Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Talk

When you already have a child, and another is on the way, there comes a time when you have to sit down and talk to them about how things are going to change.

When one is pregnant, you have some sort of idea about the time frame (typically 9 months, from what I hear). You can also plan on spending some extra time with your child, so that when New Kid comes, they feel all lovey-dovey and not jealous of Parental-Time-Sucking New Kid.

However....

When you are adopting second child, things work a bit differently.

For example, we had The Talk with Alex about New Kid about a year and a half ago. We really thought it would happen quickly. Of course, he immediately went to school and started talking about his baby brother.

I had to slap the folks that started gazing at my belly. Sidenote: I don't know how you pregnant moms deal with people staring, fondling and commenting on your belly. How rude is this!

One time last fall, Alex & I were grocery shopping. He picked up a 4-pack of yogurt and said, "Look Mommy! One for me, one for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for my baby brother."

Better check that expiration date on the yogurt...I don't think Baby Brother will be here in time to eat it!

So now that we have gotten The Call, we have to have The Talk with Alex again. New Kid is not like Elmo - just a make-believe furry creature that never comes to your house for real - just through that box in the living room. New Kid is really coming...look out!

Another difference is that, instead of being able to spend quality time with Alex, we get to leave him for 7 days, then come back for a few months (without New Kid - how confusing will that be?), then leave him for about 20 days, then come back with New Kid and rock his world.

We have to do things like leave him notes, photos, etc. so he doesn't forget who we are when we are traveling.

And - are kids like dogs?....should we introduce them on 'neutral ground' so no one feels dominate/submissive on the 'home turf'?

We are treading new ground here. The Talk should be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes!

1 comment:

Cagey said...

Eek. Great post!

I have no advice because Arun was too little to comprehend any of it.

However, with Alex being older, you can do some cool, fun stuff with him. Like getting him involved in preparation of the room and stuff.

Love the yogurt story, BTW.