Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Six Goofy Things About Goofy

Dang! I didn't run fast enough and Dorothy tagged me for this meme.

Here are the rules - Each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things about You." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.

I've modified the theme to "Six Goofy Things About Me". I've always got to be different...

Okay, drumroll, please...

1. I skipped second grade. While this might make you think I some sort of Smarty Pants, think again. Second grade is where you learn geography. I missed this, so I am very geographically-challenged. I remember when I was about 25 years old, playing Pictionary with some friends. I got the word "Montana" and was stumped about where that was. Yes, really. I drew a darn good picture of the US, then started drawing circles in the west coast region (I knew that much).

2. I grew up knowing there was no Santa. Yep. My parents never perpetuated the Santa Myth. I knew the whole time what was really going on. And I was cool with it. In fact, I've always held the belief that I would not lie to my kid(s) about Santa's existance. I would be very honest with them about the spirit of Christmas (the giving part, not the capitalist spend-fest part), and tell them that Santa was just a symbol for how cool it is to give other people stuff during this holiday. However (ahem.) there are lots of forces against me here. Namely, Gramma, Grandpa, daycare, and every other little kid around. Goofy Junior came home the other day sad and said, "if I'm not good, Santa won't bring me any gifts for Christmas". What parent would actually follow through on this threat? None. Then why do we make it?! Okay, probably more on this later...

3. Continuing with the holiday theme....I can't wrap presents. I never learned this skill. I am totally, completely, utterly inept at wrapping. Gift bags, you say? I can't figure those out either. Why don't the damn things come with instructions? Mine always end up looking like someone stuffed a used Kleenex in a paper bag. And the gift always shows. Drat!

4. I am good at word stuff. Not necessarily writing (obviously!), but mainly grammar and proofreading. I can find a typo in just about any document you can put in front of me.* I frequently find typos on the news (not too hard, if you notice that sort of thing). It's actually a curse and it drives me crazy. I was very close to majoring in English in college, until I realized I was destined for starvation and poverty if I did so.

My biggest pet peeve is when folks confuse plurals with possessives. For example, "Orange's on sale for 99 cents". Arg! This is wrong! It should be "Oranges on sale for 99 cents". You only use the apostrophe for possessives, like "Spike's oranges are on sale for 99 cents."

Also, I can do a Word Search puzzle faster than anyone around. Challenge me sometime and see!

5. I have a Food-with-a-Face problem. I can't eat any sort of animal that still looks like the live animal. For example, boiled shrimp. I can't eat them. They still look like they could hop off the cocktail glass, run out the door and jump into the sea. Eek. This is why I can't make the Thanksgiving Day turkey. The first year we made a turkey, Mr. Goofy was jokingly making the raw turkey do a little "can-can" dance with his hands. I had to leave the room and could hardly eat any turkey that year. Give me a nice, juicy, anonymous-looking steak any day. You can keep your creepy lobster, thank you very much. Shiver.

6. I have an addiction issue with video games. I'm not joking. Back in my twenties, my roommate got a Nintendo system. I called in sick for most of the week, until I had gotten little Mario all the way to the final level. I have to steer clear of games that have more than a few levels, because I just can't stop playing. I fell off the wagon a few times for Bookworm in the past few years. It's like Scrabble meets Tetris. There is no known end to this game. Believe me, I've played for days. Luckily, you can pause this game for things like eating and sleeping!

*Pleese Noot: These does nott meen that I myself donot make gramatikal errs or typoos. I try knot too, but shite happenes, folkes. :-)

5 comments:

Jane said...

Yeah, sorry about calling Bookworm to your attention. It got me for a while, too, but I finally gave up when it got to the point where I couldn't lose and it was too boring to continue.

dorothy said...

I agree with you on the grammar thing. I, too, am a member of the Grammar Police.

Cagey said...

I believed in Santa as a kid, but he wasn't a big deal. My parents didn't use him for threats and he only brought a few gifts - the neatest part was the stocking, actually.

lorib said...

I'd be happy to give you lessons on the gift wrapping. I've spent many hours at the office wrapping gifts for photo shoots. Plus I want to see where you are going wrong. =)

For your amusement - I'm a notorious paper saver and even as a child never ripped the paper off my packages. We had to take turns opening our presents so I think this compulsion grew from my satisfaction in watching my brothers fume as they waited for me to methodically open each piece of tape.

Jane said...

I've tagged you for another, similar meme.