Thursday, December 16, 2004

No More Boo Boo Bunnies!

Dammit! Why do non-parents think that a good baby gift is the Boo Boo Bunny? We have received no less than 3 of these ridiculous things.

In case you've never crossed paths with the Boo Boo Bunny, it's a tiny plastic square filled with liquid (water? bunny pee?) that you put in your freezer. (larger picture here) When your precious darling falls down and bumps his/her sweet little head/nose/chin/knee/name-another-body-part-here, you rush to the freezer, grab the square and tuck it inside the tiny pastel-colored stuffed bunny (included with the plastic square), secure it with the velcro strap and place it on the appropriate injured body part.

The idea is that your little darling will LOVE the little Bunny and will let you ice the appropriate area, thus reducing swelling, scarring and other skin damage.

Okay, here's my beef: Kids HATE these things. What the first thing that a typical kid does when you put something cute (or actually even non-cute) on their head, where they can't see it? They squirm around so that they can see it. Or they grab your hand and pull it down to see the cute object. The point is: If they are looking at the Bunny, it is not on the sore/swollen/profusely bleeding body part, and IS NOT DOING ANY GOOD. What about a good old ice cube? Wrap it in a paper towel for variety. Isn't this just as effective and (bonus!) free?!

The tag on these ridiculous wastes of good money say:
If a boo boo has you feeling crummy,
put the ice cube in my tummy.
Hold it to your boo boo tight
and everything will be all right!

No, everything will NOT be alright. Junior will scream even harder as this adorable plush freezing-cold object is pressed on his boo-boo. Maybe he will even develop a fear of bunnies, or of plush toys. I don't know...someone should do a study on this!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Weird Karmic Shit - Part Two

(read Weird Karmic Shit first - below)

My mood this Sunday was crappy. Bad. Didn't want to do anything. Didn't want to go anywhere. One of those "where is my life going?" type moods. Yuk. And my husband had an all-day volleyball tournament, so I had Junior responsibility (who is 1-1/2 years old) all day.

I tried to use the FEELING techniques to lift my spirit, but my spirit was having none of it.

And the following happened:
Junior refused to take his 2-hour nap. That he takes every day. Without fail. Without effort on our part. He cried for AN HOUR. Finally, he took a measly hour nap. I was so tired after going in to soothe him that I needed a nap.

Later that night, the bottom of my foot started hurting. Suddenly. Badly. Like I had broken it. Yes, that bad! I'm not making this shit up, you know! Anyway, it hurt. It actually still hurts, dammit.

On Monday, my husband was leaving Quizno's and the door blew back into his face, cutting the bridge of his nose quite badly. He ended up coming home for the day with a horrible headache and a nice chunk of skin missing from his nose.

Did my bad FEELINGS magnetize bad stuff to me and my family? Did I cause this bad stuff to happen? Man, I don't need that kind of pressure. This FEELING stuff sucks! I'm going back to being an un-FEELING's much safer that way.

Weird Karmic Shit

So I get this audiotape from the library called "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting". I'd been listening to it for a day or so on the drive to/from work. The author (who is also the not-so-good narrator) talks about how FEELINGS are the key to getting whatever I want from life. Don't use your brain - just FEEL how it would be to have the things you want and the atoms will magnetize their way to you. (I'm not joking here...this is her actual philosophy).

I'm game for trying anything...once. So I gave it a go. Money, I thought, I would like to magnetize some money my way. Not millions. I'm not greedy. But enough to give me some freedom. Or at least buy some extra Christmas gifts, fer Christ's sake (no pun intended). I tried FEELING that I was a money magnet. I visualized that money flying towards me from all directions. Hopefully only dollars would come, as coins could pose an injury risk!

This was Thursday night and Friday on the drive to work. When I got to work that morning there was an envelope on my desk with my name on it. "Oh goody, an early Christmas card from an over-achieving co-worker", I thought. I opened it. Inside was a Thank You card from a co-worker and two Applebee's gift cards for $25 apiece. I was floored! I had done a mediocore job for this guy, but here was a nice thank you. My mood was great after that. It didn't strike me until mid-morning...I had attracted some money! Not green money, but plastic money. Was it karma?

That evening I went to the casino with some friends for dinner and gambling. At dinner, the waitress mistakenly served me a $24 filet instead of the $15 sirloin that I ordered. Karma again? Stupid waitress? I don't care. It was a damn good "sirloin". (wink-wink) Maybe I had Food Karma. I was attracting food like crazy!

Then I hit the craps table. I'm not great at craps, but I love the excitement of the table and think it's a great people-watching game. And I won. I doubled my money and then some! Karma yet again? It wasn't my superior craps abilities, that's for sure. My friends also won. Could I rub my karma off on them? Would they think I was getting fresh if I did that?

More importantly...will money (or food) continue to magnetize my way? Stay tuned!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Bad Blogger! Bad! Bad!

Well, if you've been checking my site, you probably think I just got back from vacation. Ha! Don't I wish!, I don't wish. My "Project Vacation" was a bust. An absolute bust. Maybe I set my expectations too high...

It's Las Vegas! It will be sunny and warm!
Actually, no, it was rainy and damn chilly most the time. Until the day we flew back home.

We will win big!
Nope. Lost. Then lost some more. Tried new craps strategy that worked excellently on my home computer. Lost more. Since the majority of my time was earmarked for gambling, all this losing really sucked the big one.

Husband's conference dinner "Old Style Las Vegas Night Out" will rock!
Ha! This thing was so lame I could write an entire post on it. Mediocre food. Mediocre Rat Pack impersonators...being drowned out by drunken conference attendees hitting on each other. No dancing. Bad wine. Groan.

Staying at high-priced hotel will make us feel ritzy!
It had quite the opposite effect. During the day (on a Wednesday even!), table minimums were $15. Yikes! Where were the $5 tables? They were down the street in the seedy casinos with the cheesy decor and smoke rolling out the doors. I felt very poor. We won a bit at the cut-rate casinos, but the environment was a real downer.

On the bright side, Junior did wonderfully! Every time we called, he was playing, laughing and overall no missing us a damn bit. He also did not give the babysitter-couple one dirty diaper. Not one! Do you know the odds of that? THEY should have been the ones in Vegas! We found out later that he was saving all his lovin' for us (4 dirty diapers the Saturday we returned). Jackpot!