'Tis the Season...

for shopping frustration.

Every year my nieces plot to stump me in my Christmas buying plans for them.

Well, okay, they probably don't actually PLOT to stump me, but it's typically challenging to find the items on their list. But..it's a fun challenge. And I usually succeed. *

Ahem. Except for this year. Not one, but BOTH nieces have "must have"s on their list that must be on every friggin' teenager's list, because they are either NOWHERE TO BE FOUND or WAY TOO EXPENSIVE.

Exhibit A: Cute horse tote. It's cute, no? But ah-ha! It's pink. She does not want pink. ARG..PINK! NO PINK! NO. BAD. PINK, BAD!!! Must have BLUE. There is one place where I find BLUE. eBay. Which should be good, but it's not, because the blue is RARE (read: EXPENSIVE). This little cotton tote in BLUE is 61 bucks. Love ya sweetie, but suck it up, yer gettin' PINK.

Exhibit B: Scene It? Pirates of the Caribbean Game. I like the "Pirates" movies, but really don't see the need to memorize enough to play a trivia game with that knowlege. But, silly me..I'm in the minority on this because THIS GAME IS SOLD OUT EVERYWHERE! I should have known when I found it right away, for a reasonable $29.99, with free shipping. Just WTF does "Temporarily Not Available Online" mean? Should I check the stores? Of course, I cannot check store inventory online.** My good ole faithful (EBAY) has the game, for a mere $54 + $9 shipping. Gah! I'm stalking eBay like a fiend for this game, but niece #2 might have to settle for the Jack Sparrow action figure. No wait...I want that.

Whatever happened to Barbies? Oh yeah, this happened.


*eBay usually saves my ass every year. Love ya eBay, my sweet!

** When will stores figure out that we DO NOT want to set foot in them from 11/23 - 1/1?! We want to sit at home with our hot cocoa and shop at midnight from our laptop. Duh. First one to figure this out WINS.

Quit Talking 'Bout Yourself!

Well, maybe just one more time. Thanks to Cagey, here's more about my fav subject: ME!


8 passions in my life:

1. Mr. Goofy


2. Goofy Junior


3. Reading


4. Dancing


5. Experiencing New Things


6. Helping Others experience/learn new things


7. Competition


8. Food

8 things to do before I die:

1. Drive a Nascar


2. Hang-glide


3. Travel to New Zealand


4. Get a pedicure


5. Travel to Mount Everest Basecamp (Cagey- let's go!)


6. Visit the Pyramids


7. Own a motorcycle (or at least a 50-mph scooter)


8. Drink wine in Tuscany

8 things I often say:

1. Okey-doke


2. NO!


3. You've got to be kidding!


4. Holy Moley!


5. Darn it! (Have had to tame down my potty mouth)


6. Wine?


7. Dessert?


8. Hey!

8 books I read recently:

1. The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans


2. Blaze by Stephen King


3. The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss


4. Microtrends by Mark J. Penn


5. Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity: GET OUT THE SHOVEL -- WHY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG by John Stossel


6. Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen (for a book club)


7. The five dysfunctions of a team: [a leadership fable] by Lencioni, Patrick


8. The Hummer and the Mini: Navigating the Contradictions of the New Trend Landscape by Robyn Waters

8 songs that mean something to me:

1. "Rosanna" by Toto (song that was playing when I met Mr. Goofy 25 years ago - yikes!)
2. "Release Me" by Pearl Jam (makes me shiver)
3. "Every Step of the Way" by Steve Walsh
4. "Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog
5. "4 out of 5" by Soul Coughing
6. "She's a Rebel" by Green Day
7. "Dancing by Myself" by Bill Idol
8. "Jaded" by Green Day

Lazy or Smart? You Decide.

Option 1 - Homemade Thanksgiving dinner for the Goofy household (plus in-laws):

$20 Turkey
$ 5 Ingredients for Cornbread Stuffing
$ 6 Potatoes for Mashing
$ 5 Ingredients for Green Bean Casserole
$ 5 Dinner Rolls
$ 7 Ingredients for Pumpkin Pie
$ 7 Ingredients for Apple Pie
$ 10 Miscellaneous: Butter, Cranberry, Cool Whip, Gravy, etc.

NOTE: This does NOT include the TIME spent thawing, preparing, mixing, stuffing, buttering, cooking, baking, slicing, whipping and....cleaning up. Groan.

Option 2 - Go out for Thanksgiving dinner to a Restaurant that:
- won the Best Overall Restaurant in KC in 2006
- is located on the Country Club Plaza, which is famous for turning on their obscenely huge array of Christmas Lights on Thanksgiving night
- serves the full-blown traditional turkey dinner (including dessert), all-you-can-eat, for $20 per person
- did I mention that kids eat free?
- or that Goofy Junior LOVES Christmas Lights?

This year we are choosing Option 2*. We have reservations at 6:30pm. The Plaza Lights go on at 6:45pm.

No cooking, no cleaning - just eating, drinking and getting in the merry spirit of the holidays.

So...Lazy or Smart?

I say BOTH.

*My mom-in-law's quote was "Boy, we are getting smarter in our old age, aren't we?" so I think she's down with it.

One Laptop Per Child

Goofy is taking a moment from her regularly-scheduled goofiness for this public-service announcement.

Heard of the One Laptop Per Child initiative? (if not, check out the link in that last sentence, 'cause I can't do it justice) Coming up this Monday, November 12th, there is a special promotion called "Give One Get One". This is pure marketing genius, IMHO.

Donate $399 to give the gift of education (via a laptop sent to a child in a developing country) and also get a laptop for your child. Two laptops for 400 bucks!?!? That's a good deal in my book.

AND...
You get to feel good that you did something for a child you don't know AND you get to feel good that you did something for a child you do know. That's pure double-delicious coolness in my book.

And the laptops are space-age super-cool looking. They are mostly bright green with two antennae poking up from the monitor like ears. They even have a handle. Why doesn't my laptop have a handle? Oh yeah, then the laptop bag makers wouldn't have anything to sell me.

More Needles, Please

I'm shocked. I'm not normally shocked by much. But I'm shocked.

I came home last night from working all day, playing Craps at the casino, and sitting down to a nice dinner (it was Mr. Goofy's bday). I grabbed our dog Murphy to take her for a short walk before going to bed.

I was about 3 minutes down the street when I realized...I don't feel any pain. This is HUGE. As most of you know (from all my bitchin' in this here blog), I have been having chronic lower back pain (left side if you're keeping score at home), ever since we adopted our son*...going on 2 1/2 years now.

I almost stopped and sat down, just to keep from ruining the feeling. But I kept walking. Down the street. No pain. No back pain. No hip pain. No groin pain. (yep the whole kit n' kaboodle on the left side hurts normally). All the way down the block and back. I almost screamed for joy.

The only thing I've been doing differently is the acupuncture. And I've only been twice. And I haven't been since last Saturday.

So, dear readers, it seems that my meridian was INDEED blocked. Damn meridian. And the needles are INDEED un-blocking them. Love those needles! Rather quickly, I might add.

It's early to get too excited. I did have some pain and stiffness this morning. But much less than normal. But I'm optimistic. Crazy as it might sound, eastern medicine might just be onto something. At least for me.

Stay tuned. I might be leaping tall buildings again soon. Whee!

*He's not a chubby child, it's just that I didn't have the normal 9-month 'ramp-up' time to get my body used to carrying that weight in front of me. No training whatsoever, then deadlifting 17+ pounds of wiggly child twelve+ times a day will do a number on your back, my friends.

Need Help with Veggies!

I need some good Halloween food ideas. Alex's class is having a party next week and we signed up to bring veggies. Well, veggies are BORING.

How can I Halloween-ize some veggies to make them fun for a 4-year-old party?

I thought about carving baby carrots into tiny pumpkins and well, that's just ridiculous. I thought about modifying Cagey's Ghosts in the Graveyard dessert for veggies, but what would the 'dirt' be? You don't really dip veggies into anything brown, typically. EW.

Who's got a good creative idea that I can try? With limited time commitment please!

A Gift to You!

As some of you know, I've been brainstorming to determine what my Next Big Thing should be. This will probably, but not necessarily, be a startup business.

I've got a notebook that I keep with me 24/7 and when I think of something promising ("just feed the tuna fish mayonaise"*) I write it down. I've gotten quite a few wacky ideas, but nothing really promising yet.

However, I recently came up with a pretty interesting idea that I think could actually work. But it's just not an idea that I would like to do. You know how you're supposed to have that passion for your business? Well, this idea gives me no passion. But it might work for someone else, so I'm sharing it.

Here it is: (please forgive the long-windedness as I describe how I got to the idea)
You know those Build-a-Bear stores in the mall, where you go in and pick the bear body, pick the stuffing, pick add-ons like collars and nametags, pick a name, and then they put the damn thing together for you? And pay an average of $32 for the privilege? This company makes a cool $318.1 million in revenue** for providing the materials for customers to come in and basically make their own stuffed animals.

There's also Papa Murphy's Pizza, which follows the same general idea, but they provide all the fresh ingredients for you to create your own pizza, which you then take home and "finish" (by baking). Hey, I just made my family a home-made pizza. Yeah, sure you did. But I'll bet you felt better bringing that home than a cold-by-the-time-it-hits-the-dinner-table Pizza Hut pizza!

Part of the attraction of these two businesses is that, when you go there, you are "doing it yourself" - it's "homemade", so it must be better, right? You can also personalize the products, so you walk away with the exact thing you are looking for, and don't have to settle for whatever was in stock.

Then there is the trend towards Old Fashioned Hobbies. I've noticed this trend over the past few years. I've never known so many women who sew and knit! ***

So how about a store where you could go to make your own, custom-made, high-quality kids' clothes? There would be some pre-made parts (think Build-a-Bear here), like sleeves, collars and bodices. And you could combine colors, fabrics, etc. to make your own creation. Want a blue dress with a lace collar, gold trim and puffy sleeves? Done. How about a green shirt with long sleeves, cute buttons and a satin collar? Done.

This would be different than going to a fabric store, just like buying a Papa Murphy's Pizza is different than making a pizza from scratch - the product is already "half-made" rather than requiring "totally from scratch" work (and time).

I think this idea would work best for baby/toddler/kindergartener clothes, just to limit the sizes that you'd have to carry in inventory.

Stealing from the Bear stores and the Social Suppers-type stores, you could hold parties with friends to make clothes for your kids.

I'll bet you could charge $30-40 for a custom-made dress that the customer "made themselves". This wouldn't be a discount play, this would be a customized product play, and I think folks would dig it.

Disclaimer: I have totally not checked to see if anyone is doing this business already. Not that this would stop someone else from doing...I'm just sayin'...

So, there you go. Someone go do this idea and make a bunch of money. Then buy me lunch. I love lunch. :-)

* quote totally stolen from the movie, Night Shift, 1982

** I'd totally be happy with the .1 by itself!

*** This trend totally missed me...I'm lucky to get a button back on when they fall off!

A Sticky Situation

How would you like a needle in your blocked meridian?

Yes, please!

After almost three years of lower back pain, I've decided to give up on western medicine and turn to eastern medicine. Acupuncture in particular.

I have avoided this until now because I'm a little freaked out by it. Overall, I'm very open-minded. I'll try anything once. But when it came to long needles being shoved into my bod, my mind closed. Just a bit. But just for a little while.

I finally got to the breaking point since my latest (and best) chiropractor is leaving for Colorado to start a practice with his wife. Bastard for leaving. Bastard for leaving for Colorado. I met his replacement this week and I'm just not sure how long I'll be seeing him.

Anyway, I went for acupuncture last Friday. I got two good referrals and chose the one that was obviously a Chinese woman (from her name and accent on the phone) and the fact that she had been a doctor in China. I figured she's probably smarter than the average bear, so I gave her a try.

Our consultation began with the typical forms. Where does it hurt? What else is wrong with you? How long? Family history? Mark on the stick man where your pain is. Blah, blah, blah.

Then it diverged. We talked about my pain history and somehow got on the topic of bowel movements. Lots of details were required. Lots of questions: size, shape, frequency, consistency. TMI for this post, thankfully. Then she got out a little blue satin pillow and had me rest my wrists on it, one at a time, underside-up. She made motions like she was taking my pulse, but she poked and prodded a bit more than was was needed for a simple pulse.

After this, she told me she understood my "health condition". It seems that I have a blocked meridian right where the pain is. I also have a weak spleen and a weak liver. (oops, too many margaritas!) Acupuncture could help me. I am to go through 5 treatments and take Chinese herbs. Was I up for this? Er, sure. Why not?

I changed into the obligatory Velcro-in-back hospital gown and rested face-down on a padded table. She rubbed alcohol on seemingly random spots from my mid-back to my ankle, about seven in total. Then the needles. EEK! The needles. Yoga breath...yoga breath...WHERE IS MY YOGA BREATH? Ah...there it is. But, I really didn't need it. I only felt ONE needle. Of course, it was the one that went into where my pain is located - left-side, lower back.

Then she gave me a walkie-talkie (in case I decided to freak out) and left for 20 minutes.

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows what I did next. What did I do? Do you know?

Of course. I looked. Which is not easy to do when you are face-down and the needles on in your backside. I looked and I saw....

TINY! They were TINY! Maybe 2 inches long! For some reason, I was expecting sharp, foot-long, metal needles, waving in the breeze from my poor, tender leg-flesh. But these looked, well, just silly. They weren't even metal, they were white plastic. They looked like those plastic toothpicks that you can buy at Walgreen's. Hell, maybe they were.

Assured that I wasn't too much of a shish-kabob, I settled in a fell fast asleep. Hey, you put me face-down, I fall sleep.

I woke up when she came back. She took them out, pop, pop, pop, and helped me up. I got my herbs* and headed out.

So how do I feel? I feel the same. But I'll try a few more times before I give up. I'm goofy that way.

*Obviously, the mix of herbs was an "ancient Chinese secret". I asked her several times and all she would say is that it was special mix, made especially for me, of 12 different herbs. All legal, darn it.

Mattress Shopping - A Decision is Made!

After going through Mattress Hell, it took us a while to venture back into anything remotely resembling a mattress store. Well, all of three days.

We went to that mecca of all things homely, er, I mean, home-y: Nebraska Furniture Mart (imagine a booming echo while saying those 3 words)

We had done some research on the Tempur-Pedic beds, and wanted to check one of those out. FYI - it's really, really hard to determine the differences between mattresses on the web. They are just one of those things you have to go SEE. And I wasn't sure if I would like the memory foam stuff - that seemed kind of hot and weird to me.

Anyway, I had a few of the "lower" priced Tempur-Pedic (TP) beds marked to check out. Please notice the quotes around "lower"...these beds range from $1500 - $7000. Yowsa!

We first practice-slept on some 'regular' beds, in order to get a baseline. Control freak much? Yeah, I know. Shut up.

Then we got onto a lower-end TP bed. Hmmm....not so bad. They actually feel like a waterbed filled with gel.

The salesdude walked over to check on us. We shooed him away. Not ready yet.

Then we tried the middle-range bed (the "Rhapsody" if you're keeping score at home). Wow. Yes, I think we actually said, "Wow". It felt good. Firm, but not rigid. Soft but not smooshy.

Again, I'm channelling that Goldilocks vibe here...

Salesdude was back. Said lots of great things about the bed. We asked some questions. He gave some answers.

We actually liked the TP pillows too. Uh-oh...my mind started tallying up the prices. The pillows are a hefty $100+ each! But my back told my mind to shut the f&*#% up.

It could be delivered the next day. The next day was Friday. I was off and would be at home. There was no excuse not to, so we bought the bed.

Ka-ching! Let's just say we could have bought about 3 'regular' beds with the money we spent.
Yeah, Dave Ramsey would be horrified. Whatever.

A couple notes about these types of beds:
1. When you get them home, the memory foam stuff gives off a chemical odor for about 3 days. Opening the windows and turning on a fan helps. It's not super bad, but it was a very weird smell. The salesdude warned us, luckily, or we might have freaked.

2. You have to "break-in" the mattress. Minds out of the gutter, please! Ahem. We had to get on the bed and walk around on it. Both of us. To music. Okay, that last part we improvised. And we had Alex walk on our pillows to break them in. That was Big Fun and he slept like a babe after all that exercise.

2a. If you get the pillows, you need to break them in to. We totally spaced this and had sore necks the first morning, because the pillows were like rocks. After break-in, they are much better.

3. You have to "break-in" your body to the mattress. I am used to tossing and turning all night long. With this mattress, you don't really need to do that. It's actually HARDER to toss and turn, since it's like the gel water bed. This took us about a week to get used to - and I'll be honest, we had some hard nights.

4. If you sleep "hot", you won't need a comforter anymore. I never thought I "slept hot", but after waking up feeling like I had a heating pad under me, I realized that I was cooking myself. The memory foam is denser than typical fabric, and you lay in place longer. Thus...burnt ends.

5. You will absolutely NOT KNOW if your sleeping partner gets up out of bed. This bed doesn't even flince when someone moves on it. I believe this is a good thing.

6. I AM a bit horrified at how much we spent, but you sleep 6-8 hours a day. About a third or fourth of your day is spent in bed, so why not be comfortable?

Sweet Dreams! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Goofy's Must-See TV

Look out, she's got a DVR! She's got the remote and she's willing to use it. No one move!

I've been happily recording and watching some of the fall premieres for the past two weeks. Here's what I like (and don't like so much):

Reaper - LOVE it. The dry, goofy humor DOES remind me of Buffy, as some critics have noted (a moment of silence for the Slayer, please). The main character is a perfect mix of goofy cuteness mixed with just outright dork. And his sidekick is Jack Black's twin. And the scary versus silly mix is just right.
DVR Status: DVR-Worthy!

Bionic Woman - Liked the first ep a LOT. I'm a closet Battlestar Galactica fan, so the fact that Starbuck is in this series was a pleasant surprise. I like the way they've 'spun' the story a little bit differently than the original. And I really like the actress that plays Jamie - she's very good.
DVR Status: DVR Worthy for now...will decide after next ep.

Chuck - I really WANTED to like Chuck, but I didn't so much. It wasn't nearly as funny as Reaper, and quite frankly I keep confusing the two. Both main characters work in a 'big box' store (a Best Buy-type store versus a Home Depot-type store), they both have sidekicks and they both have love interests way cuter than they would have in real life. Plus they both have new "roles" that they don't want (Reaper - working for the devil; Chuck - working for the CIA).
DVR Status: It's touch and go. This one may go bye-bye after this week.

Moonlight - ERROR! I recorded this last Friday and fired it up over the weekend to watch. I ended up with the end of a college football game instead. RATS!
DVR Status: Error. Will try again.

Journeyman - Caught this show tonight. Really, really liked it. I read that you have to have more than an 8th grade education to understand the show. This is true. And it's well worth having to pay close attention. Lots of potential for this show, if they don't get Quantum-Leap-goofy on us.
DVR status: This wasn't on my original list of shows to DVR, but it's been added!

Kitchen Nightmares - I saw the BBC version of this show and really liked it. But I haven't had the excitement to watch the American version. I might not have time. The BBC version was good, but I ended up feeling sorry for the restaurant owners as Gil cussed and berated them. He's definitely got the 'tough love' thing going on.
DVR Status: In danger of being deleted.

Dancing with the Stars - Okay, so it's not technically a premiere, since it's been on a few times before, but it's a guilty pleasure and I'm watching it. The must-see dancers are: The Cheetah Girl (sorry, don't know her name, nor what a 'cheetah girl' is, but she's damn fun to watch), and Helio, the racecard driver (goofy, but hot in a goofy way - excellent dancer!). Wayne Newton was a BIG disappointment - it's like watching your grandfather dance. Badly.
DVR status: This is a keeper.

Survivor: China - Again, not technically a premiere, but I've been a Survivor fan from the beginning and this season (two eps now) has got me hooked. Mark Burnett continues to change this show up each season so that it's still exciting and interesting to watch. This season has a host of very unique personalities.
DVR Status: It's there until the finale.

Is there anything I'm missing that I must see? Please don't recommend sitcoms or any show with a laugh-track. I just can't stomach those anymore.

Mattress Shopping = Visit to Hell

We need a new mattress. Our first clue to this was the two, large, body-sized divots that are worn in our mattress where Mr. Goofy and I sleep. We don't quite roll into each other in the middle when we get into bed, but that day is coming soon.

Add to this the need to greet sleepover guest with more than an air mattress and pump and the need for an upgrade is obvious.

First I did some Internet research. I was curious about the Sleep Number bed, mainly because I would prefer to sleep on a rock, while Mr. Goofy would prefer a featherbed. They don't advertise the PRICE of these crazy beds, which averages around $3000. Yow! Also, they are basically air matresses. And the reviews are really quite mixed. So we quickly nixec the SN bed.

Where to shop for a mattress? If it hadn't been Race Weekend, I would have headed to Nebraska Furniture Mart.* But I looked at the NFM ad anyway, to get some ideas of what options I had.

There was 'Deluxe Queen Pillowtop' for $399. And 'Deluxe Pillowtop' (Queen sized) for $649. The only diff appeared to be 'Deep Sleep' versus 'Beautyrest'. I'll take 'Deep Sleep' over 'Beautyrest' anytime, but that was the cheaper option. Too cheap?

Then there was Firm/Plush versus Plush/Firm. Excuse me, but isn't "Plush" the EXACT OPPOSITE of "Firm"?! And does order matter? Obviously so, because the "Plush first" was $200 more.

My head was spinning now. Visco foam? Visco/latex foam? These mattress marketing folks really like slashes, don't they? Pillowtop? Super pillowtop? Euro pillowtop (do I get an espresso with it?)? How much pillowtop does one need for a 'deep sleep'? How about for a 'beautyrest'?

I should have known better, but Mr. Goofy wanted to go visit a store. We chose Mattress Firm (get the clever pun? Groan.). An eager salesdude asked immediately greeted us and asked us about firmness. (This HAS to be an embarrassing job to have). We unaminously said "Firm". He proceeded to have us practice-sleep on a "firm" bed. Which was WAY softer than our existing bed.

"Firmer," we said, with visions of Goldilocks in our heads. We wanted Papa Bear's bed, not Mama Bear's!

He pointed the way to the back of the store. Do normal people sleep on beds with the consistency of Marshmallow Fluff? Were we freaks for wanting something firmer than pudding?

There were three beds that fit our Firmness demands: Simmons, Stearns & Foster, and Tempurpedic. The first bed was too poofy. The second bed was too giggly. The third bed was like laying on a wonderfully supportive cloud...but too f-ing expensive. I'm talking $6000. For that price it should do my laundry, walk the dog and make me breakfast, too.

So we practice-sleeped and practice-sleeped. And Goofy Junior jumped from bed to bed to bed to bed to bed...ad nauseum. It seemed that he was the only one having fun in Hell, er, I mean the Mattress Store.

We eventually escaped and I came home and layed on our current bed. And no, it's not a super pillowtop, visco/latex/plush/firm/euro/espresso-serving cloud. But it works. So it looks like the air mattress might be around for a little while longer. Until we get the energy to return to Hell and go mattress shopping again.


*Note to non-Kansas Citians: The NE Furn. Mart is in close vicinity to our NASCAR track. On race weekend, you can't get within a 10 minute radius without running into race-crazed crowds. Um, no thanks.

Blah!

Ever have one of those days where you feel like the world has pooped on you? I'm having one of those.

I feel furious, hopeless and tired, all at the same time.

Blah.

p.s. Maybe things will improve tomorrow. I'll write more then. Be happy that your day has to be going better than mine.

Would you like some Brains with that?

Check out the video, then think about what you would do.
http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/17/care-for-a-brain-chip/

p.s. You'll have to read the comments on the Freakonomics blog to see my decision.

When Less is More

I had the opportunity to ask for something, and I took it.

The client manager where I am currently working as a contractor asked for me to reduce my hours slightly, so she can adjust to a recent budget cut. I'm thrilled to death that there is still a place for me here, so I agreed. Her request was that I work 14 less days between Sept 1st and the end of the year. Now I love vacation as much as the next person does, but I don't have that much! Nor do I have the money to travel, nor do I have anyplace to go. What to do? What to do?

Then the Devil That Sits on My Left Shoulder (DTSoMLS) whispered in my ear, "Here's your chance...take Fridays off through the end of the year."

The Angel That Sits on My Right Shoulder (ATSoMRS) was horrified. "How will that look? They will think you are not taking your work seriously! And anyway, they would never let you do that!"

But, Me, being in the middle of this debate, thought it was an interesting idea. The client couldn't disagree - she had ASKED me to do this. The problem was lack of vacation days. Then the Devil spoke again.

"Ask to take the time off UNPAID."

Unpaid?!?! What the...!?!?!? Hmmmm... Wait a second. That's not a bad idea.

So...I gathered the data, prepared my case and ASKED.

And...be careful what you ask for. I got a "Yes"! I didn't even have to push much. Just a little.

And, as it turns out, I have quite a few vacation days left. How it's going to play out is that I'm going to use vacay days until they are gone, then the rest of the Fridays will be unpaid. This will add up to a whopping 2-3 days unpaid for the year. Big Whoop. 2-3 days multiplied by my daily pittance..er, income, in exchange for Fridays off for the rest of the year? Hey, sign me up!

So I signed up.

Now the Angel wouldn't let me get off easy. She insisted that, "you must accomplish one big thing each Friday that you are off." And I agreed that it was a good idea.

Then the Devil chimed in, "Oh yeah! Well she also needs to do one fun thing each Friday that she is off."

Then we all had a group hug and a big smile at what we had accomplished.

A Goofy Experiment

The Goofy household was becoming the Chubby household, so I took matters into hand and decided that we would go bread/pizza/rice/pasta-free for one week. An experiment of sorts. This was decided on Sunday night. We had some chicken and a vegetable for dinner. Easy enough.

Then Monday came.

Lunch was hard. No sandwiches....eek! No slice of pizza from Whole Foods (my favorite 'no brainer' lunch). And no Pei Wei (most dishes come with rice or noodles). I ended up going to Pei Wei anyway and getting Lettuce Wraps. Score!

Dinner was hard too. We ended up each having something different. I had a salad with some of the leftover chicken on top. Goofy Junior (who had a free pass from the experiment) had a PB&J sandwich. Mr. Goofy had soup.

Rinse and repeat.

Roundabout Thursday, as Mr. Goofy was falling asleep on the couch at 6:00pm and I was getting ready to yell at him for doing it, we realized...we live on Carbs. Very few items in our pantry are NOT carbs. In fact, we have a full shelf dedicated to pasta of every shape and size and pasta sauces. We have several types of bread. We typically have pizza once or twice a week, and Mexican at least once. We eat sandwiches quite a bit. And toast. And grilled cheese. We rarely eat just 'meat n' potatoes'. And veggies are an afterthought.

So the lack of our beloved carbs was:
(A) Making Mr. Goofy sleepy, and thus, crabby
(B) Making me bitchy
(C) Confusing the hell out of Goofy Junior
(D) Making my back feel better (something about glutens causing inflammation - my doc confirmed that this was a good experiment for me)

So, alas, Mr. Goofy withdrew from the experiment. I persisted, as I was not as tired and was actually starting to see some good results in the form of a weight I haven't seen in about 4 years. Since he wasn't crabby, I wasn't as bitchy (funny how that works). And we are both more aware now of how what you eat effects your mood.

Goofy Thinks

With all the craziness going on with work lately (WAY too many stories to vomit back up here), I came up with a goofy thought today:

What would happen if I quit my job?

Hmmm....well, first of all FEAR. Yikes! No money coming in. But...I DID just get a bonus. And we still have some money left from the sale of our old house. I could survive on jelly sandwiches for a while (I don't like peanut butter). And if I couldn't get a business started on my own quickly, I could always get a part-time job somewhere and make some sort of money.

Second, there's also our second adoption that's in process. What about that? I don't think it would be a big deal...we qualify without my income. I checked this last time our social worker visited. I was just curious, and now I'm glad I asked. To adopt, you have to have household income of 125% of poverty line for your state. We are in Kansas and our poverty line is $17,170. Yeah, I was pretty shocked at how low that was too! We might have to re-do paperwork. Or we could just keep quiet and follow the 'if no one asks, we won't tell' philosophy.

The third issue is Burnt Bridges. I work for a company (A) that has placed me at another company (B) to do contract work. Company A can kiss my ass. I don't care about burnt bridges there. At all. However, Company B could be a potential future employer or future client, and/or folks that I work with may be those that I would want to reach out to in the future for business, mentoring or a free lunch (see jelly sandwiches, above). So I'm a bit concerned about that. But just a bit. A teensy-tiny bit.

I read an article recently that likened starting a business to learning how to swim. Sure, you can go the pool, dip your toe in, dry off, go home. Then come back the next day, dip a foot in, dry off, go home. Or you can overcome your fear and jump in. Provided, of course, you have an idea of how to swim and have some good help there, if you need it (a life preserver of sorts). I've been dipping my toe in for about 10 years now. It's freaking soggy! But...I just might be in the market for a swimsuit soon!

Done with Harry? Now what?!

Me personally...I'm not done with Harry. I'm taking my darn, sweet time. I just watched HP4 last night. I plan on going to see HP5 in the theatres sometime this week. Then I will (hopefully) receive HP6 and HP7 in the mail from Amazon.com. I've already read HP6, but I want to re-read it again. Then, and only then, will I pick up and lovingly read HP7. I can't wait!

I want to wallow in all things wizardly. Yep, I'm OCD like that. And I rarely eat my dessert first.

So, I'm petrified that someone will spoil HP7 for me. I'm afraid to go to the theatre to see HP5, for fear that some blabbermouth fan will bust out with "Hey did you know how it all ends? Well, let me tell you? ...blah, blah, blah". SHUDDER.

Anyway, even though I'm not 1/2 way through my Harry Plan, I've already started looking for the next big thing. I've found a few books that are similar in theme and tone as the HP books. If you're interested, they are:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - think Harry Potter with Greek Gods instead of wizards
The Bartimaeus Trilogy - a young magician and a smart-assed demon; very well-written

I read the Percy Jackson series in about two weeks. There are three books out now, and more to come. The Bart Trilogy I am listening to on audio. I would highly recommend the audio - there are lots of characters and the narrator does a good job of keeping them all straight and sounding different.

Happy reading, whatever you are reading!

Goofy Takes a Class

Is it Goofy to take a 'Soup & Stew" class in the middle of summer? Why of course it is. And that's exactly what I did last night.

I went to a place called the KC Culinary Center (http://www.kcculinary.com/) in downtown Overland Park. It was not a hands-on class, so basically we just watched the chef create wonderful, delicious stuff, while we sipped wine and had some breadsticks, cornbread and foccacia.

We learned how to make Beef Stew, 5-Onion French Onion Soup (complete with garlic crouton and Gruyere cheese on top), New England Clam Chowder (surprisingly easy!), and Chicken Noodle Soup (with homemade noodles).

On that last one, there was a bit of pasta-making. Pasta dough is easy: flour and eggs. Stir a bit, roll out, cut with pizza cutter. So far so good. But then you have to let the noodles "dry" for 2 hours. Goofy has no patient for slow food. The chef asked, "Is this too hard for anyone?" Of course, I raised my hand. I asked, "What is you just want dumplings instead?" The answer? No drying! Just make the dough, spoon and drop into the boiling soup. So Goofy will be making Chicken DUMPLING soup, thankyouverymuch.

He also threw in a recipe for quick Drop Biscuits that I definitely will be using. Bisquik? YUK.

All the soups were yummy. I met some interesting folks, had a glass of wine and had a blast! I can't decide which soup to make first. They were all yummy and fairly simply. I might go for the Stew recipe - that one was hearty enough to be a meal alone.

So, Dear Readers...What have YOU learned to do lately?

I am a Dork

Such plans I had! They were perfect. Until they weren't.

I read Harry Potter before Harry Potter was cool. Bet you haven't heard of Percy Jackson. He's the next cool Potteresque dude. Check him out here. But I digress...

So, anyway, I am obviously looking forward to the seventh and last Harry Potter book (insert teary eyes here). In preparation, I had a plan:

1. Rent movie - Harry Potter #5
2. Go to theatre to see Harry Potter #6
3. Read book - Harry Potter #7

...all within the same week, thus making for a Harry Potter Extravaganza of the highest order. I had my butter beer and chocolate frogs at the ready, but alas...

Does anyone see the giant FLAW in my plan? See it? SEE IT?

There is no Harry Potter #6 movie! Yet. #6 is Half-Blood Prince and it's not due out until November 2008. The movie available for rental would be #4 (Goblet of Fire) and the movie in the theatres is #5 - Order of the Phoenix. Then INSERT BIG GAPING HOLE HERE ...then #7 book (Deathly Hallows).

I have to READ #6! Which is totally okay, but it will add an few days to my plan. But there's no way I can do all that by Saturday night. If you've been living in the Chamber of Secrets, midnight Saturday night is when book #7 arrives.

And, just to add a Dark Mark on my perfect plan, the Goofy family reunion is this weekend. We will be driving to Azkaban, Iowa on Friday. There will be no midnight madness at Border's on Saturday night (Cagey, you gotta represent for me, yo!).

If my perfect plan had been, er..perfect, I would be surfing the 'net for a Borders in Iowa. But alas, I will be reading #6 on Saturday instead of #7.

At least I have some good driving time in which to read. I promise only to read while I'm not driving, okay? I'm just not ready to join Moaning Myrtle yet.

Cheers!

Goofy is Furious

I am furious. I am not furious often. I am usually goofy. But I am now furious. Half of my blood is Irish, so furious is not a small thing. It is a big thing. I am FURIOUS.

Why?

Let me tell you.

I was talking to my manager this afternoon. He mentioned that someone in our department had mentioned that it was odd that I was out of the office "so much recently". I suppose "so much recently" means being an hour or so late on Monday, then having a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and busting my butt to get there by 10:30am. Neither of which I will post as billable time.

The "someone" is yet un-named, although I have my suspects. I'm furious because, c'mon, if I wanted to punch a timeclock, I would work for McDonald's. I'm a professional. I'm in my forties. Do I really need to put in "face time" to be productive? Does this "someone" see how much I work in my home office? Do I really need to be "seen" to be productive? How 80's is this entire topic?

I left the office with a smirk on my face. Whatever. They can kiss my ass. Then, as I started thinking about this more on the drive home, the Furious came out.

Jeez. There's been some shit coming down for the past year regarding my current work situation and I'm thinking this is the straw that broke Goofy's back. Normally I would just blow this off, but I can't. It's stuck under my skin and won't go away.

What's SO ironic about this is...I'm a contractor. All the regular employees get a once a week "work from home" day. I don't. I haven't minded. So some idiot decides to mention that I'm "not in the office" much this week. Why in the world do they care?

I'm thinking...life is too short for shit like this...

NOTE: I posted this last night, then deleted it today, then decided WTF and re-posted it. I'm not as peeved today.