Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Goofy's Report on the State of Capitalism in America's Heartland

It's in trouble, folks.

I "walked the Maul" today. And it was downright BORING. Where are all the shoppers? It was like a frickin' ghost town!

FYI for fellow Kansas Citians - I went to the Oak Park Mall - once a booming mecca of all things shiny and new. Now...not so much.

It should have been an exciting time...most stores had 50-75% off sales! Of good stuff! But in many of the stores I visited, I was the sole shopper in the store. The clerks looked downright bored. I felt a little bad for not really "shopping".

A couple of snippets from my notes (yes, I took notes! I told you I would!):

- Dell had a kiosk in the Maul. Good idea. It was one of the few kiosks with more than one person lurking around it. I did a little laptop fondling while I was there. I had to give mine back to The Man.
- Sushi in the food court! Is this really necessary?
- Where are all the shoppers? Did the Rapture occur? Oops.
- If you need a job, check out the Maul. Almost every store was hiring. Hopefully that's not my destiny. Gulp. Maybe the sushi store is hiring....
- No Auntie Anne's Pretzel store anymore!? That was going to be my reward for making it out alive. Where is the pretzel store, dammit?!?!

Yeah...I didn't get a lot of good takeaways from the Maul. Not even a damn pretzel.

Tomorrow: Goofy visits the Temple of the Anti-Christ (aka Starbucks)

Odd Observation of the Day: The Borders store at 119th & Blackbob has a sign in the bathroom stating, "Staff Must Wash Hands." Underneath the text is a line of brail.
I wondered:
a) why would a bookstore hire a blind person? wouldn't all the books feel the same to them (no books I've ever seen at Borders have brail coded on them)
b) how would this blind employee know that the sign was in that spot, on that wall, in the bathroom, and that they should feel for it?
and further
c) does bookstore staff really NEED to wash their hands? it's not like they are serving food or anything. and it's not like all the other schmoes fondling the books have to wash their hands. Kinda makes me want to wash my hands after going there...


Average Jane said...

I think the mall concept's time has come and gone. That's why it makes no sense to me that people are trying to "save" Bannister Mall, which has been mostly empty for years. Nobody wants to make the kind of shopping commitment that a mall calls for anymore. That's why we have so many sprawling shopping centers being built now.

Cagey said...

In December, the mall was ridiculously CROWDED. However, folks are getting their credit card statements this month, hence the reason for no Mall Trolling in January. That is my guess, anyway.

Borders does serve food! In their coffee shop. Even if they weren't, they are handling books and my money. They damned well better wash their hands. hee hee

Cagey said...

Oops, meant to mention that Bannister Mall died because it was freakin' SCARY to shop there. The likes of Oak Park still has good business because folks are not frightened to go there.

dbennett said...

In 1989 I worked in the mall - the big one in Burnsville, Minnesota, square in the heartland (suburban Minneapolis). Back then, the mall was alive and well, mall hair was a real and living phenomenon, acid wash jeans with fold-down waistlines lined the windows and I thought the half gallon refills of Mountain Dew for $.67 were just bitchin.

And even back then, you could play racquetball on a Saturday afternoon in January in the mall. That's capitalism in America. It's a lot of fun at the time, but it comes with a hangover.