Are Kids and Good Food Mutually Exclusive!?!

Hey! Look what I started...

There was a recent article in KC Magazine called "Family Dining With Kids" (January 2008 - p. 57 of the link). Their suggestions for eating out well with your kids in Kansas City? Crayola Cafe, Rain Forest Cafe, T-Rex Cafe, Fritz's, Papa Keno's and Avelluto's Italian Delight.

This pissed me off.

I don't buy into the belief that your dining-out life ends when you have kids. I believe that you can still go out and eat some pretty darn good food, with kids in tow. We do it often.

Anyway, my full rant is here: Chowhound

And I think I've hit a nerve - I have quite a few comments to the post. Take a look and chime in with your thoughts!

A Day of Water Horses and Wills

Wills:
Since we will be traveling to Russia again, someday, we have been needing to get our wills into place. Just in case.

I say "wills" (plural) because, yes, we BOTH need to do our own will. Seems strange, because I believe if one of us kicks the proverbial bucket and the other one is still around, all assets go to the surviving spouse. No questions asked. But maybe that's just a Kansas thing.

I signed up with Prepaid Legal about a year ago, with one of the main reasons being that they do your will for free. And your spouse's for $20, I found out later. Not a bad deal, I think.

Except....

Who wants to think about dying? Not me, buddy. We have procrastinated and procrastined. Then, when we got to the actual paperwork (a fairly easy 5 page form), there were Decisions.

Big Decisions.

Like who would take custody of Alex if we both go down in a fiery plane crash? Who would manage distributing the assets from our mondo estate (1 mortgaged house, 2 cars, and 3 iPods)? How about who makes the decision to continue life-supporting services, should one of us be unable to make that decision? Who gets Murphy (our dog)?

Gulp. Like I said, you just don't think (or WANT to think) about this stuff on a daily basis.

Anyway, I finally got the paperwork done today and in the mail. Now I'm prepared to die. EEK!

Water Horses:
Alex & I went to see Water Horse: Legend of the Deep tonight. What a great movie! And not just a kid movie either. It's about the legend of the Loch Ness Monster, and rated PG, so I was a bit concerned that Alex might have nightmares for the next 10 years if I took him. But the only other option was Enchanted, and, with or without Patrick Dempsey, I would have needed at least a bottle of wine before venturing to that piece of cinematic excellence.

Anyway, to test my Scaredy Cat theory, I went to the movie's website and showed him the movie trailer. He was not scared and wanted to see all the trailers. Dude, there were about 10 snippets of the movie available to watch! I felt like I saw the whole thing before even leaving the house. But there was more to the movie after all.

It was very well done, the scenery was amazingly beautiful - made me want to visit Scotland. And the effects related to the "monster" were superb. There were some perilous scenes and some gunfire, but Alex was pretty un-fazed by that. He enjoyed the cute monster parts (when the monster is small) and there's plenty of comedic parts in the movie.

I've always been intrigued by the legend of the Loch Ness Monster, and this movie attempts to put some explanation behind the legend. I thought it was very well done.

Although from the minute we sat down and someone rattled a popcorn bag, all Alex could say was "Mommy, I need a snack." (looking pointedly at the bag-rattler). I managed to put him off until we got home (I'm not buying a $10 bag of popcorn when we have popcorn in the fridge!), then he had two crackers and crashed.

Let's hope the monster stays out of his dreams. And mine too.

My Quarterly Mommy Post

Hold onto your hats, Dear Readers, it's a Mommy* Post!**

What kid-related and kid-created paperwork do you keep for posterity?

I'm talking about all the Daily Poop sheets from daycare. All the Good/Bad Kid Notes from preschool. The painted hand-prints on blue sheets of construction paper. And the footprints too.

I'm also talking about the kid-created stuff. The Picassoesque drawing of the family (giant stick kid, tiny stick parents, stick dog that looks like a tree). The coloring book sheets that are never colored "within the lines". *** The stickered, stamped, colored Masterpieces.

Do you keep it all? How do you decide what to keep and what to ditch?

Here's my thoughts to get things going:

I keep:
- Significant kid-related documents. Examples: Bad Notes from Preschool (these could be good for a laugh later), Good Notes from Preschool (stuff you feel proud about), and Milestone-related documents (first name-writing attempt)
- Size-related stuff: handprints, footprints (these will be fun to dig out in a few years and compare)
- Drawings that I like. I just don't think you can keep them all. And some are just doodling. That said, I still have a BUNCH. Goofy Junior is using a scissors like a fiend now and I showed him how to cut up pix in magazines and use glue to make a collage last weekend. And he knows how to use tape. Let's just say our entry hall looks like an art gallery installation right now. Or a daycare.
- Handmade cards. I'm a sucker for these. Hand-made Mother's Day cards, birthday cards, Just Because cards. I keep all of these.

I ditch:
- Most colored coloring book sheets.
- Stickered and stamped Masterpieces.
- Sheets that told me what GJ ate for lunch at daycare. Or when he pooped. Old news.

And....I totally get busted all the time for throwing these things away. You see, it seems that GJ does not approve of me throwing ANYTHING of his away. Here's how this conversation usually goes:

GJ (throwing something away in the trash can): Hey!!!
Me: What?
GJ (pulling the paper with the letter "e" stamped all over it): Who threw this away?
Me (totally acting dumb): Um, what? What is it?
GJ (gingerly pulling the e-stamped thing from the trash): This! My piece of paper. (makes sad face)
Me: Oh, that. Hmmm.... Wow. It must have gotten thrown away with some mail. Did you leave it lying around? Maybe Daddy threw it away. (note me shifting blame here to everyone but me. Ha!) Hey, what letter is that on there? (always teaching, I am...)

This usually results in having to keep the dreaded Masterpiece around for another day, until he's not looking, then putting it deeper in the trash can.


*This is really a Parent Post, since it applies to Mommies and Daddies. Always full disclosure here at Goofy Girl.

**Yes, I'm a Mommy. And no, I don't post a ton about being a Mommy. It's just one facet of who I am, so if it comes up, it comes up. Usually it is the LEAST goofy part of my world, so I just don't post a lot about it. You might think this is goofy. Well, did you notice the name of this blog? Okay then.

***Another side note (I'm into asterisks today): Does it bug you when you kid colors OUTSIDE the lines? This seems to drive some people crazy. I actually encourage it. There will be SO much time for conforming later, why pressure them with this now? Why stifle creative thinking at such a young age?

Goofy's Report on the State of Capitalism in America's Heartland

It's in trouble, folks.

I "walked the Maul" today. And it was downright BORING. Where are all the shoppers? It was like a frickin' ghost town!

FYI for fellow Kansas Citians - I went to the Oak Park Mall - once a booming mecca of all things shiny and new. Now...not so much.

It should have been an exciting time...most stores had 50-75% off sales! Of good stuff! But in many of the stores I visited, I was the sole shopper in the store. The clerks looked downright bored. I felt a little bad for not really "shopping".

A couple of snippets from my notes (yes, I took notes! I told you I would!):

- Dell had a kiosk in the Maul. Good idea. It was one of the few kiosks with more than one person lurking around it. I did a little laptop fondling while I was there. I had to give mine back to The Man.
- Sushi in the food court! Is this really necessary?
- Where are all the shoppers? Did the Rapture occur? Oops.
- If you need a job, check out the Maul. Almost every store was hiring. Hopefully that's not my destiny. Gulp. Maybe the sushi store is hiring....
- No Auntie Anne's Pretzel store anymore!? That was going to be my reward for making it out alive. Where is the pretzel store, dammit?!?!

Yeah...I didn't get a lot of good takeaways from the Maul. Not even a damn pretzel.

Tomorrow: Goofy visits the Temple of the Anti-Christ (aka Starbucks)

Odd Observation of the Day: The Borders store at 119th & Blackbob has a sign in the bathroom stating, "Staff Must Wash Hands." Underneath the text is a line of brail.
I wondered:
a) why would a bookstore hire a blind person? wouldn't all the books feel the same to them (no books I've ever seen at Borders have brail coded on them)
and
b) how would this blind employee know that the sign was in that spot, on that wall, in the bathroom, and that they should feel for it?
and further
c) does bookstore staff really NEED to wash their hands? it's not like they are serving food or anything. and it's not like all the other schmoes fondling the books have to wash their hands. Kinda makes me want to wash my hands after going there...

Forcing Creativity (aka Herding Cats)

As most of you know, I am working on My Next Big Thing. Most entrepreneurs discover a great idea, hone it, then run off to make it real. Not me. In typical Goofy fashion, I've quit my full-time, PAYING job first, to go work on the idea discovery phase. Backwards. As usual.

And I've been approaching this Idea Creation like work. Which is so wrong. And so not working.

I sit at my computer most days, surfing trend website, making notes, surfing business websites, making notes, surfing eBay, taking notes, etc.....looking for ideas that strike my fancy. Some days I rinse and repeat this process at the local library.

I have a notebook full of ideas that I don't love nor believe in.

I realized yesterday that I am going about entrepreneurship as if it was a corporate job. And (duh!) that won't work. Coming up with creative ideas is just like herding cats. You can't go about it in a systematic, organized way. The cats (or the ideas if you're following the analogy) simply look at you and yawn. "We are not playing that game," they say.

So how to get my brain to poop out a Creative Idea?

I think creatively in the shower. I could shower all day. But this makes it hard to take notes (they'd be all smudgey and stuff) and I'd be all pruney and I hate that. Bad idea.

I decided just now (yes, 2:00am Tuesday morning...what of it?) that I would take my husband's advice. He is of the Creative persuasion. He said, "Go walk the mall. You'll get a good idea of what's hot, what people are buying, etc."

While this is primo advice...I hate the Maul. I hate the pushy crowds, I hate the overpriced stores, I hate the People That Can't Park Right, I hate the whiny, spoiled kids, the indifferent store clerks, the stinky food court. Ugh. But I suppose it is just the bastion of capitalism that might steer me in the right direction, creativity wise.

Those cats better watch their asses. I'm comin' for 'em...

But I'm totally bringing a notebook and taking notes. Some habits die hard.

After the Maul, I will go haunt a local coffee house and do some people-watching. What are people frustrated by? What do they seem to want? World peace? A triple-mocha latte? A nap? Guess I will find out.

Those cats won't know what hit 'em. They will not only be herded, but in line in alphabetical order, before they even know what's going on.

I'll post about how this process goes for me.

In the meantime, do any right-brain-endowed readers have any ideas for me about creative-thinking strategies? Where do you get your best ideas? What else can I try?

I think I hear feline yawning!

Global Commerce, Traffic Court and Lemon Cake

What do these things have in common? Me. Today.

1. Global Commerce - My most recent eBay auction netted me a winner from Switzerland! Even though I specifically stated "US buyers" only (I had a feeling the item would have international interest), this Swiss Mister decided he would bid and win. Doh!

So I learned how to ship to Switzerland. Several visits to the local post office, a sextuple-copy customs form and $40 later...the final verdict is: This global commerce stuff is easy! Well...I suppose I should wait 6 - 10 days to decide. That's when the package should arrive. Should.

2. Traffic Courts - Remember the huge afternoon snowstorm we had back on December 15th? The one in the middle of the day, that came from nowhere? Yeah, that one. That day, as I was creeping back home through the snow-covered streets from a kidling birthday party, a friendly policelady pulled me over. There was no way I was speeding (remember the snowy streets?) and I hadn't done anything funky or illegal that I knew of (unless eating three pieces of birthday cake is a crime), but here she was, pulling me over.

My tags were expired! Eek! By two weeks. Yep, they had expired November 30th. On December 15th, in a snowstorm, she gives me a ticket for this. The ultimate irony? I had just bought the damn car off lease the DAY BEFORE (yes, Friday) and paid the damn sales tax, the damn personal property tax and the damn NEW TAGS. Yes, I told her this. The problem. I DIDN'T HAVE THE NEW PLATES ON THE CAR. Double dog DOH! She gave me the "yeah, right" look and wrote me up.

So, I went to traffic court today. I showed all my receipts to the kind judge. I gave her a wry smile. And had to pay $10 instead of $70. I call that a 'win'. And now I can add "traffic court" to my list of Life Experiences. Whee!

3. Lemon Cake. Never eat lemon cake then go do yoga. Never. Results are not pretty. Bleck.

Okay....so....

What the hell do I do now?!

My last day at Corporate America (aka "Working for The Man") was Monday.* Today was a holiday. Whee. I feel like I should get up early and join the ranks of the living zombies...er, working class tomorrow. One thing wrong with that idea.

I quit that shit.

So....now what?! I am in total control of my future. Total Control. Total. How freeing! How liberating! How fucking scared to death am I?

Very.

And .....not.

I vary between not being able to quit smiling and being very worried about not being a income-producing member of the Goofy family.

Due to my industry of choice (tech), I've always been the higher-income producing member of the Goofy household. Willingly. No worries. I've always accepted this role proudly.

So now, I'm feeling a little weird about my new Zero Income status.

Hoping it's temporary. Hoping The Million Dollar Idea comes soon. Help me, Donny Deutsche!

I've been in this situation before. During the "Dot-Com Boom", I found myself working for a Dot-Com Dog, realized it, and decided to get out while the gettin' was good. I did so and quickly jumped into the Next Thing Available, which would have been excellent, but for the Dot-Com baloon bust during the first six months of my new found freedom.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? RIGHT?!?!?

So....this is a rambling, conflicted, post-holiday, pre-freedom post. Stay tuned for when I actually get some focus and start doing some wonderful (yet, inevitably Goofy) things.

...should make for some good reading! :-)

*I absolutely could NOT resist the symmetry and closure of my last day being 12/31. Anal. Retentive.

Goofy Drinks...Justin Vineyards "The Orphan" 2005

This wine first grabbed my eye with its strange name ("The Orphan"). Then I realized that this wine was made by Justin Vineyards, a Paso Robles establishment known for their higher-priced (for me, anyway) Bordeaux-style red blends like Isosceles (about $60 retail for the 2004 release).

The tag line on the bottle explained the odd name...

"When we blend wines from our various lots each year we find there are always some who don't fit in. Rather than abandon them and deprive them of a home, we united these mostly Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah 'Orphans' and offer them for your adoption."

You have to appreciate the Marketing folks at Justin, who probably had a conversation like this:

Marketer #1:
"Hey, we've got all this juice left that's not good enough for our primo wines, what should we do?"

Marketer #2:

"Hmmmm....I've got it! Let's mix it all together, bottle it, put a cute label on it and sell it for twelve bucks a bottle! We're geniuses. Let's go have a two-hour lunch now. Whee!"

But the price tag and the name sealed the deal for me. I get to try a high-end vineyard's wine for $12? Oh, okay...twist my arm.

I opened the bottle and poured the wine. It was a deep, dark inky color, indicative of the wines in the blend (Cab Sav and Shiraz). So far, so good.

When I swirled and smelled the wine, I knew I was in for something good. It smelled like a big, bold, standoffish Cab. I could say "berries" or "pepper", but that just wouldn't give you the full nose. If you've even been in Napa Valley during harvest-time, imagine that smell. Or if you've ever been up-close-and-personal in a winery when they have a Cabernet vat open and are working the wine, imagine that smell. It was the smell I associate with big red wines - that are yes, maybe still a little young - but that I tend to love anyway.

I did a little Happy Dance, then tasted the wine.

YUM. It did not disappoint. It tasted like the big, bold Cab that its smell alluded to. Think blackberries and plum, fruity but not sweet. It was maybe a bit TOO big. And a bit too young. But my palate still liked it. The tannins hit the back of my tongue and got it tingling at just the right speed.

Ah yes...Food! I paired this wine with:

-V's Toasted Chicken Ravioli

-Bertolli Olive Oil & Garlic Pasta Sauce

This pairing ended up quite nicely. The food stood up to the wine, the wine stood up to the food. It was a very even match. I was a little perplexed about whether to do a white or red wine with this menu, but the red won, mainly because I think white wine and red pasta sauce is just wrong.

Final Bottle Status: Not empty...but only because I was eating solo! 9 out of 10 taste buds. This was a very nice wine that I will definitely buy again.

I would definitely get this wine again. I might grab a bottle and cellar it for a year, just to see what happens when the youngness wears off. If the bottle lasts that long!

Goofy Calls It Quits

So Monday I quit my job. Just like that. Well, not really "just like that". I think I've been considering a change for about 3 years now, only seriously for about 1 year.

All this madness started last week. I worked from home three of the four days for various reasons. And got SO much done. And it was SO stress-free. Then I went into work on Thursday and realized that I just don't fit in the corporate environment.* I got nothing done and was stressed the entire time.

So I drafted my resignation letter, to make me feel better. I thought it would be 'cleansing'. I got to the 'last day is...' part and had to enter some dates. I realized that if I put Monday's date in, two weeks would end on 12/31. The last day of the year. I'm a sucker for closure, so that clinched it...the letter would be sent on Monday.

Do I have another job? No. It's been a lifelong goal of mine to start my own business. I've actually started (and killed) about three so far...with one still limping along. It's time to get serious about this and make it happen. I'm consider this my retirement from Corporate America. I don't intend to look back.

What kind of business? No idea. And not for lack of ideas. No sirree...I've got tons of ideas. Great ones...goofy ones.... But with that annoying full-time job thing, there's just no time for focusing on market viability, sales forecasting and branding strategies, so part of my first steps will be whittling down the many ideas into the chosen few. Kinda like American Idol for business ideas.

Want a look into Goofy's mind? Okay, you asked for it! Here's an excerpt from The Notebook of Goofy Ideas. In no particular order...

• Pet Bling (who says Fifi can only have one dog tag? give her several, made of sterling silver, with sayings like "Sexy Bitch" or "Hot Dog")
• Glow in the dark keyboard (for those late-night surfing sessions)
• Customized band-aids (put Mommy's loving face on that ouchie!)
• Vitamin attachment for the kitchen sink (why not get some good vitamins with every glass of water you drink?)

So there's four of the many goofy ideas that pour through my brain on a daily basis. Will I actually make one of these ideas profitable? Will I come up with something else? Or will I tweak something already around to make it mine?

Stay tuned for Goofy's Next Big Thing...

*Mr. Goofy is laughing his ass off at this. He's known this for years. But I'm slow sometimes.

Goofy Drinks...Petite Sirah

I've accepted the challenge from Wannabe Wino to drink and review a Petite Sirah.

The wine I chose was a 2005 "39 Degrees" Petite Sirah (Sonoma County, CA). This wine is made by Cecchetti Wine Company, who also makes the Red Tree label.

I bought it based on the clever name (39 degrees is the latitude of the vineyard), the visually-appealing label and the region the wine was from (Sonoma County, CA). I bought this wine from a neighborhood liquor store, not a specialty wine store, so that I would be reviewing something that my readers might actually be able to find themselves.

Sight: a beautiful, deep ruby color – very opaque.

Nose: jammy fruit, blackberry and strawberry

Taste: a smooth burst of strawberry with the first sip! The second sip was again very strawberry; sweet but dry

Since I was starving and had fixed Goofy Junior a grilled cheese, the first pairing was with Grilled Cheese (this blog is just OOZING with culture, yes?). The wine went well with the cheese, although some berrylicious flavor was drowned out because of the fried-ness of the sandwich. Probably not the best pairing! India Pale Ale would be a better choice.

For the OFFICIAL pairing, I matched this wine with:
-A Big-Ass Steak*
-Wild Mushroom Risotto**
-Garlic Naan**

This wine stood up nicely to the steak. I typically pair a Cabernet Sauvignon or a Zinfandel with steak, but this Petite Sirah definitely held its own against a lot of strong bovine goodness.

Overall this wine was super-duper drinkable, with or without food. It got dryer the more I drank - which was two glasses before dinner was served. Ahem.

Mr. Goofy's 2 Cents…
Mr. G. didn’t get much of a nose from the wine, but thought the taste was “smoky” and he tasted “anise” (that black licorice flavor). He guessed a price point of $12 – 14. (actual retail price was….$11.99, so he was spot on). He liked the slight “tannicity” (a word that he created to reflect the tannin content of the wine).

Close Your Eyes and Imagine: Having a bite of strawberry shortcake while smelling a fine cigar being smoked nearby.

Final Bottle Status: Empty! 9 out of 10 taste buds. This was a very nice wine that I will definitely buy again.

*For picture purposes we put the whole steak, in all its big-assedness on one plate, but in reality, we split it.

**Archer Farms brand (from Target). I must confess... They make great store brand stuff and we had just visited Target that afternoon.

Adoption Update!

As some of you may know (some not), we have our paperwork in for a second adoption from Russia . We have been waiting for quite some time now, as Russia is reaccrediting all the adoption agencies that facilitate Russian adoptions (about 150 agencies). Recently, there has been some progress on this and a few agencies have been given the accreditation. Unfortunately, our agency has not yet been given the green light.

Our agency knows we have been waiting and approached us with another option. We could pursue an "independent adoption". We would work with our agency here, but when we get to the region in Russia , we would work with a contractor. Since independent adoptions are still okay in Russia , we could make both trips and be back with our son, possibly even before our agency gets accredited.

Our agency approached us with this "independent adoption" option for a particular region that is new to them. We had originally requested to travel to the same region as we did with Alex ( Kaliningrad ). The new region actually has a child awaiting adoption, although we have very few facts about this child. We do know that they have asked us to be open to an older child (up to 3 years old). We had originally requested a younger child (18 months or less), so this was something we really had to stop and consider. The challenge with an older child is that if they've been in the orphanage for a long time, they are more likely to have developmental and psychological delays. Also, a 3-year-old will have some Russian language, so we would have to dust off our Russian language books and get cracking!

In the end, we agreed to this new approach. Alex will be 5 in April (they really do grow up so fast!), so a 3-year-old will still be a little brother for him. The new region looks interesting and is really quite bustling, compared to Kaliningrad .

Travel to this region will be a true adventure. From talking to a family that recently went there, it went like this: Fly to Moscow (11 hours); Rest in hotel (4 hours); Travel by overnight train to new region (13 hours); Freshen-up time (20 minutes); Travel by car to orphanage (3 hours). Talk about planes, trains and automobiles! In the 6 days that this family was in Russia , they only stayed hotels for 2 nights.

We have submitted our paperwork for this region. There is a strong possibility that we could end up traveling in December. And (silly us!) we thought we might get to experience spring or summer in Russia this time, instead of winter again.

We will update everyone when we get the call to travel. Until then, send some good thoughts our way as we embark on our journey into a new part of the world, for a new adventure, for the newest addition to our family.

A Little Perspective - Just in Time for the Holidays

My department at work volunteered yesterday at the Johnson County Christmas Bureau. The JCCB is a very cool place where low-income folks can go to get food, clothing and gifts for the holiday season. It's surprisingly well-stocked (although they could use more coats) and very well-attended.

My job was to walk around with a shopper to inform them about each department and how many items they could have from each. This was based on family size.

My first shopper was pretty uneventful. She went through each section and made her choices, taking about 45 minutes, then thanked me at the end.

My second shopper was a nice, middle-aged, heavy-set lady in a wheelchair. As we started shopping, she informed me that it was so great that they had allowed her to shop for her adult children, since this was her last Christmas. When I looked confused about what she meant, her face (and tear-filled eyes) said it all. Her LAST Christmas. As in, she will NOT BE AROUND next year.

Gulp.

I quickly recovered and told her, "Well then we are going to make this a great shopping trip for you!". We took our time perusing can labels and boxes of food. She told me that she was diabetic and has had many, many surgeries, so diet was pretty critical. We took our time picking clothes - checking sizes and colors. She spent a long time selecting shampoo and soap. When we got to the adult gifts, she found a tray table and got very excited. She said that she eats a lot of her meals in bed and this was just what she needed. I think she actually clapped with joy...over a tray table.

After two hours of shopping (she really did have a great time), she gave me a big hug (again with the tear-filled eyes) and told me what a blessing it was to have been invited to come shopping - that this had made her holidays special.

I walked away with a new perspective on things. I know I SHOULD be thankful for all that I have. I know that I SHOULD be thankful for my health and well-being. I know that I SHOULD be thankful for a support system of family and friends that I could turn to if needed.

And now I AM thankful. And this, dear readers, is what I think the holidays are really about.

'Tis the Season...

for shopping frustration.

Every year my nieces plot to stump me in my Christmas buying plans for them.

Well, okay, they probably don't actually PLOT to stump me, but it's typically challenging to find the items on their list. But..it's a fun challenge. And I usually succeed. *

Ahem. Except for this year. Not one, but BOTH nieces have "must have"s on their list that must be on every friggin' teenager's list, because they are either NOWHERE TO BE FOUND or WAY TOO EXPENSIVE.

Exhibit A: Cute horse tote. It's cute, no? But ah-ha! It's pink. She does not want pink. ARG..PINK! NO PINK! NO. BAD. PINK, BAD!!! Must have BLUE. There is one place where I find BLUE. eBay. Which should be good, but it's not, because the blue is RARE (read: EXPENSIVE). This little cotton tote in BLUE is 61 bucks. Love ya sweetie, but suck it up, yer gettin' PINK.

Exhibit B: Scene It? Pirates of the Caribbean Game. I like the "Pirates" movies, but really don't see the need to memorize enough to play a trivia game with that knowlege. But, silly me..I'm in the minority on this because THIS GAME IS SOLD OUT EVERYWHERE! I should have known when I found it right away, for a reasonable $29.99, with free shipping. Just WTF does "Temporarily Not Available Online" mean? Should I check the stores? Of course, I cannot check store inventory online.** My good ole faithful (EBAY) has the game, for a mere $54 + $9 shipping. Gah! I'm stalking eBay like a fiend for this game, but niece #2 might have to settle for the Jack Sparrow action figure. No wait...I want that.

Whatever happened to Barbies? Oh yeah, this happened.


*eBay usually saves my ass every year. Love ya eBay, my sweet!

** When will stores figure out that we DO NOT want to set foot in them from 11/23 - 1/1?! We want to sit at home with our hot cocoa and shop at midnight from our laptop. Duh. First one to figure this out WINS.

Quit Talking 'Bout Yourself!

Well, maybe just one more time. Thanks to Cagey, here's more about my fav subject: ME!


8 passions in my life:

1. Mr. Goofy


2. Goofy Junior


3. Reading


4. Dancing


5. Experiencing New Things


6. Helping Others experience/learn new things


7. Competition


8. Food

8 things to do before I die:

1. Drive a Nascar


2. Hang-glide


3. Travel to New Zealand


4. Get a pedicure


5. Travel to Mount Everest Basecamp (Cagey- let's go!)


6. Visit the Pyramids


7. Own a motorcycle (or at least a 50-mph scooter)


8. Drink wine in Tuscany

8 things I often say:

1. Okey-doke


2. NO!


3. You've got to be kidding!


4. Holy Moley!


5. Darn it! (Have had to tame down my potty mouth)


6. Wine?


7. Dessert?


8. Hey!

8 books I read recently:

1. The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans


2. Blaze by Stephen King


3. The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss


4. Microtrends by Mark J. Penn


5. Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity: GET OUT THE SHOVEL -- WHY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG by John Stossel


6. Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen (for a book club)


7. The five dysfunctions of a team: [a leadership fable] by Lencioni, Patrick


8. The Hummer and the Mini: Navigating the Contradictions of the New Trend Landscape by Robyn Waters

8 songs that mean something to me:

1. "Rosanna" by Toto (song that was playing when I met Mr. Goofy 25 years ago - yikes!)
2. "Release Me" by Pearl Jam (makes me shiver)
3. "Every Step of the Way" by Steve Walsh
4. "Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog
5. "4 out of 5" by Soul Coughing
6. "She's a Rebel" by Green Day
7. "Dancing by Myself" by Bill Idol
8. "Jaded" by Green Day

Lazy or Smart? You Decide.

Option 1 - Homemade Thanksgiving dinner for the Goofy household (plus in-laws):

$20 Turkey
$ 5 Ingredients for Cornbread Stuffing
$ 6 Potatoes for Mashing
$ 5 Ingredients for Green Bean Casserole
$ 5 Dinner Rolls
$ 7 Ingredients for Pumpkin Pie
$ 7 Ingredients for Apple Pie
$ 10 Miscellaneous: Butter, Cranberry, Cool Whip, Gravy, etc.

NOTE: This does NOT include the TIME spent thawing, preparing, mixing, stuffing, buttering, cooking, baking, slicing, whipping and....cleaning up. Groan.

Option 2 - Go out for Thanksgiving dinner to a Restaurant that:
- won the Best Overall Restaurant in KC in 2006
- is located on the Country Club Plaza, which is famous for turning on their obscenely huge array of Christmas Lights on Thanksgiving night
- serves the full-blown traditional turkey dinner (including dessert), all-you-can-eat, for $20 per person
- did I mention that kids eat free?
- or that Goofy Junior LOVES Christmas Lights?

This year we are choosing Option 2*. We have reservations at 6:30pm. The Plaza Lights go on at 6:45pm.

No cooking, no cleaning - just eating, drinking and getting in the merry spirit of the holidays.

So...Lazy or Smart?

I say BOTH.

*My mom-in-law's quote was "Boy, we are getting smarter in our old age, aren't we?" so I think she's down with it.

One Laptop Per Child

Goofy is taking a moment from her regularly-scheduled goofiness for this public-service announcement.

Heard of the One Laptop Per Child initiative? (if not, check out the link in that last sentence, 'cause I can't do it justice) Coming up this Monday, November 12th, there is a special promotion called "Give One Get One". This is pure marketing genius, IMHO.

Donate $399 to give the gift of education (via a laptop sent to a child in a developing country) and also get a laptop for your child. Two laptops for 400 bucks!?!? That's a good deal in my book.

AND...
You get to feel good that you did something for a child you don't know AND you get to feel good that you did something for a child you do know. That's pure double-delicious coolness in my book.

And the laptops are space-age super-cool looking. They are mostly bright green with two antennae poking up from the monitor like ears. They even have a handle. Why doesn't my laptop have a handle? Oh yeah, then the laptop bag makers wouldn't have anything to sell me.

More Needles, Please

I'm shocked. I'm not normally shocked by much. But I'm shocked.

I came home last night from working all day, playing Craps at the casino, and sitting down to a nice dinner (it was Mr. Goofy's bday). I grabbed our dog Murphy to take her for a short walk before going to bed.

I was about 3 minutes down the street when I realized...I don't feel any pain. This is HUGE. As most of you know (from all my bitchin' in this here blog), I have been having chronic lower back pain (left side if you're keeping score at home), ever since we adopted our son*...going on 2 1/2 years now.

I almost stopped and sat down, just to keep from ruining the feeling. But I kept walking. Down the street. No pain. No back pain. No hip pain. No groin pain. (yep the whole kit n' kaboodle on the left side hurts normally). All the way down the block and back. I almost screamed for joy.

The only thing I've been doing differently is the acupuncture. And I've only been twice. And I haven't been since last Saturday.

So, dear readers, it seems that my meridian was INDEED blocked. Damn meridian. And the needles are INDEED un-blocking them. Love those needles! Rather quickly, I might add.

It's early to get too excited. I did have some pain and stiffness this morning. But much less than normal. But I'm optimistic. Crazy as it might sound, eastern medicine might just be onto something. At least for me.

Stay tuned. I might be leaping tall buildings again soon. Whee!

*He's not a chubby child, it's just that I didn't have the normal 9-month 'ramp-up' time to get my body used to carrying that weight in front of me. No training whatsoever, then deadlifting 17+ pounds of wiggly child twelve+ times a day will do a number on your back, my friends.

Need Help with Veggies!

I need some good Halloween food ideas. Alex's class is having a party next week and we signed up to bring veggies. Well, veggies are BORING.

How can I Halloween-ize some veggies to make them fun for a 4-year-old party?

I thought about carving baby carrots into tiny pumpkins and well, that's just ridiculous. I thought about modifying Cagey's Ghosts in the Graveyard dessert for veggies, but what would the 'dirt' be? You don't really dip veggies into anything brown, typically. EW.

Who's got a good creative idea that I can try? With limited time commitment please!

A Gift to You!

As some of you know, I've been brainstorming to determine what my Next Big Thing should be. This will probably, but not necessarily, be a startup business.

I've got a notebook that I keep with me 24/7 and when I think of something promising ("just feed the tuna fish mayonaise"*) I write it down. I've gotten quite a few wacky ideas, but nothing really promising yet.

However, I recently came up with a pretty interesting idea that I think could actually work. But it's just not an idea that I would like to do. You know how you're supposed to have that passion for your business? Well, this idea gives me no passion. But it might work for someone else, so I'm sharing it.

Here it is: (please forgive the long-windedness as I describe how I got to the idea)
You know those Build-a-Bear stores in the mall, where you go in and pick the bear body, pick the stuffing, pick add-ons like collars and nametags, pick a name, and then they put the damn thing together for you? And pay an average of $32 for the privilege? This company makes a cool $318.1 million in revenue** for providing the materials for customers to come in and basically make their own stuffed animals.

There's also Papa Murphy's Pizza, which follows the same general idea, but they provide all the fresh ingredients for you to create your own pizza, which you then take home and "finish" (by baking). Hey, I just made my family a home-made pizza. Yeah, sure you did. But I'll bet you felt better bringing that home than a cold-by-the-time-it-hits-the-dinner-table Pizza Hut pizza!

Part of the attraction of these two businesses is that, when you go there, you are "doing it yourself" - it's "homemade", so it must be better, right? You can also personalize the products, so you walk away with the exact thing you are looking for, and don't have to settle for whatever was in stock.

Then there is the trend towards Old Fashioned Hobbies. I've noticed this trend over the past few years. I've never known so many women who sew and knit! ***

So how about a store where you could go to make your own, custom-made, high-quality kids' clothes? There would be some pre-made parts (think Build-a-Bear here), like sleeves, collars and bodices. And you could combine colors, fabrics, etc. to make your own creation. Want a blue dress with a lace collar, gold trim and puffy sleeves? Done. How about a green shirt with long sleeves, cute buttons and a satin collar? Done.

This would be different than going to a fabric store, just like buying a Papa Murphy's Pizza is different than making a pizza from scratch - the product is already "half-made" rather than requiring "totally from scratch" work (and time).

I think this idea would work best for baby/toddler/kindergartener clothes, just to limit the sizes that you'd have to carry in inventory.

Stealing from the Bear stores and the Social Suppers-type stores, you could hold parties with friends to make clothes for your kids.

I'll bet you could charge $30-40 for a custom-made dress that the customer "made themselves". This wouldn't be a discount play, this would be a customized product play, and I think folks would dig it.

Disclaimer: I have totally not checked to see if anyone is doing this business already. Not that this would stop someone else from doing...I'm just sayin'...

So, there you go. Someone go do this idea and make a bunch of money. Then buy me lunch. I love lunch. :-)

* quote totally stolen from the movie, Night Shift, 1982

** I'd totally be happy with the .1 by itself!

*** This trend totally missed me...I'm lucky to get a button back on when they fall off!

A Sticky Situation

How would you like a needle in your blocked meridian?

Yes, please!

After almost three years of lower back pain, I've decided to give up on western medicine and turn to eastern medicine. Acupuncture in particular.

I have avoided this until now because I'm a little freaked out by it. Overall, I'm very open-minded. I'll try anything once. But when it came to long needles being shoved into my bod, my mind closed. Just a bit. But just for a little while.

I finally got to the breaking point since my latest (and best) chiropractor is leaving for Colorado to start a practice with his wife. Bastard for leaving. Bastard for leaving for Colorado. I met his replacement this week and I'm just not sure how long I'll be seeing him.

Anyway, I went for acupuncture last Friday. I got two good referrals and chose the one that was obviously a Chinese woman (from her name and accent on the phone) and the fact that she had been a doctor in China. I figured she's probably smarter than the average bear, so I gave her a try.

Our consultation began with the typical forms. Where does it hurt? What else is wrong with you? How long? Family history? Mark on the stick man where your pain is. Blah, blah, blah.

Then it diverged. We talked about my pain history and somehow got on the topic of bowel movements. Lots of details were required. Lots of questions: size, shape, frequency, consistency. TMI for this post, thankfully. Then she got out a little blue satin pillow and had me rest my wrists on it, one at a time, underside-up. She made motions like she was taking my pulse, but she poked and prodded a bit more than was was needed for a simple pulse.

After this, she told me she understood my "health condition". It seems that I have a blocked meridian right where the pain is. I also have a weak spleen and a weak liver. (oops, too many margaritas!) Acupuncture could help me. I am to go through 5 treatments and take Chinese herbs. Was I up for this? Er, sure. Why not?

I changed into the obligatory Velcro-in-back hospital gown and rested face-down on a padded table. She rubbed alcohol on seemingly random spots from my mid-back to my ankle, about seven in total. Then the needles. EEK! The needles. Yoga breath...yoga breath...WHERE IS MY YOGA BREATH? Ah...there it is. But, I really didn't need it. I only felt ONE needle. Of course, it was the one that went into where my pain is located - left-side, lower back.

Then she gave me a walkie-talkie (in case I decided to freak out) and left for 20 minutes.

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows what I did next. What did I do? Do you know?

Of course. I looked. Which is not easy to do when you are face-down and the needles on in your backside. I looked and I saw....

TINY! They were TINY! Maybe 2 inches long! For some reason, I was expecting sharp, foot-long, metal needles, waving in the breeze from my poor, tender leg-flesh. But these looked, well, just silly. They weren't even metal, they were white plastic. They looked like those plastic toothpicks that you can buy at Walgreen's. Hell, maybe they were.

Assured that I wasn't too much of a shish-kabob, I settled in a fell fast asleep. Hey, you put me face-down, I fall sleep.

I woke up when she came back. She took them out, pop, pop, pop, and helped me up. I got my herbs* and headed out.

So how do I feel? I feel the same. But I'll try a few more times before I give up. I'm goofy that way.

*Obviously, the mix of herbs was an "ancient Chinese secret". I asked her several times and all she would say is that it was special mix, made especially for me, of 12 different herbs. All legal, darn it.