Since this topic has generated more comments than I've had in a long time, (plus it's fun) I'm going to roll with the dream theme some more.
There's a funny thing I like to do when I'm at a party or get-together that involved both men and women. First, get the topic to turn to dreams. Then ask:
Are you ever NOT yourself in a dream?
Then sit back and watch all the women nod "yes" while most the men look confused. I've done this many times, with the same result. I can't explain it! Women are often not themselves in dreams...men rarely are. The exceptions to this that I've found are very right-brained men (graphic designers, artists, etc.).
Of course, I'm stereotyping horribly with this "finding", so forgive me if you are a male science teacher that often dreams he is a dog. If so...My bad.
I am actually rarely myself in my dreams. I am often animals, clouds, birds, and even men. I'm often just omnipotent and watching as the story occurs. I've always thought this was because I had low self-confidence, and that I could just not picture myself doing some things as myself. As I've gotten older (and gained some chutzpa!) I actually am myself more in my dreams. It's still only 1 out of about 12 dreams.
The best dream I've ever had was one in which I was a large, person-sized bird. And I was flying. It was extremely real and it felt so good. I could feel my wing-muscles pump as I flew, then glided through the sky. I looked down at the ground beneath me and was not scared a bit of the height. Because I was a bird, of course. Birds aren't scared of heights. It was an amazing feeling. I imagine the only thing that might come close would be hang-gliding, which I hope to do someday, to compare of course.
Are you ever NOT yourself in a dream? Who are you? What do you make of all this? Am I full of shit, or do I have some book material here?
Monday, January 23, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Goofy Dreams
Okay, enough class participation. Now I'm depressed that I'm stuck in the boring midwest, with sleet and snow looming.
So here's a random goofy thought - the absolute worst dream I've ever had. It was three years ago and I can still remember the entire dream vividly. It shook me up for about a week.
So here it is...
I'm sleeping. Some noise wakes me up. I get up and walk over to our bedroom windows to look out. We have three bedroom windows and all the shades are open, so I can get a good view. It's somewhat light outside and a weird grey color. Off in the distance, I see a large mushroom cloud gradually rising towards the sky. Then I see that there is a flurry of destructive activity on the ground, starting from the mushroom cloud and headed towards our house. Headed very fast towards our house. I stand there in awe, thinking, "So this is the end" and "I wonder who the hell started THIS". I want to turn around and tell my husband (who is now standing behind me) goodbye, as well as take one last look at my dogs, but I cannot tear my eyes away from the ballooning cloud and the destruction racing towards me. I feel fear in my heart.
Then I wake up.
So here's a random goofy thought - the absolute worst dream I've ever had. It was three years ago and I can still remember the entire dream vividly. It shook me up for about a week.
So here it is...
I'm sleeping. Some noise wakes me up. I get up and walk over to our bedroom windows to look out. We have three bedroom windows and all the shades are open, so I can get a good view. It's somewhat light outside and a weird grey color. Off in the distance, I see a large mushroom cloud gradually rising towards the sky. Then I see that there is a flurry of destructive activity on the ground, starting from the mushroom cloud and headed towards our house. Headed very fast towards our house. I stand there in awe, thinking, "So this is the end" and "I wonder who the hell started THIS". I want to turn around and tell my husband (who is now standing behind me) goodbye, as well as take one last look at my dogs, but I cannot tear my eyes away from the ballooning cloud and the destruction racing towards me. I feel fear in my heart.
Then I wake up.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
More Class Participation
I had so much fun with yesterday's post, I'm going to do blogger laziness class participation again.
Here's today's question (not so cerebral, more emotional this time):
If you could go anywhere in the world for a 7-day vacation (all-expenses-paid and trustworthy babysitter included) where would you go? What would you do? Who would you bring?
My answer:
I don't have one yet. I'm currently trying to plan my adventure trip for 2006 and I'm still deciding. Of course, money is an object right now, so that limits me within North America.
I have always wanted to go to Alaska, so that might win this year. There's also the Grand Canyon, which, believe it or not, I've never seen. And British Columbia is supposed to be beautiful.
And if you're curious, if money were no object, hands-down I would go to New Zealand. No contest there.
So think about it and weigh in. Then ask yourself: What's keeping me from going?
Dinner note: Today's supper was Honey-Pineapple Pork Chops with Cranberry Walnut Cous Cous. The pork chops were yummy, but just not big enough. The cous cous was good in spirit, but too dry after being frozen, then reheated.
I am getting so many great ideas for recipes from my Social Supper experiment.
Here's today's question (not so cerebral, more emotional this time):
If you could go anywhere in the world for a 7-day vacation (all-expenses-paid and trustworthy babysitter included) where would you go? What would you do? Who would you bring?
My answer:
I don't have one yet. I'm currently trying to plan my adventure trip for 2006 and I'm still deciding. Of course, money is an object right now, so that limits me within North America.
I have always wanted to go to Alaska, so that might win this year. There's also the Grand Canyon, which, believe it or not, I've never seen. And British Columbia is supposed to be beautiful.
And if you're curious, if money were no object, hands-down I would go to New Zealand. No contest there.
So think about it and weigh in. Then ask yourself: What's keeping me from going?
Dinner note: Today's supper was Honey-Pineapple Pork Chops with Cranberry Walnut Cous Cous. The pork chops were yummy, but just not big enough. The cous cous was good in spirit, but too dry after being frozen, then reheated.
I am getting so many great ideas for recipes from my Social Supper experiment.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
It's Class Participation Time!
While I finish up the last of my first Social Suppers (Cheese Ravoili with Artichoke Tomato Sauce - so far so good!), it's time to hear from the peanut gallery my devoted readers.
Here's your question (reply via comment) :
If you could learn the answer to one secret (i.e. What killed the dinosaurs; Who killed JFK; Are Britney Spears' boobs real, etc.) what would it be?
To start you off, here's my answer:
What the fuck is Stonehenge? What is its purpose? Is it a temple? A sports stadium? Maybe just a pretty stone sculpture? A domino set for gigantic aliens? And while we're at it, how the hell was it built? And who did the building? (Okay, okay, so that's like twelve questions. So shoot me.)
I just saw a documentary tonight on a dude that built his own re-creation of Stonehenge, based on his interpretation of where the stones originally were. It's very pretty, all symmetrical and shit, but it didn't shed an eon of light on its purpose. I've heard speculation that it has something to do with the equinox. Why did early man care about that? Why go to so much trouble?
...now it's your turn!
Here's your question (reply via comment) :
If you could learn the answer to one secret (i.e. What killed the dinosaurs; Who killed JFK; Are Britney Spears' boobs real, etc.) what would it be?
To start you off, here's my answer:
What the fuck is Stonehenge? What is its purpose? Is it a temple? A sports stadium? Maybe just a pretty stone sculpture? A domino set for gigantic aliens? And while we're at it, how the hell was it built? And who did the building? (Okay, okay, so that's like twelve questions. So shoot me.)
I just saw a documentary tonight on a dude that built his own re-creation of Stonehenge, based on his interpretation of where the stones originally were. It's very pretty, all symmetrical and shit, but it didn't shed an eon of light on its purpose. I've heard speculation that it has something to do with the equinox. Why did early man care about that? Why go to so much trouble?
...now it's your turn!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is
Quite literally, in fact...
My last post was about these "supper clubs". In a meeting THE NEXT DAY, a co-worker gave me a flyer about one of these places. It wasn't one of the ones that I had mentioned before, it was a locally-owned place, and their prices were slightly cheaper than the other two, and they offered the option of assembling the dinners for you.
Now we are talkin'! I signed up. I got 8 dinners and got them split into two (since they feed 6 people as one). So it's really like 16 dinners.
Here's what I got:
Now...I need to get someone to come do the dishes afterwards!
My last post was about these "supper clubs". In a meeting THE NEXT DAY, a co-worker gave me a flyer about one of these places. It wasn't one of the ones that I had mentioned before, it was a locally-owned place, and their prices were slightly cheaper than the other two, and they offered the option of assembling the dinners for you.
Now we are talkin'! I signed up. I got 8 dinners and got them split into two (since they feed 6 people as one). So it's really like 16 dinners.
Here's what I got:
- Beef & Black Bean Burritos
- Cheese Ravioli w/ Tomato and Artichoke Sauce
- Chicken Mirabella
- Cranberry Walnut Cous Cous
- Grilled Raspberry Chicken w/ Coconut Rice
- Honey Pineapple Pork Chops
- Salmon Fillets with Mustard-Chive Butter
- You're Gonna Love These Big Dawg Ribs
Now...I need to get someone to come do the dishes afterwards!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Stress..It's What's for Dinner
Dinner is one of my favorite, and also unfavorite things. When there is time to spare, it is a wonderful thing. Pour a glass of wine, start a few side items, assign Loving Husband to the grill to lovingly rub and grill some nice thick steaks. Then eventually everything is done and you sit down to a yummy, relaxing meal.
This almost never happens on a weekday.
Weekdays are more like this:
Me (looking in the fridge): What's for dinner?
Loving Husband: I dunno. How about peanut butter?
NOTE: I hate peanut butter. He knows this.
Junior: Peanut butter!!
Me: (looking in pantry): No way. What else do we have?
Junior: Cookies!!
Me: No, we don't eat cookies for dinner, silly!
Junior: (grins)
LH: How about tuna?
NOTE: I hate tuna. I know, I'm a picky little shit. Get over it.
Me: Try again. How about Sonic?
LH: Uh, okay.
Junior: Tator tots!! Yeah!
And we pile in the car and go to Sonic.
So I was more than a tiny bit interested when I started seeing these 'gourmet dinner' places that claim to provide you with 6 - 12 meals that feed 6 people each. Doing some quick math, I figured that since there are only three of us (me, Loving Husband and Junior), this could actually last us 12 - 24 meals...almost a whole month!
I checked out some of the websites. They had cheesy names like Dream Dinners and Super Suppers. Their dinners included items like Sweet Cider BBQ Chicken, Mango-Glazed Pork Chops and Sirloin Steak with Garlic & Herb Butter. Yum! I was getting excited about this. And only about $100 for 6 meals. That's like $3 a meal per person. Economical, too.
Then I figured out the 'catch'. You gotta cook the meals yourself! What?! They provide the kitchen, the ingredients, etc., but you have to find the time to go to their store, read the recipes, make the stuff, then carry it all home and plop it into your freezer. The very thought made me feel tired.
If one of these places would offer to make the food for me, deliver it to my home and put it in my freezer for me, now that would be something!
Any entrepreneurs out there looking for a good idea? Hello? Hello?
This almost never happens on a weekday.
Weekdays are more like this:
Me (looking in the fridge): What's for dinner?
Loving Husband: I dunno. How about peanut butter?
NOTE: I hate peanut butter. He knows this.
Junior: Peanut butter!!
Me: (looking in pantry): No way. What else do we have?
Junior: Cookies!!
Me: No, we don't eat cookies for dinner, silly!
Junior: (grins)
LH: How about tuna?
NOTE: I hate tuna. I know, I'm a picky little shit. Get over it.
Me: Try again. How about Sonic?
LH: Uh, okay.
Junior: Tator tots!! Yeah!
And we pile in the car and go to Sonic.
So I was more than a tiny bit interested when I started seeing these 'gourmet dinner' places that claim to provide you with 6 - 12 meals that feed 6 people each. Doing some quick math, I figured that since there are only three of us (me, Loving Husband and Junior), this could actually last us 12 - 24 meals...almost a whole month!
I checked out some of the websites. They had cheesy names like Dream Dinners and Super Suppers. Their dinners included items like Sweet Cider BBQ Chicken, Mango-Glazed Pork Chops and Sirloin Steak with Garlic & Herb Butter. Yum! I was getting excited about this. And only about $100 for 6 meals. That's like $3 a meal per person. Economical, too.
Then I figured out the 'catch'. You gotta cook the meals yourself! What?! They provide the kitchen, the ingredients, etc., but you have to find the time to go to their store, read the recipes, make the stuff, then carry it all home and plop it into your freezer. The very thought made me feel tired.
If one of these places would offer to make the food for me, deliver it to my home and put it in my freezer for me, now that would be something!
Any entrepreneurs out there looking for a good idea? Hello? Hello?
Monday, January 09, 2006
Goofy...Now with Less Filter!
It's performance review time in Goofyville. Big fun! This time 'round, I got real brave and asked my on-site bosses for some feedback. This, as opposed to my off-site bosses, who actually do the review and bestow the raises on me. Don't ask. It's a strange deal.
Anyway... one of the on-site dudes said something that hit home. You know when someone tells you something about yourself and you do a big mental head slap, like DOH! I can't believe I hadn't realized that, yet it's so obvious. Well I had one of those moments.
What did he say? He said that I filter myself too much.
Since I had to ask him what he meant, let me explain....
I'm a pretty tactful person. Some folks (including readers of this blog) would call me "protected" or even "introverted". You'd never guess it by meeting me at first, since I'm a sociable kinda gal, but I have this knack of not really sharing anything very personal with folks until I know them really, really well.
So back to the "filter"...
He said that it was great that I had tact, yada, yada, good with the clients, blah, blah, blah... but with the current situation at our place of employment, there are some shakeups going on, and "being squeaky" (his words, not mine) would help me more than being tactful.
So his advice? Take off some of the filters! In other words, speak my mind! be squeaky! if my shorts are in a bunch, scream about it!
So look out! Who knows what will come outta my mouth now! (you've been warned!)
Anyway... one of the on-site dudes said something that hit home. You know when someone tells you something about yourself and you do a big mental head slap, like DOH! I can't believe I hadn't realized that, yet it's so obvious. Well I had one of those moments.
What did he say? He said that I filter myself too much.
Since I had to ask him what he meant, let me explain....
I'm a pretty tactful person. Some folks (including readers of this blog) would call me "protected" or even "introverted". You'd never guess it by meeting me at first, since I'm a sociable kinda gal, but I have this knack of not really sharing anything very personal with folks until I know them really, really well.
So back to the "filter"...
He said that it was great that I had tact, yada, yada, good with the clients, blah, blah, blah... but with the current situation at our place of employment, there are some shakeups going on, and "being squeaky" (his words, not mine) would help me more than being tactful.
So his advice? Take off some of the filters! In other words, speak my mind! be squeaky! if my shorts are in a bunch, scream about it!
So look out! Who knows what will come outta my mouth now! (you've been warned!)
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Einstein...Baby Einstein
We all know it and love it. It's like crack for babies and toddlers. They just can't get enough of that Einstein stuff. And there seems to be a Baby [Fill in the Blank] for every possible topic: Baby Shakespeare (poetry), Baby Noah (animals), Baby Picasso (art), ad nausem.
I started thinking of Einstein titles that you would never see. Here are some:
Baby Darwin
I started thinking of Einstein titles that you would never see. Here are some:
Baby Darwin
- Exposes your baby to the wonder of evolution through Darwin's theories
(not available in Kansas)
- Long-hair main character introduces the birds and bees with color and sound
- Visually stimulating real-world objects
Baby Bush
- Grammar can be fun!
- Exposes your baby to sounds of foreign languages
Baby P. Diddy
- Baby's first introduction to rap!
- Features many of P. Diddy's favorite compositions, like Shiny Suit Man and If You Want This Money*
Baby Paris
- Baby learns the value of money and power...and good shoes
...Are there any titles I've forgotten?
*These are real P. Diddy song titles...honest!
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
The Spirit of Christmas...Bartering!
One of my Christmas gifts was a $50 gift certificate for Best Buy. Now normally, this would be perfect. I would rush to Best Buy to get the good discounted stuff that folks have returned, and is marked down. However, this year I really wanted a Lowe's gift certificate. I have some house projects that I'd like to do and the $50 would go a long way towards that. The word didn't get to Santa in time though...
I had heard about a site where you could trade gift certificates, so I decided to check it out. I registered and entered my Best Buy information. I saw that someone had a Lowe's cert, for the same amount, and had "Best Buy" on their wish list. Cool! This should be easy!
I offered them a trade this morning, but have not yet heard back.
As a side note on this - I think I am the only one on the planet working this week. I went out for a quick shopping trip over lunch today and verified this fact. ...so the Lowe's cert guy is probably off work and won't reply until next week. Sigh.
I did however, get a trade offer of a $50 Red Lobster cert just now. Heavy sigh. I had to chuckle at some poor schmuck getting a Red Lobster gift certificate for Christmas. Ah, the gift of bad seafood. Hee-hee.
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, are having a Happy Hannukkah, are having an enjoyable Kwanza, or are delighting in your favorite Pagan holiday. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Today (Thursday) I received a trade offer for a 1800-Wine cert. While tempting, I need to stay focused on Lowe's and the house projects. Doesn't anyone NOT like Lowe's. C'mon people!
I had heard about a site where you could trade gift certificates, so I decided to check it out. I registered and entered my Best Buy information. I saw that someone had a Lowe's cert, for the same amount, and had "Best Buy" on their wish list. Cool! This should be easy!
I offered them a trade this morning, but have not yet heard back.
As a side note on this - I think I am the only one on the planet working this week. I went out for a quick shopping trip over lunch today and verified this fact. ...so the Lowe's cert guy is probably off work and won't reply until next week. Sigh.
I did however, get a trade offer of a $50 Red Lobster cert just now. Heavy sigh. I had to chuckle at some poor schmuck getting a Red Lobster gift certificate for Christmas. Ah, the gift of bad seafood. Hee-hee.
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas, are having a Happy Hannukkah, are having an enjoyable Kwanza, or are delighting in your favorite Pagan holiday. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Today (Thursday) I received a trade offer for a 1800-Wine cert. While tempting, I need to stay focused on Lowe's and the house projects. Doesn't anyone NOT like Lowe's. C'mon people!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Civic Duty
If you have any inflatable, moving or light-up Christmas decorations that can be turned off, deflated or stopped, please read the letter below and perform your civic duty, dammit!
Rest assured that if you do not, parents within a 15-mile radius are cursing you.
From: Goofy's Husband [mailto:ghubbie@themancorp.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 11:05 AM
To: Neighbor, Friendly
Subject: Help a brother out...
Friendly-
I must inform you of your civic duty. Once you commit to buying and inflating Christmas decorations in your front yard you must be consistent and have it inflated every night. Otherwise I must deal with the wrath of Goofy Junior when I keep telling him the Christmas Bear is sleeping...again ;-)
Our neighbor across the street has an inflatable Santa and I can’t tell you how sad I am to see the look of disappointment in Junior’s face when Santa is collapsed on the front lawn like a drunken hobo.
Thanks.
Goofy's Husband
Toiler for The Man
The Man Corp.
(555) 555-5555
Rest assured that if you do not, parents within a 15-mile radius are cursing you.
From: Goofy's Husband [mailto:ghubbie@themancorp.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 11:05 AM
To: Neighbor, Friendly
Subject: Help a brother out...
Friendly-
I must inform you of your civic duty. Once you commit to buying and inflating Christmas decorations in your front yard you must be consistent and have it inflated every night. Otherwise I must deal with the wrath of Goofy Junior when I keep telling him the Christmas Bear is sleeping...again ;-)
Our neighbor across the street has an inflatable Santa and I can’t tell you how sad I am to see the look of disappointment in Junior’s face when Santa is collapsed on the front lawn like a drunken hobo.
Thanks.
Goofy's Husband
Toiler for The Man
The Man Corp.
(555) 555-5555
Friday, December 16, 2005
I'm a Cheap Ho Too!
I'm coming to the realization that I'm a cheap bitch. First the free shipping obsession, now the gift card at-a-discount obsession.
First off, DAMN you Pesky Apostrophe for leading me to these sites! Whew, now I feel better.
I clicked on a link for CardAvenue. Then SwapAGift. I found lots of folks that had gift cards they didn't want, that are willing to sell at a discount or trade their cards for other ones.
From a seller's perspective, no longer do you have to keep that $50 Wal-mart card that Granny thought you might like. You can trade it for a Best Buy card, or sell it to someone for $45.
From a buyer's perspective (mine!), you can get a $500 Target gift card for $450. That's like getting $50 for FREE!
There's a small $3.99 fee to list a card on the site. There's no fee to buy a card from the site.
I feel an obsession coming on....everyone stand back.
First off, DAMN you Pesky Apostrophe for leading me to these sites! Whew, now I feel better.
I clicked on a link for CardAvenue. Then SwapAGift. I found lots of folks that had gift cards they didn't want, that are willing to sell at a discount or trade their cards for other ones.
From a seller's perspective, no longer do you have to keep that $50 Wal-mart card that Granny thought you might like. You can trade it for a Best Buy card, or sell it to someone for $45.
From a buyer's perspective (mine!), you can get a $500 Target gift card for $450. That's like getting $50 for FREE!
There's a small $3.99 fee to list a card on the site. There's no fee to buy a card from the site.
I feel an obsession coming on....everyone stand back.
Friday, December 09, 2005
I'm a Ho...
a Free Shipping Ho, that is.
The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem. I have a problem. I cannot resist the lure of "free shipping". I will do anything for free shipping.
Evidenced the other day as I was doing some holiday shopping on Amazon.com. They offer "Super Saver Shipping" (read as: FREE!) for orders over $25. Since I had about five items each to buy for two nieces, this should have been no problemo. However....
The "Super Saver Shipping" only applied to items that Amazon.com sells themselves. The key word being "themselves". For example, when you buy a toy from Amazon.com, the supplier is actually Toys R Us, not Amazon. Thus, no free shipping for that item. Drat!
Also, when you buy something as "used" from Amazon.com, that does not apply for the free shipping. Double Drat!
So, I found myself needing one purchase of $12.59 to qualify for the free shipping. I decided to buy one more book (horse-related, naturally...these are my horse-crazy nieces, after all). Guess how much the book was? $12.35! A frigging 24 cents short! Not even a quarter short. I added it to my order and the damn site actually told me, "you need .24 to qualify for Super Saver Shipping". Oh, bite my jingle bells! Just give me the quarter, for crying out loud!
So, what did I do?
Did I just place the damn order and get on with my life? No way, Jose.
I asked Loving Husband, "Do you need anything from Amazon.com?" Surprisingly, he didn't need anything. When he finally thought of several things, they were (of course!) not qualified for the fucking free shipping. Triple Drat!
"Does Goofy Junior need anything from Amazon.com?" Of course not. Junior has more "stuff" than the entire household combined, thanks to Junior-centric Gramma and Grampa.
I spend ONE HOUR of my precious life, trying to spend 24 cents. And having a hard time doing it!
Finally Loving Husband came up with the perfect plan. "How about a sticker book?"
"A sticker book!!!" Hallelujah! It was $1.25.
The final tally? I saved $5.29 in shipping.
I told you...I'm a Free Shipping Ho.
The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem. I have a problem. I cannot resist the lure of "free shipping". I will do anything for free shipping.
Evidenced the other day as I was doing some holiday shopping on Amazon.com. They offer "Super Saver Shipping" (read as: FREE!) for orders over $25. Since I had about five items each to buy for two nieces, this should have been no problemo. However....
The "Super Saver Shipping" only applied to items that Amazon.com sells themselves. The key word being "themselves". For example, when you buy a toy from Amazon.com, the supplier is actually Toys R Us, not Amazon. Thus, no free shipping for that item. Drat!
Also, when you buy something as "used" from Amazon.com, that does not apply for the free shipping. Double Drat!
So, I found myself needing one purchase of $12.59 to qualify for the free shipping. I decided to buy one more book (horse-related, naturally...these are my horse-crazy nieces, after all). Guess how much the book was? $12.35! A frigging 24 cents short! Not even a quarter short. I added it to my order and the damn site actually told me, "you need .24 to qualify for Super Saver Shipping". Oh, bite my jingle bells! Just give me the quarter, for crying out loud!
So, what did I do?
Did I just place the damn order and get on with my life? No way, Jose.
I asked Loving Husband, "Do you need anything from Amazon.com?" Surprisingly, he didn't need anything. When he finally thought of several things, they were (of course!) not qualified for the fucking free shipping. Triple Drat!
"Does Goofy Junior need anything from Amazon.com?" Of course not. Junior has more "stuff" than the entire household combined, thanks to Junior-centric Gramma and Grampa.
I spend ONE HOUR of my precious life, trying to spend 24 cents. And having a hard time doing it!
Finally Loving Husband came up with the perfect plan. "How about a sticker book?"
"A sticker book!!!" Hallelujah! It was $1.25.
The final tally? I saved $5.29 in shipping.
I told you...I'm a Free Shipping Ho.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Killing a Business
One of my goals this past two weeks has been killing a business. Lest you think I'm cruel and heartless, the business was begging to be killed. The business in question was a jewelry-making business. A friend and I created the business two years ago. We took a jewelry making class, thought it was fun, then a few friends saw our creations and asked to buy them. What a rush! Hmmm....we thought. We could make some money and support our jewelry habit. How cool is that?
Well, at first it was very cool. We happily made jewelry and sold a few pieces to friends and family. Then we got our first store! Well, not OUR store...a store that was willing to put our jewelry on display and split the profits. "We are in the big time now," we thought. Then we got another store, and another, and another. It seemed that all we had to do was bring some jewelry in to show and ask about splitting profits. We could have gotten four more stores if we had just asked.
However around this time we realized that we needed to PRODUCE. Not happily create jewelry when we felt inspired. PRODUCE. A much different feeling, let me tell you. Around this same time my partner decided that she didn't like the pressure of having to PRODUCE when the stores needed inventory. She wanted to create jewelry when the urge struck her. And I whole-heartedly agreed! But I couldn't kill the business. I just couldn't do it. So my partner bowed out and I continued on.
Fast forward to about a month ago, when I did the accounting for the business for the year. Oh, all the revenue that had come in! It had added up. Wee! But, wait a minute...there was also the expenses. They had added up too. In my eagerness to PRODUCE, I had stocked up on beads, findings, wire, tags, tools, etc., etc.
When the two columns were summed and compared, I was BREAKING EVEN. Not making a dime. Basically doing the business for fun. And it wasn't much fun. There was a lot of deadlines and stress about HAVING to make jewelry, even when I wasn't in the mood. Plus, being me, I had several other projects in the hopper that were new! and fun! and needed my attention.
I asked Loving Husband his opinion. He was brief and to the point. "Simplify and prioritize," he said. He's a smart man sometimes, I have to admit.
So I came to the difficult decision. I must kill the business.
The first store removed itself. The owner had decided that her location sucked and was closing, moving and reopening in March. I pulled the inventory out and sighed with relief. That was easy.
The second store was easy too. I hadn't dropped off any new inventory in about 4 months. My contact there said she wouldn't be upset if I pulled out the jewelry case and revamped it. I asked if she would be upset if I didn't bring it back. She said "no". I considered it done.
The third store was a bit more difficult. They gave me some trouble. "Oh no!" they said, "Don't take your jewelry out. Make some more and it will sell. It's Christmas time, you know." I was obstinate. Well, I left and came back and then was obstinate. "I'm quitting the jewelry business!" I declared. They finally acquiesed and let me leave. On the way out, they tempted me again. "You know our other jewelry provider is quitting too. We won't have anyone's jewelry to sell." "I'm quitting!" I said, yet again. And so it was done.
The fourth store still has bundles of inventory. They will not be calling me for a while. They should get through Christmas and then some before I have to break the bad news to them. I'm going to leave them dumb and happy for the meantime, and break the news later.
It's hard work, killing a business. Almost as much work as starting one.
Well, at first it was very cool. We happily made jewelry and sold a few pieces to friends and family. Then we got our first store! Well, not OUR store...a store that was willing to put our jewelry on display and split the profits. "We are in the big time now," we thought. Then we got another store, and another, and another. It seemed that all we had to do was bring some jewelry in to show and ask about splitting profits. We could have gotten four more stores if we had just asked.
However around this time we realized that we needed to PRODUCE. Not happily create jewelry when we felt inspired. PRODUCE. A much different feeling, let me tell you. Around this same time my partner decided that she didn't like the pressure of having to PRODUCE when the stores needed inventory. She wanted to create jewelry when the urge struck her. And I whole-heartedly agreed! But I couldn't kill the business. I just couldn't do it. So my partner bowed out and I continued on.
Fast forward to about a month ago, when I did the accounting for the business for the year. Oh, all the revenue that had come in! It had added up. Wee! But, wait a minute...there was also the expenses. They had added up too. In my eagerness to PRODUCE, I had stocked up on beads, findings, wire, tags, tools, etc., etc.
When the two columns were summed and compared, I was BREAKING EVEN. Not making a dime. Basically doing the business for fun. And it wasn't much fun. There was a lot of deadlines and stress about HAVING to make jewelry, even when I wasn't in the mood. Plus, being me, I had several other projects in the hopper that were new! and fun! and needed my attention.
I asked Loving Husband his opinion. He was brief and to the point. "Simplify and prioritize," he said. He's a smart man sometimes, I have to admit.
So I came to the difficult decision. I must kill the business.
The first store removed itself. The owner had decided that her location sucked and was closing, moving and reopening in March. I pulled the inventory out and sighed with relief. That was easy.
The second store was easy too. I hadn't dropped off any new inventory in about 4 months. My contact there said she wouldn't be upset if I pulled out the jewelry case and revamped it. I asked if she would be upset if I didn't bring it back. She said "no". I considered it done.
The third store was a bit more difficult. They gave me some trouble. "Oh no!" they said, "Don't take your jewelry out. Make some more and it will sell. It's Christmas time, you know." I was obstinate. Well, I left and came back and then was obstinate. "I'm quitting the jewelry business!" I declared. They finally acquiesed and let me leave. On the way out, they tempted me again. "You know our other jewelry provider is quitting too. We won't have anyone's jewelry to sell." "I'm quitting!" I said, yet again. And so it was done.
The fourth store still has bundles of inventory. They will not be calling me for a while. They should get through Christmas and then some before I have to break the bad news to them. I'm going to leave them dumb and happy for the meantime, and break the news later.
It's hard work, killing a business. Almost as much work as starting one.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
I am Thankful
The transition to the BBB (that would be "Big Boy Bed") went fantastic! We stuck with Junior's nightly routine, only he climbed into his BBB himself, instead of us putting him in the crib.
A couple things helped, I think. His crib was still in the room. And okay, I cheated a bit and shoved one side of the BBB against the crib, effectively making a daybed, with only one open side. I have to confess, the up-over-down-run-around circles he had been practicing on the BBB had me worried!
We also took Baby Tad and put him at the foot of the BBB. Baby Tad (who gets my vote for essential kid gear) is a stuffed frog-doll thing that plays up to six lullabies when you press his paw (who knew frogs had paws?).
After we put Junior into the BBB, kissed him goodnight and set up the new gate across his door (no escapees allowed!), we ran to the monitor and listened. Baby Tad finished his 6 songs. Then we heard "One minute to night-night". Junior had pushed Baby Tad's paw again! And then again. And again. Poor Baby Tad started sounding a big sluggish. "Damn you, Baby Tad, don't go out on us now!" I thought.
Then finally...silence. We had achieved sleep in the BBB. And we were thankful.
A couple things helped, I think. His crib was still in the room. And okay, I cheated a bit and shoved one side of the BBB against the crib, effectively making a daybed, with only one open side. I have to confess, the up-over-down-run-around circles he had been practicing on the BBB had me worried!
We also took Baby Tad and put him at the foot of the BBB. Baby Tad (who gets my vote for essential kid gear) is a stuffed frog-doll thing that plays up to six lullabies when you press his paw (who knew frogs had paws?).
After we put Junior into the BBB, kissed him goodnight and set up the new gate across his door (no escapees allowed!), we ran to the monitor and listened. Baby Tad finished his 6 songs. Then we heard "One minute to night-night". Junior had pushed Baby Tad's paw again! And then again. And again. Poor Baby Tad started sounding a big sluggish. "Damn you, Baby Tad, don't go out on us now!" I thought.
Then finally...silence. We had achieved sleep in the BBB. And we were thankful.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
A New Toy!
It's pretty sad when you get really excited about a mixer. But this isn't just any mixer. Oh no. This is the KitchenAid Artisan 5-speed mixer, baby. With 325 watts of pure mixing power.
I got the cobalt blue color, 'cause I figured if I got a sports car that's what color I'd get. Red is just too showy for me... ;-)
I'm going to whip up all sorts of yummy baked goods with this bad boy.
Vroooooommmm!
Monday, November 21, 2005
Chillin' in the Crib
In the beginning, there was the crib. And the crib was good.
But She-Who-Holds-the-Pediatric-Degree came down from on high.
"The boy is too big," She declared.
"He can climb from the crib."
"He will climb from the crib."
"He will go 'boom'."
And the crib was no longer good.
...and so the Saga of the Big Boy Bed began...
Tonight we put together the Big Boy Bed (hereafter called "BBB" for brevity). We have been "selling" the BBB for the past two weeks, since it arrived in its giant box. We visited the library and checked out books about BBBs. We read the BBB books. Junior started getting excited.
When Loving Husband asked Junior "Would you like to put together your BBB tonight?", he (Junior, that is) ran upstairs and pointed to the big box. He "helped" put together the bed, with lots of "No, Junior"s from Loving Husband. Finally, the BBB was complete.
"You will get to sleep in it in TWO DAYS," we told him.
"I wanna get in it," said Junior. Hmmm....we thought. This is all good, right?
We got the crib mattress from the crib and put it into the new BBB. So cute...it looks like a doll bed.
"Pretend to be asleep," we urged.
He eagerly got in and started circling...like a dog! This was new behavior. Then he started climbing in, circling around, then climbing out the other side. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Faster. Faster. Faster. We started getting dizzy.
"Well, this will be fun!" said LH sarcastically.
Then we went to take the mattress back out and put it back in da crib. "I wanna sleep in Bigboybed!" cried Junior. "In TWO DAYS!" we cried back. "WAAAAAAAAAAA!" he cried. Literally crying now.
We finally settled him down. I think he talked me down to 1 day...I can't be sure...but in the end he was in the crib and settled down.
I guess we are good Marketers, huh? A little too good.
Stay tuned for D-Day, er, BBB-Day. Hopefully the casualties will be low.
But She-Who-Holds-the-Pediatric-Degree came down from on high.
"The boy is too big," She declared.
"He can climb from the crib."
"He will climb from the crib."
"He will go 'boom'."
And the crib was no longer good.
...and so the Saga of the Big Boy Bed began...
Tonight we put together the Big Boy Bed (hereafter called "BBB" for brevity). We have been "selling" the BBB for the past two weeks, since it arrived in its giant box. We visited the library and checked out books about BBBs. We read the BBB books. Junior started getting excited.
When Loving Husband asked Junior "Would you like to put together your BBB tonight?", he (Junior, that is) ran upstairs and pointed to the big box. He "helped" put together the bed, with lots of "No, Junior"s from Loving Husband. Finally, the BBB was complete.
"You will get to sleep in it in TWO DAYS," we told him.
"I wanna get in it," said Junior. Hmmm....we thought. This is all good, right?
We got the crib mattress from the crib and put it into the new BBB. So cute...it looks like a doll bed.
"Pretend to be asleep," we urged.
He eagerly got in and started circling...like a dog! This was new behavior. Then he started climbing in, circling around, then climbing out the other side. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Faster. Faster. Faster. We started getting dizzy.
"Well, this will be fun!" said LH sarcastically.
Then we went to take the mattress back out and put it back in da crib. "I wanna sleep in Bigboybed!" cried Junior. "In TWO DAYS!" we cried back. "WAAAAAAAAAAA!" he cried. Literally crying now.
We finally settled him down. I think he talked me down to 1 day...I can't be sure...but in the end he was in the crib and settled down.
I guess we are good Marketers, huh? A little too good.
Stay tuned for D-Day, er, BBB-Day. Hopefully the casualties will be low.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Thoughts on Football and Life
Anyone who owns a radio or TV in the Kansas City area knows the news: The Kansas City Chiefs have lost their star running back, Priest Holmes, to a neck injury. He took a hard hit in a game two weeks ago and has been examined by several doctors, who came back with the same advice...No hits for 30 days, at least. Since there are only four regular-season games left, this means his season is over.
This is a tough loss, as Holmes is widely considered to be carrying a large portion of the team's weight when it comes to offense. I was listening to a sports radio station the same day this news broke and lots of fans were calling in commisserating about losing our star player. Would the Chiefs still be able to win without Holmes? Would Holmes' backup be able to perform? Would he retire or be back next year? The calls went along these same lines for an excrutiatingly long time.
Then finally some guy called in and said, "Hold up...let's think this from Holmes' viewpoint for a moment. His career could be over!" There is speculation that Holmes has a bruise on his spinal case (not column). These types of bruises do not heal - they are there for life. This guy had actually played semi-pro football, gotten hit in a similiar way as Holmes and had been partially paralyzed. He still did not have 100% use of his upper body. This gave a whole new perspective to the topic. And reminded me of a similiar situation that I went through...
No, I didn't get hit by a 300+ pound lineman, but I did have a serious neck injury. About five years ago, around mid-summer, I started getting some pain near my shoulder blade. A strange little pain that felt like a muscular "knot". Since I was playing volleyball about 3 times per week, I figured I had just over-used a muscle and was sore. Then the tingling started. A weird tingling sensation down my right arm. I started going to my massage therapist bi-weekly to fix the "knot"...to no avail - it kept coming back. Over the next couple of months the tingling got so bad that it actually hurt. I quit playing volleyball, as it was hard to control my arm with all the tingling. I quit sleeping through the night, as I could not find a position that was not painful or that did not put my arm to sleep. Keep in mind that I work on a computer all day...needless to say, this was quite painful too.
I'm not a big fan of doctors, but at this point I figured a doctor's visit was in order.
My doctor ordered an MRI of my neck and shoulders. If you've never had an MRI of your upper body, it's scary as hell. They warned me in advance that if I was claustrophobic, I might not like this. I am. And I did not. I was able to get past being shoved headfirst up to my waist into a tiny, enclosed chamber. I was able to get past the ear-splitting, jackhammer-like thumping that the super-duper magnet makes as it images your body. I was NOT able to get past the pain of lying there on my back for 15 minutes. It hurt that bad just to lay still. I ended up wiggling and they had to repeat the process a second time. Torture.
When I went back to the doctor to hear about the results of my MRI, he scared the living shit out of me. He said I had a herniated cervical disc. He went on to say that I needed surgery to either remove or fuse the disc. He went on to say that I should be extremely careful driving, since any sort of impact could potentially paralyze me. He also mentioned that if I lost control of my bladder that I was to report to an emergency room ASAP, as that might be an indication that the disc had intruded into my spinal column.
...and I thought he would tell me it was a pinched nerve. The fucker really threw me for a loop.
I cried the whole way home. I figured my life as I knew it was over. No more volleyball, no more bike riding, no more sleeping through the night. I was 35 at the time, with a lifetime of plans and goals ahead of me - lots of them physical. It's an understatement to say that this was a gigantic bummer.
As instructed, I reported to the neurosurgeon's office for a consult. This dude, who looked just like Chris Elliott (the mad professor) from "Back to the Future", began by telling me all the bad things that could happen during the surgery. Partial facial paralysis (on side only). Okay, there goes my modeling career - ha! I could need more surgeries. I could lose movement of my neck. I would be in recover for six weeks. Six! As the icing on the cake, he mentioned that, due to how close all the nerves and spinal stuff was, that they make the incision in the FRONT of your neck. He actually made an imaginary "cut" with his finger across his throat. As in "off with her head". Okay, Alice, I'm down the rabbit hole and outta here. I nearly sprained an ankle running out of this crazy dude's office and to my car. I was NOT having my throat cut. No way. I don't like turtlenecks enough to be stuck with them for the rest of my life to cover a scar like that.
More crying in the car. Then worrying that the tears would blur my vision and I would get into a car wreck and be paralyzed. Then hopelessness as I realized that without this surgery, I would have to live with the now ever-present pain and numbness in my arm. This sucked. Then I mentally whacked myself in the head and told myself to start brainstorming. What else could I do? I couldn't live with this. I couldn't get the surgery. What else? What else? An idea came to me...
We had a friend studying to be a chiropractor. We had been camping with him the past spring and he had evangelized how chiropractic care could solve lots of problems that would normally require surgery. I had nothing to lose, so I picked up the phone and called him. I explained the whole deal and he said he would talk to one of his instructors about whether my problem could be solved. He called me back and I got an appointment with his instructor, Dr. T., later that week. At least I knew he wouldn't want to cut me open, so that was a start.
Dr. T. was awesome! After looking at my MRI, he agreed that I indeed had a badly herniated disc. Then he went on to say that it would take about 4 months to get me back to 95% capacity. I had to come see him twice a week for the next few months, then we would take x-rays and see what had changed. This sounded much better than the big, scary knife solution.
Dr. T. gave me homework - buy a beach ball, sit down on the floor with my back to the wall and push the beach ball to the wall with my head. This was horribly painful...but it got easier over time. Dr. T was positive, but tough. He gave me more painful exercises to do. We were moving things around and it was going to be painful. He took me off my pain meds that Dr. #1 had given me, so that they wouldn't "mask" when I was really in pain and when I wasn't.
The first week was very tough. The second week was a bit better. After the first month I actually slept through the night for the first time in about six months. Bliss! As promised, after about 4-1/2 months, I started playing volleyball again. Over the next year, I saw him about once a month, to keep things where they should be.
I am currently pain-free, tingle-free and numbness-free. I know that my disc is not healed. It is a weak spot on me that I am always aware of. I know that there may come a day when I might need that dreaded surgery. I secretly hope that they will have fake disc "gel" that you can inject to puff discs back up to their normal size by then. Don't laugh...they are close on this!
No, I'm not carrying the weight of entire football team on my shoulders, but I do carry the weight of all the dreams and goals that I want to accomplish over my lifetime. And it takes a strong neck to carry those.
This is a tough loss, as Holmes is widely considered to be carrying a large portion of the team's weight when it comes to offense. I was listening to a sports radio station the same day this news broke and lots of fans were calling in commisserating about losing our star player. Would the Chiefs still be able to win without Holmes? Would Holmes' backup be able to perform? Would he retire or be back next year? The calls went along these same lines for an excrutiatingly long time.
Then finally some guy called in and said, "Hold up...let's think this from Holmes' viewpoint for a moment. His career could be over!" There is speculation that Holmes has a bruise on his spinal case (not column). These types of bruises do not heal - they are there for life. This guy had actually played semi-pro football, gotten hit in a similiar way as Holmes and had been partially paralyzed. He still did not have 100% use of his upper body. This gave a whole new perspective to the topic. And reminded me of a similiar situation that I went through...
No, I didn't get hit by a 300+ pound lineman, but I did have a serious neck injury. About five years ago, around mid-summer, I started getting some pain near my shoulder blade. A strange little pain that felt like a muscular "knot". Since I was playing volleyball about 3 times per week, I figured I had just over-used a muscle and was sore. Then the tingling started. A weird tingling sensation down my right arm. I started going to my massage therapist bi-weekly to fix the "knot"...to no avail - it kept coming back. Over the next couple of months the tingling got so bad that it actually hurt. I quit playing volleyball, as it was hard to control my arm with all the tingling. I quit sleeping through the night, as I could not find a position that was not painful or that did not put my arm to sleep. Keep in mind that I work on a computer all day...needless to say, this was quite painful too.
I'm not a big fan of doctors, but at this point I figured a doctor's visit was in order.
My doctor ordered an MRI of my neck and shoulders. If you've never had an MRI of your upper body, it's scary as hell. They warned me in advance that if I was claustrophobic, I might not like this. I am. And I did not. I was able to get past being shoved headfirst up to my waist into a tiny, enclosed chamber. I was able to get past the ear-splitting, jackhammer-like thumping that the super-duper magnet makes as it images your body. I was NOT able to get past the pain of lying there on my back for 15 minutes. It hurt that bad just to lay still. I ended up wiggling and they had to repeat the process a second time. Torture.
When I went back to the doctor to hear about the results of my MRI, he scared the living shit out of me. He said I had a herniated cervical disc. He went on to say that I needed surgery to either remove or fuse the disc. He went on to say that I should be extremely careful driving, since any sort of impact could potentially paralyze me. He also mentioned that if I lost control of my bladder that I was to report to an emergency room ASAP, as that might be an indication that the disc had intruded into my spinal column.
...and I thought he would tell me it was a pinched nerve. The fucker really threw me for a loop.
I cried the whole way home. I figured my life as I knew it was over. No more volleyball, no more bike riding, no more sleeping through the night. I was 35 at the time, with a lifetime of plans and goals ahead of me - lots of them physical. It's an understatement to say that this was a gigantic bummer.
As instructed, I reported to the neurosurgeon's office for a consult. This dude, who looked just like Chris Elliott (the mad professor) from "Back to the Future", began by telling me all the bad things that could happen during the surgery. Partial facial paralysis (on side only). Okay, there goes my modeling career - ha! I could need more surgeries. I could lose movement of my neck. I would be in recover for six weeks. Six! As the icing on the cake, he mentioned that, due to how close all the nerves and spinal stuff was, that they make the incision in the FRONT of your neck. He actually made an imaginary "cut" with his finger across his throat. As in "off with her head". Okay, Alice, I'm down the rabbit hole and outta here. I nearly sprained an ankle running out of this crazy dude's office and to my car. I was NOT having my throat cut. No way. I don't like turtlenecks enough to be stuck with them for the rest of my life to cover a scar like that.
More crying in the car. Then worrying that the tears would blur my vision and I would get into a car wreck and be paralyzed. Then hopelessness as I realized that without this surgery, I would have to live with the now ever-present pain and numbness in my arm. This sucked. Then I mentally whacked myself in the head and told myself to start brainstorming. What else could I do? I couldn't live with this. I couldn't get the surgery. What else? What else? An idea came to me...
We had a friend studying to be a chiropractor. We had been camping with him the past spring and he had evangelized how chiropractic care could solve lots of problems that would normally require surgery. I had nothing to lose, so I picked up the phone and called him. I explained the whole deal and he said he would talk to one of his instructors about whether my problem could be solved. He called me back and I got an appointment with his instructor, Dr. T., later that week. At least I knew he wouldn't want to cut me open, so that was a start.
Dr. T. was awesome! After looking at my MRI, he agreed that I indeed had a badly herniated disc. Then he went on to say that it would take about 4 months to get me back to 95% capacity. I had to come see him twice a week for the next few months, then we would take x-rays and see what had changed. This sounded much better than the big, scary knife solution.
Dr. T. gave me homework - buy a beach ball, sit down on the floor with my back to the wall and push the beach ball to the wall with my head. This was horribly painful...but it got easier over time. Dr. T was positive, but tough. He gave me more painful exercises to do. We were moving things around and it was going to be painful. He took me off my pain meds that Dr. #1 had given me, so that they wouldn't "mask" when I was really in pain and when I wasn't.
The first week was very tough. The second week was a bit better. After the first month I actually slept through the night for the first time in about six months. Bliss! As promised, after about 4-1/2 months, I started playing volleyball again. Over the next year, I saw him about once a month, to keep things where they should be.
I am currently pain-free, tingle-free and numbness-free. I know that my disc is not healed. It is a weak spot on me that I am always aware of. I know that there may come a day when I might need that dreaded surgery. I secretly hope that they will have fake disc "gel" that you can inject to puff discs back up to their normal size by then. Don't laugh...they are close on this!
No, I'm not carrying the weight of entire football team on my shoulders, but I do carry the weight of all the dreams and goals that I want to accomplish over my lifetime. And it takes a strong neck to carry those.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Trickertreat!
Ah, the joy of discovery! Ah, the pain of candy meltdown!
...such is Halloween in the Casa de Goofy.
Goofy Junior, so cute in his little vampire costume, ventured out for a fun-filled night of trick or treating. He was tentative at the first house, but Mommy (that would be me) had done some role-playing with him the night before, so he knew the routine.
Me: Junior, do you know what trick or treating is?
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: It's when we go to other people's houses, and knock on their door. (mimes knocking)
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: And then they open the door (mime opening door) and you say "trick or treat"
Jr: trickertreat!
Me: Then they give you candy in your pumpkin.
Jr: My purse?
Me: No, honey, it's not a purse, it's a pumpkin. Stop calling it a purse or Daddy will kill me.
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: So, they give you candy and what do you say?
Jr: thank you...?
Me: YES!
Jr: kidneys!* trickertreat! my purse!
Me (thinking): Okay, at least he won't be scared...
And, of course, he wasn't scared. He was the opposite! He was knocking on the doors, helping himself to candy, waving goodbye. After the second house, we turned around to walk down the stairs and he said, "I wanna do another one". I chuckled. Then he said it after every house, alternating with "no go home yet".
After going all the way down our street and working our way back, I began to worry about the reprecussions of returning home. But I can think like a toddler (it's my secret super-hero talent...or maybe just my IQ).
Me: Okay, one more house and then we are done (cheerfully!)
Jr: Okay.
Me (after one more house): Where's our house?
Jr: There (points). No go home yet! (shaking head "no")
Me: Hey! I have an idea!
Jr: Huh?
Me: You knock on our own door and see if Daddy gives you candy. I'll bet he won't know it's you in your costume! (daycare-level cheerfulness now)
Jr: Okay! (he's digging this idea)
Me: I'll wait around the corner here....go knock on the door.
Jr: (big smile. goes and knocks on door)
Goofy Daddy (getting the idea, God love him): Hey, Happy Halloween little boy! Would you like some candy?
Jr: Trickertreat!
I come around the corner and take off Junior's vampire-ear-hat, to reveal his secret identity.
GD: OH! It's you Junior! Give me a hug! (and picks him up and carries him into the house)
Postscript: We needn't have worried...Junior liked giving out candy to the trick or treaters that came to our house even more than trick or treating.
* "kidneys" is "candy" in Goofy Juniorese
...such is Halloween in the Casa de Goofy.
Goofy Junior, so cute in his little vampire costume, ventured out for a fun-filled night of trick or treating. He was tentative at the first house, but Mommy (that would be me) had done some role-playing with him the night before, so he knew the routine.
Me: Junior, do you know what trick or treating is?
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: It's when we go to other people's houses, and knock on their door. (mimes knocking)
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: And then they open the door (mime opening door) and you say "trick or treat"
Jr: trickertreat!
Me: Then they give you candy in your pumpkin.
Jr: My purse?
Me: No, honey, it's not a purse, it's a pumpkin. Stop calling it a purse or Daddy will kill me.
Jr: (blank stare)
Me: So, they give you candy and what do you say?
Jr: thank you...?
Me: YES!
Jr: kidneys!* trickertreat! my purse!
Me (thinking): Okay, at least he won't be scared...
And, of course, he wasn't scared. He was the opposite! He was knocking on the doors, helping himself to candy, waving goodbye. After the second house, we turned around to walk down the stairs and he said, "I wanna do another one". I chuckled. Then he said it after every house, alternating with "no go home yet".
After going all the way down our street and working our way back, I began to worry about the reprecussions of returning home. But I can think like a toddler (it's my secret super-hero talent...or maybe just my IQ).
Me: Okay, one more house and then we are done (cheerfully!)
Jr: Okay.
Me (after one more house): Where's our house?
Jr: There (points). No go home yet! (shaking head "no")
Me: Hey! I have an idea!
Jr: Huh?
Me: You knock on our own door and see if Daddy gives you candy. I'll bet he won't know it's you in your costume! (daycare-level cheerfulness now)
Jr: Okay! (he's digging this idea)
Me: I'll wait around the corner here....go knock on the door.
Jr: (big smile. goes and knocks on door)
Goofy Daddy (getting the idea, God love him): Hey, Happy Halloween little boy! Would you like some candy?
Jr: Trickertreat!
I come around the corner and take off Junior's vampire-ear-hat, to reveal his secret identity.
GD: OH! It's you Junior! Give me a hug! (and picks him up and carries him into the house)
Postscript: We needn't have worried...Junior liked giving out candy to the trick or treaters that came to our house even more than trick or treating.
* "kidneys" is "candy" in Goofy Juniorese
Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Haunted Smoke Detector
Ugh. We got woken up this morning at 3:00am!
No, Junior didn't wake us up.
No, we didn't get a frantic call from a drunken friend.
No, a dog didn't bark to be let outside to pee.
Our smoke detector went off. Slowly. First one "chirp", then silence. This, of course woke my light-sleeping ass up right away. I thought I had imagined it and drifted back off. Then another "chiiiiiiiirp", a bit longer this time. I realized what it was and jumped out of bed.
What to do?
I stared at the smoke detector. It wasn't talking.
Hmmmm..... I scratched my head and got back into bed.
"Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp....chirp......chirp", it said.
Now both Hubbie and I jumped out of bed to stare at the smoke detector. It was silent. He got a chair out and stood on it to get a closer look at the offending plastic gadget. I went downstairs to investigate. Computers smoking? Nope. Oven off? Yep. Cars on fire? Nope. Heater smoking? Nope.
Baffled, I went back upstairs and got back into bed.
"Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp! Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp!" "Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp!" Now it wasn't quitting.
Oh, our ears. Oh no! Goofy Junior might wake up! Oh crap!
Hubbie ran downstairs to go for the breaker. It's one of those smoke detectors that doesn't have a battery - it's hooked into our electric system, not a great feature at this point.
I got on the chair and held my ears while I inspected the devilish thing. I hit it several times (my standby solution to things that don't work right), to no avail, then tried pressing on various points, thinking maybe something had come loose. About that same time, it went off.
Whew! Hubbie got the breaker switched. My ears were ringing. Luckily, Junior was still sawing logs. Unbelievable, since all this happened right outside his door!
We left the damn thing hanging from the ceiling and went back to bed. In the morning, I found out that Hubbie had not switched the breaker...there is no breaker for it! How the hell do we switch it off!?!?!?
So I'm hoping we won't have a repeat performance at 3:00am this morning. Or Saturday morning. Or Sunday morning.
No, Junior didn't wake us up.
No, we didn't get a frantic call from a drunken friend.
No, a dog didn't bark to be let outside to pee.
Our smoke detector went off. Slowly. First one "chirp", then silence. This, of course woke my light-sleeping ass up right away. I thought I had imagined it and drifted back off. Then another "chiiiiiiiirp", a bit longer this time. I realized what it was and jumped out of bed.
What to do?
I stared at the smoke detector. It wasn't talking.
Hmmmm..... I scratched my head and got back into bed.
"Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp....chirp......chirp", it said.
Now both Hubbie and I jumped out of bed to stare at the smoke detector. It was silent. He got a chair out and stood on it to get a closer look at the offending plastic gadget. I went downstairs to investigate. Computers smoking? Nope. Oven off? Yep. Cars on fire? Nope. Heater smoking? Nope.
Baffled, I went back upstairs and got back into bed.
"Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp! Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp!" "Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirp!" Now it wasn't quitting.
Oh, our ears. Oh no! Goofy Junior might wake up! Oh crap!
Hubbie ran downstairs to go for the breaker. It's one of those smoke detectors that doesn't have a battery - it's hooked into our electric system, not a great feature at this point.
I got on the chair and held my ears while I inspected the devilish thing. I hit it several times (my standby solution to things that don't work right), to no avail, then tried pressing on various points, thinking maybe something had come loose. About that same time, it went off.
Whew! Hubbie got the breaker switched. My ears were ringing. Luckily, Junior was still sawing logs. Unbelievable, since all this happened right outside his door!
We left the damn thing hanging from the ceiling and went back to bed. In the morning, I found out that Hubbie had not switched the breaker...there is no breaker for it! How the hell do we switch it off!?!?!?
So I'm hoping we won't have a repeat performance at 3:00am this morning. Or Saturday morning. Or Sunday morning.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Oeuf Oeuf!
So after the voices of reason spoke to me (thanks commentors!), I am changing directions and looking at toddler beds for our darling Goofy Not-so-Junior.
I fired up Google and tried "toddler bed". These first attempts yielded me the obnoxious race car/firetruck/princess castle beds. Ugh. Does our child have to be constantly bombarded with bright primary colors and shapes...even when he sleeps? How about "No". Shocking opinion, I know...
I pulled up Google and tried "modern toddler bed", hoping for some semblance of style for poor Junior. Well I got style alright, complete with a very large price tag - $500 for the Petra toddler bed (on "sale" for $397!). What a bargain! NOT!
I looked further and found the Oeuf Oeuf toddler bed. "Oeuf oeuf" must mean "overpriced, plain white bed" in French. This one was $480. I don't think we spent that much on our last queen-sized bed!
Also keep in mind that these prices do not include the damn mattress.
Then another voice of reason spoke...Loving Husband. These words came out of his mouth: "You know, the best thing about some of these beds is the bedding." Hmmm.... Here's an idea: Get a plain-Jane bed and put some kick ass bedding on it. Voila! Folks, we have a plan!
I found a simple-though-stylist white bed on Amazon.com for $79. While I still think this is a bit high, I can probably drive down to my local Babies R Us store and save the shipping cost. This makes me smile.
Then I thought about eBay. I buy everything on eBay, so why not a toddler bed? As I suspected, there were a few toddler beds out on eBay. Try 727 of them!
My first search was for "toddler bed". I didn't want to search through all 727 results, so I started modifying my search. I have kind of an obsession with this, so be forewarned...
So, I went from:
"toddler bed"
to
"toddler bed -sheets -car -cottage -sheet -bedding -"bed set" -crib -princess -girl -girls -pink -hearts -fire -train -winnie -dora -wiggles -pokemon -castle -nemo -batman -beetle -mickey -bear -racecar -incontinent -ark -bob -spongebob -veggie -flower -tractor -coupe -clifford -roadster -jeep"
That got me down to a more manageable 137 items (2 pages). And I would have further modified, but goshdarnit, eBay limits the number of characters you can put in that search box to...well...however many I have there. Who knew?
And for those of you that are curious, I did find 2 of the Amazon.com beds, for a fraction of the price. However, I have to either go to Allen, Texas or Sarasota, Florida to pick it up. With gas prices like they are, now we are back up in the Petra bed range. Oeuf!
I fired up Google and tried "toddler bed". These first attempts yielded me the obnoxious race car/firetruck/princess castle beds. Ugh. Does our child have to be constantly bombarded with bright primary colors and shapes...even when he sleeps? How about "No". Shocking opinion, I know...
I pulled up Google and tried "modern toddler bed", hoping for some semblance of style for poor Junior. Well I got style alright, complete with a very large price tag - $500 for the Petra toddler bed (on "sale" for $397!). What a bargain! NOT!
I looked further and found the Oeuf Oeuf toddler bed. "Oeuf oeuf" must mean "overpriced, plain white bed" in French. This one was $480. I don't think we spent that much on our last queen-sized bed!
Also keep in mind that these prices do not include the damn mattress.
Then another voice of reason spoke...Loving Husband. These words came out of his mouth: "You know, the best thing about some of these beds is the bedding." Hmmm.... Here's an idea: Get a plain-Jane bed and put some kick ass bedding on it. Voila! Folks, we have a plan!
I found a simple-though-stylist white bed on Amazon.com for $79. While I still think this is a bit high, I can probably drive down to my local Babies R Us store and save the shipping cost. This makes me smile.
Then I thought about eBay. I buy everything on eBay, so why not a toddler bed? As I suspected, there were a few toddler beds out on eBay. Try 727 of them!
My first search was for "toddler bed". I didn't want to search through all 727 results, so I started modifying my search. I have kind of an obsession with this, so be forewarned...
So, I went from:
"toddler bed"
to
"toddler bed -sheets -car -cottage -sheet -bedding -"bed set" -crib -princess -girl -girls -pink -hearts -fire -train -winnie -dora -wiggles -pokemon -castle -nemo -batman -beetle -mickey -bear -racecar -incontinent -ark -bob -spongebob -veggie -flower -tractor -coupe -clifford -roadster -jeep"
That got me down to a more manageable 137 items (2 pages). And I would have further modified, but goshdarnit, eBay limits the number of characters you can put in that search box to...well...however many I have there. Who knew?
And for those of you that are curious, I did find 2 of the Amazon.com beds, for a fraction of the price. However, I have to either go to Allen, Texas or Sarasota, Florida to pick it up. With gas prices like they are, now we are back up in the Petra bed range. Oeuf!
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