What the @#$% is a Connitt?

For about a year now, Goofy Junior has been mentioning a creature called a "connitt" (my spelling). The mention of the connitt always follows mention of things like spiders, snakes, lions and tigers. So connitts seem to fall in the general realm of the icky/dangerous type of critter.

I've never heard of such a creature. I've even gone so far as to do Internet searches for the elusive connitt.

In the past, I've tried to determine if I was just hearing the word wrong.

Me: Cougar?
Junior: No. Connitt.

Me: Condor?
Junior: NO! Connitt.

Me: Comet.
Junior: NO, Mommy! CONNITT. (said very slowly, like I'm three years old instead of him)

So I'm pretty sure that it's "connitt", even though I still don't know what that is. It's actually very scary how consistent he is about describing them.

Tonight he mentioned them again. We were talking about how dark it was getting and that it might storm. He said something like, "we should go inside so the connitts won't get us". So, like an idiot, I pressed for more information.


What do they eat?
They eat trucks.

Are they bigger than a dog?
Yes.

Are they bigger than a cow?
No.

Do they growl?

No.

Do they talk?
No, they are quiet.

Where do they live?
I don't know.

Is it hot or cold where they live?
They live in the sky.

Do they fly?
No, they move.

I'm perplexed. Is this a made-up creature in some kid's book? Is it one of those obscure critters (like the wombat) that is mentioned only on Baby Einsten videos? Or is my son a Stephen King wannabe and is making up things that go bump in the night? That's my boy!

Fate or Fuck-up?

Loving Husband and I have recently put in the paperwork to adopt again. We adopted our first son from Russia. He is absolutely perfect, in every single way. Well, there's that annoying screaming and no nap thing, but I digress...

Yet again, we jumped through all the flaming rings of red tape that are the Russian Adoption Process. We wrote autobiographies, we did financial statements, we got criminal background checks, we got referral letters from friends and family. We got all this stuff notarized. Then we got all this stuff apostilled (a fancy term for "we don't believe your notary is a notary, so we make you get the Secretary of State to staple a piece of paper on top of the document and then we believe you"). BTW, apostilling costs $10 a document. Can I get an "ouch"?

Finally we had a critical mass of documentation. And I do mean "critical". Our dossier (a fancy term for "great gob o' paperwork") would break your foot if dropped upon it. We were issued a I-600 form to complete, then instructed to turn it in at CIS (previously known as INS) and get fingerprinted.

Our first appointment consisted of getting turned away at the door because we did not have a copy of our adoption agency's license. Huh? With our first adoption, we did not need that. Guess what? They changed the rules. Damn bureaucrats! Can you still call them that if they're Russian?

Could we call and have them fax a copy of the license in? NO. They did not have a fax machine for that purpose. HUH? Doesn't everyone with a pulse have a fax machine? I could probably send a fax on my phone nowadays...if the touch-screen would work. ...but there I go digressing again.

Anyway, we made another appointment, and with license in hand, we got in and got fingerprinted. It went so smoothly. We should have known something was up...

We recently got a nice, official-looking packet in the mail. It is from the American Consultate General. It contains a "welcome to the adoption process" letter, and application for visas for us to travel, and a nice map to the consultate office overseas.

One problem...it's from China.

Balance

Balance, balance, balance,
they say it's what to strive for.
But when I start to nix one thing,
up pop three or four more.
I killed a business late last spring,
it really was a helpful thing.
But then I picked up sports and wine
and started going out to dine.
My hubbie got a brand new job
with lots of new demands.
Since he is busy much more now,
I need three sets of hands.
I'm working hard and playing hard
and trying to stay sane.
But finding time to laugh and sing,
is really quite a pain.
Balance, balance, balance,
it sounds so easy, right?
When when I try to do it all,
I end up up all night.

Fun Stuff!

Not much time to post, but I'll share something that I just found. It's a site with super-cool, unique stuff for sale. Cool. Cheap! Even cooler.

Check it out: Plum Party Boutiques

My wish list is getting quite long from this site. I call dibs on the izzy stripe tote!

And the 'delight' party set too! Just because it reminds me of those coloring books that were popular when I was in about middle school. Anyone else remember those? The ones that had very intricate designs, and you bought special thin-tipped markers to color in. No? Okay, ya, well, I'm old. I'll look on the good ole 'Net and see if I can find a picture or something.

And while we're at it...the tinserella wine glass fringes. What fun!

Enjoy!

UPDATE: Well folks, I'm officially older than dirt (or at least the Internet). I cannot find hide nor hair of the magic marker books. They were mostly flower designs, if I'm remembering right. If anyone has a clue as to what I'm talking about, and can find a decent link, let me know. You'll get bonus Goofy points.

MORE UPDATE: Ah! My faith in the Internet is restored. I guess the books were called "Stained Glass Coloring Books". I couldn't find a flower example, but here's another good example. Whew. Mystery solved.

Why?!

Why is it...

That my mobile phone breaks (the touchscreen quits working, and I have to muddle through with the button navigation - ARG!), but when I finally (after a week!) make an appointment at the phone store, it magically starts working again? And this is the second time this schedule/magically-fixed sequence has happened!

That I finally get a free 20 minutes to pop by the drugstore for my high-dollar mascara (L'oreal Panoramic Curl, if you're curious), and the store is out. Out! They got the non-waterproof, which will be dribbling down my cheeks by noon, they got purple and grey colors, which don't help my translucent eyelashes a single bit. They got every color and style EXCEPT the one I need.

That on nights when I had tasks to do (work, bills, wine bottling, etc.), Goofy Junior decides to stage a strike on bedtime, but when I have nothing planned, he jumps into bed, grins and says, "night-night". And actually goes to sleep!

That my 3-year-old son is obsessed with flip-flops. He kept stealing mine, so I had to break down and buy him a pair. Try finding flip-flops in toddler sizes! I hit the mother lode at our grocery store - child's size small flip-flops for a buck. He loves them. I plan on buying a dozen.

That I bought Stephen King's "The Dark Tower VII" book (all 800+ pages of it) in hardback, when it first came out (a year ago maybe) for about $35, but the only way I have time to "read" it is to go to library and get the audio CDs. For free.
NOTE: For any King fans out there, it's excellent. I'm really dreading getting to the end of this seven book series.

That my husband and I's normally pretty standard 40-hours-per-week jobs have both gotten crazy, to the point of about 50-hours-per-week AT THE SAME TIME. And we lost our once-a-week babysitter AT THE SAME TIME. Let's just say I'm really looking forward to the weekend, even though on Sunday (yes Mother's Day), I'll probably be in the office for a few hours.

I feel like Seinfeld with this stuff, but it helps to vent about the strangeness and ironic timing of some of this stuff.

Or maybe it's just life.

Goofy Checks In

No great "deep thoughts" postings this week (not that there are many of those type anyway from me). Here's what I've been up to, in no particular order...

I bottled my wine! Yippee! I now have 30 bottles of Chateau de Goofy - House of Pain blend. Chateau de Goofy is pretty self-explanatory. The House of Pain blend is due to the pain during the wine making process: physical, mental, spiritual. These past few months have been hard, so I want to look back and remember this time. When I'm drinking heavily.

The hardest part of bottling was cleaning 30 fucking bottles! De-labeling, cleaning, sterilizing. Then pouring and corking. All the full, corked bottles are on the workbench downstairs, like an army of soldiers waiting for battle. The battle must wait though...the soldiers have six months of aging ahead of them before they can go anywhere. It's an exercise in patience. Something I don't have a lot of.

My breasts are fine and dandy. I'm sick of talking 'bout 'em!

My back, on the other hand, is not fine and dandy. I quit going to the chiropractor and guess what? My back still hurts. The key is...it doesn't hurt any MORE than when I was going. After much introspection and pressing for advice from friends, I decided to go the "traditional medicine" method, and talked to my general practitioner doc. He promptly prescribed anti-inflammatories and physical therapy. I haven't started the drugs - I have a problem with "masking" the symptoms before I go to the PT and the anti-inflammatories come with so many warning labels that I can hardly see inside the bottle (no drinking. no advil. no sun. may make you dizzy or tired.) I can't wait for the physical therapy. I've heard that they figure out which exercise makes you hurt, then promptly make you do three sets. Oh joy!

Work is Ca-razy (notice the capital "C"). My company is spinning off from its parent company in exactly ONE WEEK. We will lose most of our servers, databases, data...basically a lot of our infrastructure is going away. I fear that a lot of small details have been overlooked and we will all end up standing outside the building next Thursday morning, wondering why none of our access card work. ...you think I'm joking. Hmmm....

We are trying to figure out what to do with Memorial Day. There are several activities going on here in town, but we are getting itchy feet. We wanted to go camping in mid-April, but the rain (and cold!) wouldn't allow it. We are both taking Friday off before the holiday, and it's hard to pass up a FOUR-DAY weekend to travel somewhere. Where to go? Where to go? Stay tuned and you'll find out.

Speaking of travel, I started last year doing a trip on my own. No hubbie, no friends. Just me and 6-8 other strangers. I really like meeting other people, especially active people that enjoy the outdoors, so this is a good thing. But I can't figure out where to go. I have a whopping FOUR WEEKS of vacation this year, so I could take a week without blinking. But the little kid inside me says, "Hmmm...one trip for a week. Nah. Take two trips of 3 days each! See more stuff! Experience more things!" Sigh. The latest choices are kayaking in the San Juan Islands (by Washington State); kayaking in Kenai Fjords National Park (in Alaska); or hiking, rafting and canoeing in the Canadian Rockies. From these choices, you'd think I like to be cold and wet. Guess I'll find out, huh?

I also made a Gooey Butter Cake tonight. It turned out about eight times better than I could have imagined. Deliciouso! I planned on taking it into work, but Loving Husband is trying to talk me out of it. That's a compliment of the highest order. I'm headed downstairs now to get a Goofy-sized slice and a cuppa Joe. Cheers!

Goofy Glows in the Dark?

Soon, I will glow in the dark. I've been x-rayed so many, many times, and more to come. WTF you say? Let me explain....

First there was the back pain*. Complete with follow-up x-ray to determine progress (not much, if you're curious).

Then there was the Big 4-0 Celebratory Mammogram (but yet... no parade with streamers. sigh.) Squish and x-ray both boobs.

Then the scary "You Didn't Get Mail, You got the Scary Phone Call" Follow-up Mammogram. Squish and x-ray that suspicious-looking right boobie only.

Then the "We Still Don't Like What We See, So Let's Operate" needle biopsy (aka THE DRILL). Followed up with (you guessed it, folks), more squishing and x-raying of that pesky right bazoomba. **

Then attention turned upward (Thank the heavens!) to my teeth. Annual dental exam last week. Need to x-ray those teeth. This time I got a spooky full-frontal x-ray. My eyes were in it! Well, not the eyes, because they don't show up, but the sockets. Ew! Very spooky to look at. But no cavities, ma!

Today I went to the doctor for The Cold That Started in March. It's still here and I'm pissed. Doc refused to give me antibiotics back in April (what, is there a shortage of these, like the gas?), so I got some crazy bronchitis thing. It's okay during the day, but at night, the chest congestion rolls in like low tide into the ocean. He put me on an inhaler (new experiences..yeah!) and ordered me up a chest x-ray. At least there's no squishing involved.

And, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I mentioned my back (see first item above). He poked me in the back and decided to order me up a back x-ray.

So sometime this week I get to have my chest and back x-rayed. In all seriousness, I will ask the technician about all this x-raying and it's affect on my health. I can't imagine I'll be able to sleep well with all the glowing in the dark and all.


* This was actually one of my better posts. If you got some time to burn, check it out. The rest of the links are there for show.
** Everything turned out negative (as in GOOD) from all this. And now I have a cool scar that I can't show anyone.