Thursday, February 02, 2006

Life is Too Short...

Maybe it's the fact that it's the New Year and I've been in 2006 Goal-Setting Mode. (since I'm a Capricorn, this is serious stuff for me, folks!) Or maybe it's the fact that 4 days before the New Year, I had a milestone birthday that begins with '4' and ends in '0'. I've morphed into this new attitude where life is just too short for a lot of things.

Oh and look...I've made a list!

Life is too short for....

Bad Books
I'm stealing Cagey's wonderful "Theory of 100 Pages". If you don't care what happens after the first 100 pages, put the book down and step away. There are too many good books out there waiting for my attention.

Bad Food
Not that I eat at McDonald's anyway, but I'm going to start not eating anything that isn't great. I'm talking 'bout you, Sonic! You and your fucking soggy tator tots!

Stupid People
They're fucking everywhere, aren't they?! Just say no to the Schmoes.

I'm hiring a housecleaner this year. I just wish I could find one that did laundry - that's my least favorite thing. I'd rather clean a toilet than do the laundry. Yes, I'm a Lazy Ass, what about it?

House Improvement Projects
I'm hiring a painter. I just painted my entryway and realized two things - 1) I don't get as much satisfaction painting as I do doing other things; and 2) It takes way longer than I thought to get a room painted.

Lack of Focus
When I focus on goals, they get done. When I don't, they don't. Duh! It took me 40 years to figure this out? What a dope I am.

People with No Sense of Humor
What happened to these people to make them so serious?! Give them a hearty dose of Leno and make them snap out of it! Please!

OCD Moms
Moms that want to control every aspect of their kid's existance. No TV, no candy, no junk food, no processed food....NO FUN! I shudder to think what will happen to these kids when the apron strings loosen and they are out on their own. Lindsey Lohan, anyone?

Not Showing the Love
Kiss your husband and your kidlings every night. Every night, people. I don't care if you are furious at them. Shit happens and life is short.


Dorothy said...

Call my cleaning lady. Master Maids. Do it. Do it now!

Cagey said...

GREAT list! Definitely could be used as a basis for a tasty Life Recipe.

The saying "never go to bed angry" sadly sounds so trite, but is SO TRUE.

pharmgirl said...

I'm down with the 'no sense of humor' thing. I think I'm going to break up with my ENT doc over this. He's roughly my age and acts like a robot. I try to joke around and get annoyed everytime. "Does not compute!" Sigh.