for an ENTIRE week?

Knock it off!

Signed,
Pissed-Off Goofy Girl

Every day for the past week, Goofy Junior has bee-lined to the table, picked up a basket (or the ears) and said, "I want this." OF COURSE he wants it. It's like waving raw meat in front of a tiger. Or putting a mouse in a cage with cheese all over the place. OF COURSE the tiger and the mouse want the meat and cheese, respectively. They've been looking at it all day. It's pretty. It's colorful. It's bunny-ish. They want it. Now.

So every day this week, when I pick up Junior. He asks. I say, "No". No, scratch that. I don't just say "No". I explain too.

"Junior," I say, "you have no less than THREE pairs of bunny ears at home. In several days, you will have more Easter baskets and basket contents than you could ever dream"*

(here comes the whining) "But I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT it."

(then comes the tears) "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

I have to explain to the wide-eyed dad walking in the door that we are having a "tough love day". "Been there," he grumbled, then walked briskly away.

After 15 minutes or so (no, you didn't read that wrong....FIFTEEN), Junior finally gets tired of crying. We get in the car and drive away. Three minutes later he's happily giggling and smiling, bunny ears and baskets no longer in his face.

In case you are curious, the same thing happens at Valentine's Day. I'm really glad we don't have another holiday coming any time soon.

*NOTE: Junior's grandparents are coming in this weekend, surely bearing tons of Easter sugar...er, joy.

The Glass is Half-Full, Dammit!

2007-04-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

I attended a Real Estate Investing conference this past weekend...trying to get my motivation back for This Old House (and possibly some Other Old Houses...I'm not through yet!!!). I'm a stubborn cur sometimes. (my husband would scratch out the 'sometimes')

Here's what was funny. Kinda. Our speaker on Sunday had a short segment called, "Houses NOT to Buy". My rehab house met ALMOST ALL OF THE CRITERIA. Hello? No wonder it's not selling (well, other than a flaky realtor, recurring plumbing problems, no parking, blah, blah, blah).

It read like a laundry list: Avoid houses....
-on a busy street (check!),
-with steep front yards with stairs (check!),
-with no driveway (check!),
-no off-street parking (check!),
-bad neighborhood (check!),
-no garage (check!)
-over 30 minutes drive from your home or office (check!).

Jeez. I really know how to pick 'em, huh?

But, ever the eternal optimist, here's my take-away...

I'VE MADE ALL MY MISTAKES WITH THE FIRST HOUSE! Yee-ha! What an over-achiever, I am. Now I can relax.

I know...I'm goofy. Duh. Check out the name of this blog. It's named that way for a reason.

The Best Kid's Cartoon EVER

2007-03-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

Is Peep and the Big Wide World.

Check out the theme song. I guarantee it will make you smile.

Go to the library and check out a DVD...even if you don't have any kids. If you have kids, sit down with them and watch an episode. It's friggin' hilarious stuff, my friends. You gotta chuckle at a purple duck in a sailor's hat.

Oh yeah, almost forgot....they are educational too. Bonus.

Dora has officially been de-throned. Yippee!!!

What are you waiting for?! Just watch one now.

Bear-onomics 201

2007-03-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

UPDATE on The Great Bear Debate 2007:

I found out that the bears cost $10 apiece. (this was more than I expected...for the size/quality of the bear, I was thinking more like $3 -$5...but I suppose there was the charitable component at work).

I also found out that there were 40 bears for sale. I'm not great at math, but that looks like $400 to buy all the bears. I also found out that the Bear-ophile Daddy won 3 "free week of daycare" prizes hidden in the bears' pots. If I take an average amount for daycare at our place, it's probably around $180.

So $180 * 3 weeks = $540. So Bear Lovin' Poppa got an $140 discount on daycare, a charitable deduction on his taxes (minus the $3-5 cost per bear), and 40 bears to give away to family and friends for St. Paddy's Day.

So, as much as it pains me, I have to go with option a) Savvy businessman.

Bastard.

Bear-onomics*

2007-03-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Our daycare is doing a fund raising drive for charity. Yesterday, when I went to pick up Goofy Junior, there was a table by the front door filled with St. Patrick's Day-themed, little stuffed bears, each with a little black pot with a paper in it. Being a diligent reader of the daycare newsletter (fun reading, y'all), I knew that in one of those pots was a FREE WEEK OF DAYCARE. Not a small prize for us working parents!

I didn't have my wallet with me, so I inquired, "how long will the bears be on sale?". "All week" was the answer.

So, I traipsed into daycare this afternoon, wallet in hand, ready to claim my bear. I had promised one to Goofy Junior the previous day, when he saw the aforementioned Table o' Bears.

But, when I entered the building....an empty table greeted me. No bears. No signs. Where the #&*% were the bears?! I asked Daycare Worker #1....no idea. I asked Daycare Worker #2...and she had the answer.

Some dad had done the math. He multiplied the price of the bears, times the cost of each bear, and compared that with the cost of one week of daycare. And....

The bastard bought all the bears. All of them. Every last fucking bear.

I think my jaw hit the floor....and I was immediately conflicted by two emotions:

a) Shock. He bought all the bears?! What about MY bear? How would I explain to GJ that some cheap dork bought all the bears?

then...

b) Jealousy. Why didn't *I* think of this? I could have gotten a cheaper week of daycare. Dammit.

Then I thought further...The dude actually helped the daycare achieve their goal...they DID sell all the bears. And they did get the donation for charity.

But...what about us "late parents" who didn't have their wallet on Monday? We have money burning a hole in our pockets for a bear. We want a bear dammit!

If you've read the book, "Freakonomics", this is a lot like the after-hours daycare scenario. A daycare had a problem with parents picking up late, so they decided to start charging for late pickups. They decided to charge $3 for a late pickups. Late pickups promptly went up. Yes, up!

As any parent reading this could tell you, well, DUH!...it's well worth $3 to have someone you trust watch your kid for an extra 15-30 minutes, while you run errands, work a bit more, pick up some milk at the store, etc. They grossly underestimated the value of that extra time!

...or that extra bear, if you take the analogy back to my story above.

So, Innernets, chime in!

Was the Bear-Buying Dad:
a) A savvy businessmen who knew a good opportunity when he saw it
b) A selfish dude who stole other kids' opportunity to bring home a bear
c) A bear-loving freak

*All apologies to the way-more-smarter-than-I authors of Freakonomics.

We've got to move it, move it...

2007-03-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Moving. Ugh. That should be the content of this post. But I will elaborate, because I wanna.

We headed to closing Thursday afternoon. After circling the block several times in search of the title company, I called and realized they gave us the wrong address. Fortunately, real address was fairly close to wrong address.

Signed piles of documents. Got to the Big Boy document (HUD-1). Numbers were wrong. Not in our favor, of course. Much calling and emailing ensued. Finally numbers were right. In our favor. Lady assisting us asked if I was an Accountant. "You are very detailed," she said. * I wondered how many people just sign the docs and don't actually READ them. Scary.

Left closing table. Went to This Old House (TOH) and loaded up some things to bring to This New House (TNH). Also grabbed Goofy Junior, so he could feel like he was "Moving" and not "Being Moved".**

Dropped off stuff at TNH, went to dinner.

Went back to TOH, put Junior to bed. Then the fun started. Packing, packing, packing. Moving boxes into the garage. Separating what Movers got to move versus what we got to move. In the end, there was way too much stuff for us to move. Making mental note for next time we move. Ow, my aching back.

Anyway. Next morning 5:00am: Up and at 'em! Much disconnecting: TV, stereo, computer, fridge, washer, dryer, sanity.

Movers showed up at 8:15am. At 9:00am, one mover somehow tripped, and in the process broke his ankle and our entertainment center. Let the fun begin!

We gave Broken Mover an icepack and waited for Replacement for Broken Mover. For the rest of the day, many jokes were made between the other movers regarding Broken Mover. "Ouch, I think I broke my ankle" was the joke of the day. I suppose you have to have tough skin to be mover.

Then we are at TNH, with all our Stuff. Ridiculous amounts of Stuff. Still packed. Staring at us, waiting. We collapsed in a heap of sweaty, tired Goofiness. 10 minutes later, Grammy and Grampy Goofy showed up. Bearing more Stuff. AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

After my nervous breakdown, we made some coffee and had cake.

The End

* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

** NOTE: This is a BIG DEAL to a toddler. They want to know The Plan. If they don't know The Plan, much whining and crying may occur. And yeah, it's a PITA sometimes, but always worth to include him.